If you see a mob of zombies howling for my blood outside my cube …

They might not be zombies but coworkers.  My associate and I have a new task we’re doing in the middle of the night.  It breaks things.  Lots of things.  This makes the day crew very unhappy.  We break them and then go home before the damage reports come in to the office.  The day crew then has to fix all the stuff we broke the night before.  I understand that they were all walking around mumbling our names yesterday.  Kind of reminds me of “The Walking Dead” in more than a few ways.  Traditional zombie resolution methodology is, however, not approved by the H.R. department.  Actually, it’s specifically prohibited.

I won’t say what the project is, but it’s step one in a big upgrade.  We are essentially bouncing things off the floor to see what shatters and what really bounces back on to the shelf without falling apart.  So, breaking things is more-or-less the actual goal.  It’s like pre-breaking them before we really break them in a few months.

Make no sense?  Then you clearly don’t work with computers or telecommunications equipment.  But I’m betting that you do work with at least a few zombies.

Insomnia is for wimps. I am a wimp.

Most of you reading this post are wondering how I could be complaining about insomnia at 5 pm Central time.  Wonder no more.

I live in a nice quiet neighborhood.  I work overnights.  My nice quiet neighborhood was graced by the addition of a brand new hockey rink two years ago.  I went to the city meeting about the rink and voiced my objection.  Objecting to hockey in Minnesota is like objecting to The Virgin Mary in Rome. They put the thing in at the same level as my house just about 150 feet away from my bedroom.  And, because it’s not cold enough in Minnesota, they put in a chiller unit so they could maintain the ice sheet for an extra month on either end of the normal season. The drone from the city said it would sound just like a garbage truck at idle.  Picture that outside your window all day.  Because that’s when it runs.  It doesn’t need to run at night, no sunshine to melt the ice.

When I bought the house there was a hockey rink across the street.  NO problem, it’s a public park.  It was the traditional Minnesota deal, throw the boards up in late October, wait for it to get cold and then flood it with a fire hose.  It was about 8 or 9 feet below the level of my house and shielded by the recreation center.  No problem. Kind of nice to wander over and watch the kids skate.  Nice days there’d be a few folks out there, some games at night under the lights, etc.

But the new rink is right outside my window.  Every puck that hits the boards resounds through my house.  I know (because I keep track of such things) that the city promised it would only be open certain hours.  Yeah.  Sure.  And they’ll never, ever, lie about the planned enforcement.  Fact is that the thing is in use from around 6 am to 1 am many days. The street lights provide a lovely illumination for the people using the rink.  So all sorts of people come by for a bit of skating and stick work before and after work.

Me?  I am legally disabled due to hearing loss from my time in the Navy.  I can’t hear much most days.  And yet I cannot sleep. Even in my lovely, calm, darked out room with extra sound insulation over the window.  And 33db earplugs.  And a fan.  And a CPAP hissing away.  Yes, the noise is sporadic and irregular and thus cuts through my sleep like a knife.

Did I mention that during the summer they’re out there on roller blades with hard rubber balls?  Joy!  It’s year round!!!!!!

And today, just to ice the cake, I did manage to fall asleep with the pucks a’banging.  That did not prepare me for the roofers showing up around 1 pm to rip off the roof at the back of the house and start the repairs to that leaky mess.  Not their fault, they have a job to do and vampires are not usually part of the scenery.

Guess I have to just put on my big-boy pants and get ready to go tutor the kids.  The fact that I got a whopping 4 hours of sleep is not an issue.  Until around 5 am tomorrow morning I’ll stick to that statement.  All bets are off at 0501.

But, I did do my research.  The city’s hockey rink is in violation of their own noise ordinance.  I’ll be talking to the city about that this week.

In the meantime, I hope you sleep well tonight.