When It Rains You Get Wet. It Also Slakes Your Thirst. Drowns Turkeys, Too.

First, see the previous blog (right below this one) for a couple of giveaway dealies – free audio books of Assault on Saint Agnes and Kindle versions as well. Free as in no cash, but you have to like something or tweet about it. Hey, I need the publicity!

Now we get to the meat of this thing. More like bacon than anything else, and I love bacon. I hope you do as well.

Please follow me on Twitter, and “Like” the Facebook author page. Don’t forget to subscribe (the box is on the right side of the page) to be eligible for free e-books and other benefits! Oh yeah – grab a copy of Assault on Saint Agnes if you’re of a mind.

I’m not going to preach today. You should all be thankful for that. Only one congregation has ever had to listen to me from a pulpit. God and I had a long talk after that stage of my life and we agreed that it was not a place I belong. I beat Him to the punch and said it wasn’t my forte. But there’s a God story unwinding in my life and I’d like to share it with you today.

For the last 13 years (longer, but who’s counting) I’ve aspired to do audio books for a living. I did a bunch of them for Minnesota State Services For The Blind, and while it was the toughest gig I’ve ever auditioned for, it was very rewarding. But there was no money in that volunteer position, and I knew I could do this for real.

I also, for the last six or so years, desired to be a professional author. See the first paragraph! It took a lot of work, and I busted my brain more than once wondering if this was the right thing. But there are now several books with my name on the cover… well, one that’s been published, but there are more on the hard drive. Two have even made it to beta reader stages. Serious stuff.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what? The answer is kind of beautiful: after all these years of seeking those fruits, and working very hard on the prayer aspect of it all, God opened the blessing basket and threw some amazing items to me.

In the last two weeks I’ve published my first novel. I’ve released my first audio book. I have to decide whether to write the prequel or the sequel first, as the demand seems to be there. Great reviews are coming in in good numbers. (If you have read it, but not reviewed it, please hop over to Amazon right now, review it, and come back. I’ll wait.)

Also, in the last two weeks, I’ve been signed to do an audio book for another author (publishing house, actually) who heard about me. My voice partner and I will be turning that work out in the next few weeks. So, BOOM, one decade-long goal accomplished in my life.

Professional author stuff: I’ve been asked, tentatively, to write a book for someone else. Yup, perfect job for a spook: ghostwriting. The requirements were writing ability, military experience, and willingness to travel to a third-world country to do research. Nice check if I get the job. Nice person – met them last week. Nothing says professional author like a certified check.

Now, for my friends from NAVESCGRU, quit laughing about my military experience. Yes, I did specialize in telling dirty jokes in Arabic and eating extra meals while at sea. I even managed to make it through basic training without ever firing a weapon. (I think the statute of limitations is over on this, so I’m ratting my Company Commander out. He had something else for me to do on the day my company went to the range for the box to be checked. As he pointed out, I had plenty of weapons experience as a police officer, and going to the range with my smart mouth probably meant I’d wind up in trouble. Instead, I grabbed my courier bag, went to the exchange, had an ice cream soda and smoked some Marlboros. I was mysteriously signed off on all the records as having been qualified to carry a weapon. Yes, in 1984 the Navy sent you for a six hour qualification that consisted, I’m told, of not shooting the guy next to you, firing about twenty rounds of ammo, and making sure there were no spurious holes in anyone’s uniform. That, thankfully has changed. I really did qualify as an expert on the pistol later on, and was qualified to carry a shotgun for the repel boarders team on one ship.)

But so many of the things that happen in the military, and nowhere else, are common to all services, all generations, and all nations. Recruits are recruits, everyone gets yelled at for having their hands in their pockets, and everyone has a story about “that guy from…” in their basic training group. The client needed someone who had lived the life to get his viewpoint. I hope to get the job, and ask you to offer up a prayer to help make that happen.

Now, I’ve gotten wet (worked up the sweat getting here), slaked my thirst (you have all been kind in your reviews and purchases), and have to avoid drowning like a turkey in the rain. So much happening so fast and it’s easy to get overwhelmed. The fact that I’m writing this at 0035 is probably an indication of that fact.

Just wanted to share that good news with all of you. Most of all, I wanted to acknowledge that God controls that faucet.

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Assault on Saint Agnes is now available. Just click this link to find all the options! (I recommend the autographed copy. It’s cheaper than from the big stores, I scribble in it, and you get it mailed within 5 days. We all win.

When you finish reading any book (especially mine) please review it at www.amazon.com, www.barnesandnoble.com, and www.goodreads.com. Your review increases the chances of someone looking for a new book greatly. Authors appreciate your review, even if it is just “I thought this was a good read and will give it to my dog to chew.” Those few words, and a 1-5 rating, make or break how the search engines find us. Thanks in advance.

Joseph Courtemanche

About Joseph Courtemanche

I'm a conservative Christian author who's been happily married for over 30 years. I am a Veteran of the United States Navy, Naval Security Group. I speak a few languages, I have an absurd sense of humor and I'm proud to be an American.
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