The List Has Grown: Stormy’s List. Things Stormy Hates, Part XXVII

Back in 2013 I documented the list of things Stormy feared/hated/disliked. It was longish. Little did I know that time would reveal several more items of loathing. I wonder if she’s outside right now adding to the list?

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So as not to keep you in suspense, I must now reveal the two most recent items on the list: Microphones and hoses.

Let’s get right down to it: without microphones (and the stand to hold it) it’s hard to do voice over from the comfort of your living room. This means that I regularly drag the device out from the cubby-hole where it resides, set the legs up, and stand in the middle of the room talking to myself. This freaks the dog out and annoys her at the same time. All she has to do is see “the stick” set up in the living room and she goes to hide in the bathroom upstairs. She will not come down until it is put away. Her cautious approach tells me that attack may be imminent. The question is, will the microphone attack her or will Stormy attack the microphone?

Item number two is a goodie: the hose. We didn’t do a garden last year. The hose was never used. But not in 2014. This year the hose has made an appearance and it is an intruder worthy of attack. Especially that wet stuff that comes charging out of the end.

The cycle starts with barking. After several minutes of noise, she progresses to bouncing up and down and running around me, darting in and out. Eventually she must attack the column of water, viciously snapping her jaws. (Note: I don’t ever want her to really dislike me. Those teeth are razor sharp and there are a whole bunch of them. That water doesn’t stand a chance.) She will pause in the middle of the attack to swallow some nice cold water, but will resume shortly until she feels the evil hose has been vanquished.

Actually, I am laughing so hard that I have to turn off the water flow before she’s completely soaked and has lungs full of water. She goes off dripping and glares when I resume. Normally that would be enough, but if I change the hose pattern from “shower” to “stream” she loses it again. The change in sound brings her running for another joust with the hose demon. This has been known to go on for up to an hour. The end result is always the same: she looks funny wet.Early in the battle - just the face is wet.

Each day brings out some new idiosyncrasy to marvel at in our house. But the moments in between are what make it all worthwhile. This week we had lots of thunderstorms. Which meant no hose. It also meant that she spent her night cuddled up with me on the bed, nibbling on the pillow case (her, not me.) She may ignore me, avoid me, be wary of all my tools and implements, but when the thunder comes I’m the one she seeks out for solace.

I hope you have a person to give you solace in your life when things get rough. In the meantime, quit nibbling on the pillow and get out of the hose stream.

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