Yet Another Dog Story

Today is one of the days where bloggers take a mini-break. I’m writing the blog for tomorrow but wanted to put up some stuff today to make sure that each of you have something to chew on while you’re not working at your desk. To my fellow authors: don’t you have a proposal due with your agent? To the hordes at their workplace: don’t get in trouble for surfing. For the leisure class: how do I get that gig?

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We’ve taken things really slow and easy with our rescue dog. Stormy was not ready to be thrown into the deep end of the pool when she arrived at our house. However, we’ve been swimming into deeper water every day since she arrived. Yesterday we ventured out into the dark place where drugs were abused. Yes, we tried Frosty Paws.

For those of you unfamiliar with Frosty Paws

Canine Crack

Canine Crack

it is either an opiate or a crack analog. It produces euphoria and instant addiction, so perhaps it’s more like canine methamphetamine. Whatever it is, every dog I’ve ever met is instantly hooked. They learn the name of the stuff in one day. You are forever doomed to be silent or produce a container for consumption when the name is mentioned.

Here is the video of her first encounter with the product. Below the fold you will find a funny story. I think it’s funny. One of my dogs found it to be cruel. You be the judge. (Lighten up, Francis – the dog was not mistreated!)

Many years ago we had an Old English Sheepdog named Nigel. He was as addicted to Frosty Paws as I am to donuts – it was serious. On one of my more evil days I was at the grocery store and ran across a large bag of individual serve ice cream treats from the fine people at Kemps. I no longer see the product on their website, but suffice it to say that it was packaged exactly like a Frosty Paws. There were 12 of them in a plastic net bag, and I immediately knew that I needed to purchase them solely to annoy the dog.

Every time you opened the freezer he’d be right there asking for a Frosty Paws. He was incorrigible. And at 100+ pounds he was a big fellow (way outside of breed standard. He weighed 90 pounds with his ribs sticking out!) And when he pushed his way up to the fridge to check for his treat it could be quite annoying.

One sunny day I went to the freezer and waited for him to arrive. I pulled one of the human ice creams out of the freezer and proceeded to eat it in front of him. Frantic, angry, loud, mewling, baying, barking, spinning, seriously nuts are just a few of the things that come to mind in remembering his performance. THAT HUMAN IS EATING MY FROSTY PAWS. I MUST STOP THIS AT ALL COSTS.

He didn’t maul me, but it was clearly on his mind that day. What started out as a joke became unbearable cruelty in under a minute. I set my ice cream on the counter and got him a Frosty Paws. The moment he was distracted I rinsed my treat down the sink. As he ate his treat I pondered the problem: I had eleven left.

So, I called a friend with small children and told them I had free ice cream. I’d be over in a few minutes with a string bag missing only one container. I couldn’t bear the anguished look on Nigel’s face when he saw me eating his Frosty Paws.

That’s true brand loyalty.

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