Ranty Rant Rant

There is nothing as good as a rant. Time to purge the system. Seems the cycle length between rants is decreasing for some reason. I suspect it is because society is getting dumber.

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Right out of the chute, I’d like to say ENOUGH WITH THE COLORED RIBBONS AND SPECIAL DAYS AND MONTHS!!!11!!1!1111. I think my tolerance was exceeded when I saw the first pink dumpster. I like women. I like all their parts. But for crying out loud, we jumped the shark with the pink trash cans. It got worse when we then doubled down on the awareness month, and have two of them. You are not allowed to criticize this for fear you are going to be accused of rooting for cancer.

Let me tell you, I had my first meal at the breast of a woman. I’ve admired them since puberty. I am not rooting for cancer. My first real experience with it as a quasi adult was when a friend’s mother died from the disease. It was horrible. So, let it go. If you let my rant go, I won’t even mention the pink-sillouette targets that say to aim for the cure. No kidding – words to that effect, can’t break copyright. Seriously, I figured some lunatic in the PC police would have already been complaining about that one!

Speaking of guns, let’s talk about television. I know it’s fiction – I’m in that business in a way. But for the sake of both Smith & Wesson, can we at least get two things right? First, if that little black lever at the back of the slide is down, the gun is on safe. It won’t go bang. Oopsie. Next time you watch television, look for that detail. Pretty good bet it will be a Smith & Wesson model 59 in the closeup, as some armorer in Hollywood bought a couple and they are in danged near every television show and movie around. This is highly unlikely: they haven’t been made in about 30 years. I had one. I loved it. I can assure you that it won’t fire in the condition shown on television.

Black lever in firing position.

Black lever in firing position.

On that same rant (because I’m funny that way) they don’t go bang when your finger is out of the trigger housing either. Check the closeup. That’s what happens when actors don’t know about guns. It bugs me. But the director or prop master should have caught it. See, another thing I’ve ruined for you today.

Next topic is a doozy. Have you noticed that people are stopping further from the bumper of the car in front of them these days? Not just by a foot or so, but by several feet. This wastes space in turn lanes, and annoys me. Especially since I figured out that it’s because the jerk is texting and coasted to a stop too soon so that they can keep texting and not risk hitting the car in front of them. Look for the glow on the windshield at night and you’ll see I’m right. It’s always fun to honk while the light is still red, because they’ll likely hit the gas before they get their head back outside the car, and they’ll rear-end the car in front of them. This is only permissible if both cars have done the same thing and are currently texting. (For the sake of all that is bacon, don’t do this for real. This is just my vengeful ideal move. People could be hurt.)

Item next: all of you bicyclists wearing black clothing without lights at night deserve what you get. Spend the $10 for a head lamp and an additional $10 for a tail light that blinks. I’d like not to hit you. But when you wing around the stop sign without stopping, into my path, with no lights – well, you’re on your own.

I have more to contribute, but I’m pretty sure it’s been disturbing enough. Just to clarify: I like women, I hate technical flubs in movies and television, I hate texting drivers (but wouldn’t hurt one), and I used to ride a bike.

See you soon.

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