Time For Kathy Kexel’s Debut!

Along the path I’ve wandered as a writer, I’ve met some delightful people. One of my favorites is a woman I met in a hay field in Wisconsin. Kathy was there for the radio station she worked for, reporting on this assemblage of Christian Authors. We got to talking and became friends. 

This week she saw what Jamie Greening, Joe Shaw, and I had in the works and asked to join in. Okey-dokey! And thus another writer was born. 

Here’s the link to her blog. I don’t think she’s got anything for sale anywhere yet, but that will happen down the road. In the meantime, go read the story: History.

 

See you next week with 4 more flash fiction pieces to keep you amused while we all hide in the basement. Or, Attic. Or, in Shaw’s case the shed in the back of the neighbor’s yard. Please remember that we’re doing this for fun, but we’d really love it if you bought a book, downloaded one of the audio books on this blog, or just sent us your Visa card number.

Bark. Joe Shaw Strikes A Blow!

Joe Shaw is a seriously strange person. I like that in a man. He’s a friend for years, and we’ve worked on some other projects together. Today he joins our legion of free writers. Follow the links on his page and buy some of his stuff – it pays our bills! But it’s on the honor system. No pressure. 

 

Now, follow the link below to the story of the day!

 

Bark – A Free Story

 

 

It’s Jamie Greening Day!

As noted yesterday, we’re kicking this COVID-19 thing to the corner by, um, er, well, writing a bunch of flash fiction about COVID-19. 

On the other hand, it gives me a chance to introduce you to my buddy, and excellent author, Jamie D. Greening. He is one of my favorite people, and a prolific/great author – the two rarely go in tandem. 

Now, our deal is we provide all this stuff for free. We ask that you hit our tin cup on the curb (Amazon) and buy our books/audio books so we can earn a few bucks. His Amazon page is here. Click the link and buy stuff. 

 

Now, without further ado, click this link and go read his story for today: Patient Zero.

 

 

That’s The Name Of The Game

If you’re a long-time reader, you will be expecting today’s blog. I mean, seriously, what else would you get from me?

If you’re here from Mr. Shaw’s blog/social media, and Pastor Greening’s blog/social media, I welcome you. I hope you enjoy this. 

Wondering what I’m talking about? Three days a week, until COVID-19 becomes a memory (or until we run out of ideas) one of our blogs will host  a new piece of flash fiction for your enjoyment. Professionally written drivel to keep you from cabin fever. 

The links to their blogs will pop up each day. Once you’ve read the post, go buy our books . Or, audio books. Either way, we’re asking for your support. 

You will note, no pay walls to bound over, no signing up for a newsletter, nothing. You’re on the honor system for helping us pay for the time we’re putting in. 

Now, I want to thank ABBA – the greatest act of my youth. I freely admit that I have ransacked their lyrics to write today’s story. I know that it’s risky, but head to their website and buy their stuff. Seriously, I own all the cd’s the lyrics come from below. I hope you enjoy the game and buy the songs to find the lyrics as well. 

 

Now, to the flash fiction just for you dear readers:

 

That’s The Name Of The Game

“Nurse, can you explain this chart note to me?”

Her voice was muffled from the mask and the containment gear, generating a quizzical look on the nurses equally obscured face.

“What does the note on line 142 of the digital chart mean?”


The nurse swiveled the monitor toward him and poked a black-gloved finger at the line, reading along like a slightly slow second-grader. The long hours in the isolation unit were taking a toll, but with over 60% of the staff out ill there wasn’t much they could do to get rest without neglecting patients.


A look of victory came over his face, “Doctor, we were talking about this one at shift change. She’s in and out with the fever rollercoasting, but when she does come out she speaks nothing but nonsense.”


“Fever gibberish, or words?”


“Words, Doctor. But screwy stuff. It seems like she’s trying to sing it all to us. Nobody knows what any of it means.”


Shamika Howard reviewed the patient profile: white female, 62 years of age, moderately fit, and not yet on a ventilator. She was strong, but her answering a few questions would aid in her treatment. Clicking out of the file, she noticed the patient was awake, and looking at her through the bubble hood that kept her oxygen content up. It was the last stage before a ventilator, and it was much easier on the throat.


“Hey. You’re awake at last. How are you doing?”


“Under attack, I’m being taken. About to crack, defenses breaking. Won’t somebody please have a heart? Come and rescue me now cause I’m falling apart.”


Dr. Howard was surprised. She understood some of what the patient said, but it did seem like she was trying to sing her answer.”


“I’m sorry, but please calm down and speak slowly. I’m afraid you’ll start coughing and not be able to stop. We don’t want to have to use a ventilator and sedation.”


“Look at me now, will I ever learn? I don’t know how but I suddenly lose control.”


Dr. Howard turned toward the monitor and scanned the notes. There was no mention of the patient being a psych patient, but they were clearly trying to sing all their answers. And then she found it – when the patient first came in she was lucid for a few minutes and exhibited the same disorder. She remembered it from med school, it was called “dysprosody.”


Clicking the stylus on the screen, she typed in a note for a psych consult on an urgent basis and left the room, decontaminating in the airlock.


An hour later, Dr. Sven Kungsleden had fitted out in the airlock and came in to talk to the patient. She was agitated and pitching about in restraints. He heard her raspy voice as he got closer to the bed.


“Feeling like a number one. My resistances running low
And every day the hold is getting tighter and it troubles me so.”


“So, I’m Doctor Kungsleden. I understand you insist on singing your answers. Do you remember what happened and how you got here?”

“It’s so strange when you’re down and lying on the floor
How you rise, shake your head, get up and ask for more.”


Kungsleden felt a hint of a smile crossing his lips. “I’m guessing that you’ve run quite a fever with your Covid-19. Do you remember anything?”

The patient twitched and struggled against the restraints. Finding she could get no slack, she slumped back on the bed and answered, “There’s a fire within my soul. Don’t know how to take it, don’t know where to go. My resistances running low. And every day the hold is getting tighter and it troubles me so. Just one look and I can hear a bell ring. One more look and I forget everything, whoa.”

Kungsleden had it now. “You’ve run a fever, but don’t’ remember anything at some points. Your ears are ringing as well, correct?”

“Ring, ring, I stare at the phone on the wall, and I sit all alone impatiently.

“Waterloo – Couldn’t escape if I wanted to.”


He smiled. “I will take that as a yes. Do you understand I’m here to help you?”

She nodded with a sudden vigor. “Waterloo – Knowing my fate is to be with you. Waterloo – Finally facing my Waterloo”


The speaker in the room buzzed, Doctor Howard was in the airlock. “Is she going to be okay? Is it dysprosody?”


Before he could answer, the patient screamed out in her oxygen bubble, “I was sick and tired of everything. Suddenly I feel all right.”


Doctor Kungsleden turned to the patient and sang back, “And suddenly it’s gonna be.”

Howard looked puzzled.


“I’ve seen this once before. Where did they find her?”


Howard said, “I reviewed the chart. They got a call from her daughter who was worried about her. The police found her sitting in a recliner, passed out and feverish. She was wearing a robe and had headphones on, connected to her stereo. They have no idea how long she’d been ill, but they said she was humming when they found her.”


Kungsleden gave the patient a smile. “You were listening to ABBA’s gold album on repeat when you got sick, weren’t you? I love that one – it’s practically a requirement to listen to it in my home in Sweden. I’m guessing it’s an old favorite you went to for comfort when you didn’t feel well.”


The patient got wild eyed and nodded as hard as she could, “Oh yeah, and I have met my destiny in quite a similar way. The history book on the shelf Is always repeating itself.”


“That, Doctor Howard, explains it all. She’s been listening to the same songs over and over for days in a fever state. She’s lucky to be able to speak at all. This should wear off in a few days when she feels better. Just make sure the staff engages her in conversation when they come into the room.”


Kungsleden turned to the patient and spoke quietly, “I guess we should be glad you didn’t have AC/DC on instead or you’d be shrieking about the Highway to Hell, and nobody would have said a word about it, just written you off as needing a sedative.”


The patient, slumping on the pillow, uttered just one more phrase before falling asleep, “Deep inside both of us can feel the autumn chill.”

Yippee, Skippee, You’re All Going Dippy.

I’ve been joking that since I’m eligible for Mad Cow disease due to my living in Europe in the 1980-1990 time period, that I’d like a Corona with my burger. 

Some have objected that it’s not funny to joke about such things. 

So, let’s have a reality check here at the blog.

All of you have risked your lives in innumerable ways that you discount because “it ain’t happened yet.” Examples would be driving your car, walking in a crosswalk, eating at a restaurant, eating your grandmother’s pumpkin pie (that one’s an inside joke for my family – quite an ambulance ride I took that day….), being in an airplane, using electricity, petting strange dogs, swimming in the ocean, being in a speedboat without a life jacket, walking across frozen lakes, and annoying the Chief – or his wife.

The point is that we all die from something. Now, should obese dudes with asthma purposely infect themselves with Corona? Nope. But I’m not going to hide in the basement at home and hope that none of the mail we get has been handled by a sick person. My employer has put us all on telecommute duty. I’ll have to stay home and work. Eh, it is what it is. But I’m not going to go nuts avoiding a virus that I’m taking reasonable measures to avoid. I’m home. I have food and water. I have no reason to wander about in the world right now.

I’ve had two viral illnesses in the last 35 years that laid me low. I survived them both. Both times I probably should have been hospitalized. But I was delirious, so I just lucked out and weathered the storm. I promise, Mom, that if I get really sick I will go to the doctor. 

In the meantime, my semi-hording instincts will do me well. I have a wealth of canned goods that we made ourselves, and with a few simple things picked up last week at the store I can do a month in solitary and probably still gain weight. This includes feeding my wife – she insists. Chewy has a big, new bag of dog food I bought a couple of weeks ago. He will never run out of dog biscuits, I buy six months worth when I buy any, and it was just two months ago when I last shopped. 

I have been banned from church at long last. Unfortunately, it’s not because they’ve caught on to me, but they’ve closed the doors for the time being. Okay. I’ve been asked to leave bars, but never a church. Hmmmm.

Well, back to contemplating the blessings in my life. I started to try and count up all the times I should have died earlier today and quit when I hit double digits. Real, actual things that could have killed me – like bullets, airplanes that made emergency landings, tornadoes, angry helicopters, people narrowly missing me in the crosswalk, etc. I guess it’s not my time yet. But if it is, it’s been a heck of a ride, and I know where I’ll wind up!

(And no, smarty pants, I don’t think I’ll need any ice cubes.)

In the meantime,  if you’d like a free audio book. I’m giving 100 away. Click this link and go like my Facebook author page. There’s a pinned post talking about free books. Put the comment there – it’s the one spot I will check regularly.