Somewhere Between Jack London And Stephen King Today With A Chance of Ray Bradbury.

My feet are cold. My nose is cold. My dog is cold. Yes, Stormy is cold. I just went to take a picture of the Grim Reaper’s playground (my back yard) and she didn’t even get off the couch when the door opened. It’s too cold to entice even a Sheltie toward the door this morning. She’s saving up the barking for a warmer day.

Taken through the door - too cold to even open it for a photo.

Taken through the door – too cold to even open it for a photo.

Minnesota weather this winter is right out of the annals of fiction.

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I remember reading Jack London‘s books when I was a kid. Fascinated by the fact that the world I lived in wasn’t all that different than his stories of the remote wilderness where The Call of the Wild took place. Ray Bradbury transported me to Mars – cold and inhospitable. Stephen King can bring a scene like this to life as well. Yesterday was a magical Minnesota day – whiteout conditions at select locations within the city limits of Saint Paul. I was not surprised, but I was not pleased, to see the snow obscuring the road and other cars when the wind pummeled its way out of the alley ways and yards. Roofs were a popular source of misery as subzero snow was blown off of garages and down the collars of passersby.

It’s not just ugly and miserable, it’s dangerous. The homeless are in danger of death when it gets like this. If your car breaks down on the freeway you have 10 minutes outside before you risk frostbite. (Makes you rethink the whole concept of a light coat because it’s so darned warm in that car…) Kids are home today, school’s cancelled because of the cold. And the best part? Tomorrow is even colder.

I have places I have to go today. I’d much rather stay camped out in the living room with the immobile sheep dog. But life does go on. Perchance it will be a repeat of last week when the appointment was cancelled due to illness. This morning I suspect the odds are good that the cold will trump all. That would mean I’d be forced to work on a book instead of watching television in a waiting room. Not all that bad a trade.

I’d just like to put the rest of the state on notice that the first person who complains about how hot it is in July will be thrown to the ground and covered with dry ice. There is no reason to complain about our summer heat. It’s the only way we avoid having permafrost around this place.

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