Florida Man Has Arrived

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This past winter, my wife and I moved to Southwest Florida. We were close to urban sophisticates in that we enjoyed a great number of ethnic foods, were familiar with many cultures, and spoke at least five languages between us. However, neither of us can stand opera, and loathe Sevilla Flamenco. 

Now, after a mere six months in a home in the Everglades, we have become a flatland version of the Beverly Hillbillies. Yes, Jethro Bodean and I have a lot in common. I’m going to say that Kip is Ellie Mae, but there is a chance at our ages that we’re actually Jed and Granny.

Not only am I fascinated with moonshining (not doing it, but love looking at the videos and companies that sell the equipment) and canning – just covered Jed and Grannie with those two, but entertainment has gotten simpler out here in the boonies far from reliable internet. 

We enjoy good rainstorms, the clouds, the many birds, and guessing when the electric done gonna come back. (Thank God the backup battery system went active with most of the solar a few weeks ago. Five power bounces yesterday in our area, one big one today so far.) We do watch a few hours of internet television a few days a week, but mostly we read, write, go for walks, or massage Chewy’s belly. 

However, today I knew I was likely to strike oil if I went shooting in our yard. I went outside to kill a wasp nest that was being constructed in an outdoor power box – it has a clear plastic cover. On my way around the side of the house, I realized what it was Chewy was so fascinated with this morning when we let him out: there was a dead possum in the yard.

Now I do have some standards, and cookin’ up possum ain’t on that list. Besides, it was much like a Norwegian Blue Parrot: stiff as a board, joined the choir eternal. It wasn’t playing possum, and the freshness date had passed hours before in the heat we have today.

Back to the garage, grab the shovel, and hurl the beastie into the vacant part of our property. The vultures (yes, they are numerous) should spot it within a day, and they will dispose of it promptly. Anything dead goes over the fence and they come to clean it up.

So, I flung it into the lot, killed the wasps, and went inside to inform Grannie what I’d found in the yard. 

She did not grab the stew pot. She did not insist that I sniff it to see if it is good. But she did ask that I move the corpse to the diagonally opposite side of the yard, outside the fence, so that she could watch the vultures. 

The entertainment value of vultures picking a possum clean has now become a thing at our house. My shovel and I returned to the yard, picked up the star of our show, and marched around to the opposite side of the property to deposit the body in the undeveloped field.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was when I truly knew that I was “Florida Man.”

 

Oh, there you are. I’ve got a bonus for you folks that made it past the dead possum: the unaired pilot for the “Hillbillies of Beverly Hills.”  Yup, slightly different name, but it’s the whole backstory as it was pitched to the studios and networks. It is well worth 35 minutes of your day if you watched the show in the 60s.  

Finally, here are the buzzards at lunch, and a special Simpson’s treat:

A Crucial Man At Two Junctures

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If you’re ever in doubt as to the need for term limits, and a return to the Founders idea that citizens should serve in government as servants, and then return to their real jobs, I present Joe Biden as the clear answer you seek.

Biden, who’s been around government longer than most Americans have been alive (both by median and average age) was involved in the final collapse of South Vietnam. He has blundered about for the last 47 years and managed to stay in power long enough to see another nation tank, this time under his complete and utter lack of leadership.

Now, for those of you about to run off to Snopes, or any other leftist source, and prove me wrong, Joe has always been gutless enough to waffle about his true intentions unless he was putting black men into prison. He did not vote against aid to South Vietnam, but he did oppose it, and along with the other clowns in the Senate, he contributed to the blocking of the legislation that would have, among other things, allowed for the United States to aid South Vietnamese in escaping the communists at the end of the war.

This time, in conjunction with the plutocrats and doorknobs in charge of foreign policy, and the Pentagon, they have missed the opportunity to evacuate the people in Afghanistan who fought on our side. Mind you, we brought 210,000 illegal immigrants into the country across the southern border last month, but it was evidently way too hard to bring about 125,000 people under a certain sentence of death out of Afghanistan.

For those of you unfamiliar with how this will go, I can give you a broad picture to use as a template. Pol Pot in Cambodia, and the evil people involved in the North Vietnamese regime, managed to enslave and/or murder over 2,000,000 people in the first 5 years after the war ended in Southeast Asia. Reeducation camps, rape, shootings, starvation, and torture were routine and applied liberally (choice of words intended) to their enemies. 

This time around, there will be no reeducation camps. Nor will their be families left behind as members are killed. Nope. The Taliban have a habit of raping and murdering your family in front of you, enslaving the ones they want to continue to rape and torment, and then killing you in the most painful manner they can find. There will be no exceptions, and the deaths will be beyond belief in numbers and violence. If you were our friend, your entire family is doomed. If you were in a small village, probably the whole village will be wiped out. That’s how this will play out. 

We, the United States Military, left behind a considerable quantity of weapons, ammunition, and equipment. I doubt that we will send Tomahawks and B-52 strikes with cluster munitions to destroy it. No, we will watch it be exploited for intelligence value by the Communist Chinese (the same lovable rascals who released a bio-engineered virus on the world last year) who have declared their support of the Taliban. Some of those items will be used directly against us down the road, some will be sold, and all will lose their secrets. A couple of days of air strikes against things, not people, could prevent this, and the fact is we really should have had special forces people blowing this stuff up as the government fell. But we didn’t.

And Joe has assured us this would never happen. Not 6 months ago, not a year ago, but 38 days ago. He lied about this as well. And then he ran away to Camp David where he’s eating ice cream and his handlers are trying to cover up his advanced dementia. There is a lot of lying going on in Washington for the last few decades. I’m willing to bet most people just accept it as the truth because “The government said so.”  Strangely, veterans I talk to are the least likely to accept that. Largely because we were obligated to follow orders blindly (*mostly*) during our service, but got to see behind the scenes stuff the average person didn’t. We, the collective we, were disposable. Some of us know the truth: and it isn’t what’s coming out of Washington. If they lie to us about something as obvious and checkable as the fall of Afghanistan, why wouldn’t they lie to us about a lot of other things we can never check?

So, here we are, 46 years after Saigon fell with the same clown-show political scum in power, many of whom are secretly gleeful that we “got ours.”

Me?  I had lunch with a friend who’s an Afghanistan vet today. He had a very distinct opinion about what is happening. Strangely, it sounds pretty much like what my friends fathers and older brothers said in 1975.

We have once again betrayed and hurt our veterans for political expediency. I cannot count their sacrifice as a loss, for they showed us what true love of country meant. Generally from the rank of E-1 to aboutt O-6.  Most in the general officer ranks had very little skin in the game and it was about politics.

But the men and women who came home in body bags, or with no left leg, or with nightmares and mental health problems related to the conflict deserved better. This withdrawal could have been handled much better and it wasn’t.

Importantly, we should never have tried building a democratic nation state there. It generally doesn’t work well in places like Afghanistan. What should have happened after 9/11 was an aerial blitz of all Al Qaeda camps, special forces turned loose with blood warrants, and an economic destruction of the place that would make salting the earth look like a gift. 

Yes, I know I’m a barbarian. But I’m a big believer of kicking your attacker in the crotch and hitting him in the head with a hammer just before you leave to have a beer down at the saloon. Hurt him so bad that he’s not going to bother you soon. But don’t stick around to lecture his family about how they should behave. Kill all the bad guys you can find and leave. Quickly. Leaving them wondering if you’ll come back and fearing that possibility.

I apologize to the Afghan patriots who worked with us, and to the Vietnamese who fought the communists on behalf of my nation. Hell, if the Dixie Chicks can apologize for us I can too. My statement is simple:

If you have to choose between working with us and surviving, our track record says go it without us.

I am ashamed of our government. We could have done so much better. And we should have.

 

What Are You Studying This Week?

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In teaching resilience to our students, we talk about growth being a beneficial thing for their well-being. Whether they are working on a skill related to being a First Responder, setting up skills for their second/third/final career, or just learning something cool, it’s all a plus for them.

This week I’m studying Spiritual Survival For Law Enforcement. I know the author, and he’s amazing. So is the book. I was familiar with the concepts in the book, but reading the source material is pretty cool.

 

 

I’m also studying making moonshine. I’m not making moonshine, but I am fascinated with the technical aspects of it, and how each moonshiner sets up a unique rig, blends the mash, cooking procedures, and what they keep of the run. It’s actually high-science and engineering on the top end, and just fun liquor on the whole spectrum. I love it.

I’m  working on my Arabic by trying to watch more videos and listen to more recordings in the language. My love of Israeli television grows all the time. Some of the stuff coming out of Arab nations is good, but the Israelis provide excellent bilingual (Arabic/Hebrew) shows that I love watching.

Did I mention that I spend a couple of hours a week reading up on new technology?

I’m often doing two of the above at the same time. I reserve exclusive time for Bible Study on Wednesday. I’m so far into the questionable areas of study that God gets that time all to Himself.

I know a couple of other people who are like me in this regard, with subjects as diverse as knitting, Alpaca farming, photography, you name it. Each of them is fun to talk to, and they have a healthy approach to life to boot.

I hope this week you’re starting something in your growth that expands your knowledge base. If you’re lacking in ideas, leave a comment: my wife will gladly give you a couple of mine.

I Have Other Neighbors.

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As I may have mentioned (beat the horse to death) I live in the free state of Florida. Now, for those of you still living in a blue-state hell, this means that at least 2/3 of the gates to people’s driveways have a sign that says, “BDLP Security (Barking Dog, Loud Pistol)” or “We don’t dial 911” or, perhaps, “The dog runs the 100 in 3.5 and the Smith & Wesson is faster, so I hope you’re really fast…”  Yes, these are people who really want to be left alone. 

Who are they?  They’re typical Americans of the old school. They are patriots, and want their rights respected. They don’t take kindly to thieves, or for that matter Federal Agents. I suspect the door-to-door vaccine canvas will skip these neighborhoods. Oh, and they’re all over the southern part of the country. 

My neighbors are a mix of school teachers, plumbers, electricians, cops, truck drivers, fire fighters, retired, and professional types in suit and tie offices. They come in all sorts of colors and backgrounds, and I don’t think anyone at all cares if they’re gay, straight, or have a thing for goats – as long is they keep it to their own goats. The point is they are a pretty good cross section of working America. 

Well, why am I talking about this?  Last Saturday we got a call from a neighbor I’d never met inviting us over for a barbecue. Cool! 

An hour later we met our neighbor across the street as she headed to the barbecue with the neighbor across the intersection. First new person. A few minutes later we met the host. 

Now, it’s important to remember that nobody really grew up here in the main. Yes, there are natives, but the majority of the population out in my area is refugees from Cuba and New York. And our host was a New Yorker from Queens. 

Italian as well. Man, are there a lot of Italians in this area, and not just because it’s called Naples. For the next three hours we ate chicken, Mozarella, salami, lemon bars, and margaritas. The food was great, the talk was good, and the chance to meet some new people was super. 

This morning, after not meeting these people over the last 5 months, I ran into two of them while out walking Chewy. The world gets a lot smaller when you get out in it and extend yourself.

I love this place. It’s hot as hell today, and humid. The media is telling everyone to stay inside and drink water. I’m on the lanai (expensive word for screened porch) working on the laptop and sweating. It feels great, and is what I always wanted to do for a living.

Yup. This is the life. I’m truly blessed.