Mr. President, we need to talk about a couple of issues that are on my mind. I love what you’re doing with the nation’s economy. I endorse your foreign policy stance. I fully support you firing anyone you want – you have the legal right. In general, I admire your lack of political correctness. I think your calling it like it is helps us as a nation break through the tendrils of socialism that threaten to strangle our Republic.
But you are hurting your own cause with some of the rhetoric. I honestly feel like you have nothing but good intentions for the nation. But when you let the press get your goat, or you slide off-script in front of the rally crowd, it hurts you a lot. Today I had lunch with two very dear friends. Both good church-going people who have history as entrepreneurs. We talked politics as only friends in their later years can: listening to each other.
Mr. President, I heard two things: “I like some of the policies.” This was quickly followed by “But when he starts demeaning people on looks and IQ it seems so wrong that I have to shut him out.”
President Trump, he’s right. You’re right. Some of the people you blast are exactly what you say they are in your speeches. But the average person who’s not a political animal (which is most of the country) misses the policy, or your heartfelt words, because the press only carries the slur on somebody that you had along with the great thing you did for the country. The average person never reads the transcript, or watches the full video like I do as a political junkie.
So, without further ado, I’m offering my help. I’m almost ready to retire, and I’d be willing to come and hang out with you to help keep you on message. Just like you, I wouldn’t take a dime for the job. I think that if you had an ex-spook who can cuss like a sailor, and do it in several languages, you might also listen to my guidance on how not to be perceived as a crass bully. I’m pretty smart, can write a sentence, and have an excellent background in military events, technology, and intelligence. You can trust a guy like me to keep my mouth shut as well. You need that badly right now.
In the meantime, how about you just quit saying things like “She’s a very low I.Q. person.” Seriously, unless you have the testing to prove it, it just makes you look tacky. Same thing for nicknames. Yes, Senator Warren is a fraud and a fake in the eyes of the Cherokee nation. But all you have to do is smile when it comes up. Don’t rise to the bait. Use minions for that sort of thing if you must, but never wrestle in the mud with the pigs. They like it.
Finally, if you do all of the above, I think we can grant you a special dispensation to call Jim Acosta anything you want. He is a preening twit, and has proven it over and over. But you only get to point a finger at him and say that if you can restrain yourself on the other items I mentioned.
Do we have a deal?
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NEW BOOK IS OUT!
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