Several years ago I met Larry Timm at a writer’s conference. He was the other guy there. Seriously, it was mainly well dressed women. And Larry. We were both waiting for our chance to go and flop in front of agents and publishers. To prepare, we both wore ill-fitting clothing and sweat that oily stuff that coronary patients exude. For the next two days we went from table to table together, inflicting our insanity on unsuspecting women at the conference. They usually gave us their desert just to shut us up.

Knowing a good racket when we found it, we continued this schtick at other writers conferences for the next two years. We at a lot of other people’s creme brulee. Along the way, we became great friends, and we somehow weathered the storms of new authors without losing what was left of our warped senses of humor.

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Larry’s book, Murder for Emily’s Sake, is now on sale. Since he asked me to write a blurb for the book (it had better be on the cover) I thought it only fair to interview him for the blog. I am honor bound to only give the book one star. I threatened him with it, and we both thought that was pretty funny. We’ll see how funny he thinks it is when it appears on Amazon later tonight. (The actual rating will be higher – maybe. Depends on how quickly his check clears.)

Anywhooo…

Where was I? Well, I was going to interview Larry for the blog, but since we talk to each other on the phone, or he annoyingly texts me (I hate texting) at least every other day, I figured I could answer the questions without even asking him. His lovely wife will no doubt be the judge of the content here, so I’ll just get on with it.

Here is my non-interview with Larry W. Timm, author of Murder for Emily’s Sake:

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Joe: Larry, it’s very nice of you to take the time to talk to me today. I appreciate it.

Larry: So I’m supposed to pretend you’re not delusional and you’re actually talking to me. Fine. I was done mowing the lawn and had to sit down for a while. I didn’t realize I’d eaten that much bacon this morning, and I’m a little dizzy. Seemed like a good time to get this out of the way.

Joe: Yes. I can see that when I look at your twitching left eye. I understand your book is now available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and several other platforms. How exciting is that?

Larry: It’s considerably better than not being published. I worried about that for a long time. I messed up when pitching the book and told some of the publishers that I knew you. Thankfully, Eddie Jones at Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas decided to take a chance on me anyway. It appears he’s forgiven you for disrupting his lecture at the Blue Ridge Mountain Christian Writers Conference. He does, however, wonder if you still have that cane you were trying to break chairs with?

Joe: No. But I remember him, and it’s nice to be noticed!

Larry: Aren’t you even going to mention the book?

Joe: Why?

Larry: Because I’m here to sell books. Let me take over. I wrote Murder for Emily’s Sake over the last five years. It was a project near to my heart, as I’ve been a pro-life advocate for a long time. I got to combine my passion for this cause with my sense of humor, and work a few details in from my time as a Funeral Director. Somehow, in spite of being your friend, I managed to sell the book to a publisher. I think it’s pretty darned good, and should be popular with Christian readers.

Joe: I can’t disagree. You’re doing okay, keep going.

Larry: The book focuses on the travails of a team of women who have helped save a baby by counseling the mother-to-be at an abortion clinic. Unfortunately, the young woman … Am I giving away too much of the plot?

Joe: Not yet, but you tend to go bonkers if nobody stops you. Let’s just leave it at “A book with both humor and drama.” You don’t tell them any more than that here, they can click this link and go read the blurbs/sales pitch on the website. Fair enough?

Larry: Very reasonable for you. Do your readers know about your sick sense of humor?

Joe: Yes. Now, back to you: is there a sequel in the works?

Larry: Not a sequel, but I’ve got some other things I’m working on, and one of them involves you, a detective agency, and a small car.

Joe: Thanks for dropping by today, Larry W. Timm. I hope you see all your wishes come true with this book. I’d hope that includes bacon.

Larry: Why is a picture of your book in our interview about my book.

Joe: Because I couldn’t find a picture of bacon. I suppose I’d better do this:

Larry: Thanks. It’s been very strange not being interviewed today.

Joe: You’re welcome.

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Assault on Saint Agnes is available here. Just click this link!

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