Taking A Shot At Offending Everyone Today.

I’ve had such a good run that I’m going to risk being myself for a blog post. Before I cheese off all the new people, thank you for stopping by. Seems a few thousand made a visit to read the Memorial Day tribute below. I hope you keep coming back, because you never know when I’ll say something useful again.

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Now, on to gorillas…

First up is the dead one in Ohio. I’m sure it will be a matter of days before a Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young cover band in Berkeley does a cover of Ohio with the names changed to inflame the stupid.

So that I don’t confuse any of the feeble-minded who were rooting for the ape, and against the mother, I’d like to clarify: It was an innocent four-year old child. If the ape didn’t die, the child probably would have. End of argument.

I know some of you are now furiously organizing a boycott of this blog. Tough. The mother, it seems, lost track of her child in a busy place. Happens all the time. Trust Santa on that one. I sit and watch it happen every time I’m at the mall in my special chair. Nothing malicious about it, just happens. In this case an extremely strong primate got hold of the child and the only course of action open was to shoot to kill the ape, or risk the child’s death.

For those of you now adding an extra dose of venom to your loathing of me, I’m willing to bet you’ve never had to kill anything in your lives. Tofu does not rend your child’s limbs from their body, and hot yoga does not produce the rush of Adrenalin that the ape felt when it got a new toy and people started screaming. Sometimes you have to make a judgement, and this one was right on the money. Tranquilizers don’t always perform to expectation. Most drugs are influenced by the patient’s mood, level of agitation, and body chemistry. I (who does resemble a silver back) had this experience in the emergency room once upon a time. I was given the “normal” amount of pain killer for a shattered leg. It was as effective as a baby aspirin. Thankfully a doctor overrode the protocol and gave me 10x the suggested dose. That’s what it took to take away the agony and calm me down.

Are you willing to risk the ape having the same reaction? If so, let’s arrange for you to start at the other end of the enclosure and let me tranquilize the furry tank. I’m a really good shot, so you know I won’t miss. Shot Expert in the Navy, did I. Still shoot as well. How about it???? Any takers? Thought not.

Next gorilla: Donald Trump. Some of you probably missed his Tuesday press conference. Shame. It was a fantastic bit of theater. Invest a minute or 60 in this video and then read my thoughts below.

Wow, eh? Did you notice the reporters looking at each other and thinking, “Well, he’s a puffed jackass, but Trump doesn’t mean me.” I did. What did the audience, including some of the reporters, like about this? Trump just wasn’t taking any crap or stupidity from the reporters.

There is quite a bit of truth in what Mr. Trump said on Tuesday. Some reporters do a fantastic job, especially the ones who actually know how to write in the wake of researching the topic. Sadly, not as many of those around as you’d like to see. I happen to think it isn’t going to change, as we’re saddled with an entire generation of blow-dry narcissists in front of the camera. Strangely, that’s what the press calls Trump. He just held up the mirror today.

I’m not a huge (pronounced “youge”) fan of The Donald. But I have often wondered when it was “writ” that the press can pound on you and you’re thin-skinned if you respond with something less than servile fawning? He’s not going to do that, ever. I rather enjoy it. They thought they’d struck gold with Trump, but instead he’s their kryptonite. The average person is probably rooting for him, because they have to take it when bosses, coworkers, and everyone else starts that nonsense with them in their lives. No Mas!

Final gorilla: Hillary. Let me gently remind you that she’s a lying felon who endangered critical national interests with her private email server. If I’d done it I’d be in prison. She’s running for president. It’s not gender, age, or shrill cackles that make this an issue: she signed an NDA (Non-Disclosure Agreement) that said she’d protect classified information. Read the next paragraph carefully and you’ll fully get it if you’ve an open mind.

As Secretary of State, she had the authority/responsibility to determine the classification level of certain materials, as she did the integrated analysis of them in her job and produced a final product for the executive office. We used this term to deal with it: DECL: OADR. Stands for Declassify: Originating Agency Determination Required. You see, she could make things classified just because she said they were. She could not, however, declassify other agencies material – DECL: OADR. Consequently, she had to know what “the good stuff” looked like, and exercise due caution.

So it comes down to her being an utter imbecile or a damned liar. You pick. You can pick both, but you don’t have to do so. Either way, not fit for the Presidency.

If I’ve failed to annoy all of you, let me just say this: I hate kittens and puppies as well.

That ought to do it.

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