I Love My Theatrical Agents

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I think it’s safe to say you hear members of the literary, acting, singing, and general performing communities complain about their agents on occasion. Frequently it’s done so that you can know that they have an agent and are obviously far more important than you are. Not that I’ve ever done that…

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But in writing this today I’m thankful for my agents. Several weeks ago I asked God to help me out financing a mission work. He, working through my agents, dropped more opportunities on me in the past weeks than I’d imagined possible.

Best part of it all is that they all treat me well. It makes sense: I get jobs, they get money.

I was sitting in the lobby of a casting agent waiting for an audition when a theatrical agent called me about a job we’d discussed. I told her where I was, and what I was auditioning for in ten minutes. “Yeah, we wanted to send you but they (another agency) got there first. You’d be good in that role. Let me call the customer and try to lock this down.”

Ten minutes, three phone calls, confirmed booking for two full days of work. For those of you that aren’t actors, that’s like striking oil in your back yard. Nice paycheck, two days of work in one location, one wardrobe, etc. They put me up in hotels for a couple of days, and we shoot overnight in a store when it’s closed. Very nice. Blessed. Paid for the mission project in one booking.

Back to the audition – after my usual bout of serious overacting, the director got me settled down and got a good take. Either that or she was sick of me and said it was good enough. She’s a kind soul who makes every actor feel valued, so I’ll never know. But she was willing to take a risk on my availability and let me audition. You see, the job I booked in her lobby conflicted with the one I was auditioning for that day.

Here’s how that works: If I’m the only one they want, they’ll shoot around me. If someone else meets their needs, they won’t use me. But to be given the chance, and take me into audition when it might not happen, is a blessing of kindness. I really appreciate that, Lynn. You know who you are and you’re always fun to perform for in my own bumbling way.

The agent that sent me? Totally cool with the fact that I may not get the job due to another booking. Yes, it’s money out of her pocket if it happens. But when you only book 5% of what you audition for (I’m an acquired taste, trust me) you roll the dice every time you send me out with my head shot and resume. Most agents are actors and models themselves, and they understand that if you get a job offer you grab it fast. Nothing is a “gimme” in this business, and they are rooting for their people even if they aren’t going to make a buck on it.

That’s why I’m blessed. There were two other agents working on finding me work at the same time the first two were getting me in the door. All four treat me well. I’m always amazed that they keep coming back to me.

I know that they don’t have to do that kindness. But I sure appreciate the love and concern they show me in keeping me on the list of active people.

Today, and tomorrow, I will be thankful for those good people who are looking out for my acting life.

Many thanks go up for all of them.

Oh, the mission project? We’re making Christmas gift packages for the homeless. Yeah, baby – it’s what He wants. And that’s what it’s all about.

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I appreciate your help. When we hit 2,000,000 readers I will give away something cool to a drawing from the subscribers (that’s the box on the right toward the top) who have helped promote this mess. No used sheets, probably not honey, more likely gift cards. Be a part of it. I’ll update from time to time where we’re at in the count. Thanks.

Santa Has Some Fun

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This time of year I have an event every few days. Sometimes there are 4 or 5 in a day. That’s a lot of time in front of the camera, and a good photographer makes that time pass quickly. You learn all about each other in those hours waiting for the next child to appear in the doorway.

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This past weekend I was blessed to have Stephanie of Clix as my photographer. She took several shots during the day without children, but the last one of the day was the one I really wanted. Clix graciously gave me permission to use this copyrighted image in my media. I appreciate it, and needed to let you know that they didn’t charge me for the picture. Something about integrity and all of that… Yes, this is a bald-faced endorsement of them and their services. Call them at 763-657-0239 or visit their website to set up your photo session.

The point is, I have worked with them for several years at different Santa shoots, and they have been fun and professional every time. If you need family pictures, sports team pictures, and children’s portraits done in the northwest metro area of the Twin Cities, you should give them a ring. I now present you with the picture in question:

Too many episodes of Seinfeld.

Too many episodes of Seinfeld.

If you were wondering about the inspiration, here’s the link:

Yeah, George and I have more than a little in common.

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I have a favor to ask of my readers: would you kindly share this blog with your friends, family, and colleagues? We hit a million views in 2014, and while the readership continues a nice growth trend, it could be a lot better. Just hit the Facebook like button, share it on your timeline, tweet the blog with a link, and tell that person at the next desk that there’s this lunatic who writes about all sorts of stuff that they might like.

I appreciate your help. When we hit 2,000,000 readers I will give away something cool to a drawing from the subscribers (that’s the box on the right toward the top) who have helped promote this mess. No used sheets, probably not honey, more likely gift cards. Be a part of it. I’ll update from time to time where we’re at in the count. Thanks.

Santa’s Nose: An Observational Piece From “The Chair”

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One of the greatest gifts of being Santa is the opportunity to observe people for hours at a time without being a stalker: they come to you. And want pictures of you. As a result, you see a lot of different types, and experience a lot of different smells.

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The nose knows.

The nose knows.

Sometimes, like in the picture above, it’s the smell of wine, baklava, small children, leather, perfume, and dear friends. With a little cigarette smoke clinging to clothing in the winter air dragged into the room as well.

Other times it’s the smell of quiet desperation when mom asks you to pray for her little boy. Her words, “The cancer came back four weeks ago” sent a shock through my heart and caused my nose to run as the tears stung my eyes. The freshly washed hair of that little fellow no longer rang in my nostrils, but was replaced by a downcast scent that I hoped was not doom.

The fragrant aroma of dryer sheets and mothballs is a frequent one, as people pull the very best sweaters out of the closet for that special picture, and make sure that their Disney Princess clad daughter has a freshly laundered ball gown to wear for the day.

A young man with cookie crumbs on his lips, and a light coating of sweat on his forehead from the frustration of autism, and a noisy room, is vibrant to the nostrils. It vanishes as you extend a white-gloved hand to calm the tremors and it is accepted, and gently held, as he communicates his thoughts to Santa. If only you could hold that hand forever and ease the pain he knows in his every minute.

Cookies, peppermint, and chocolate wander into the nose every few minutes: these are the staples of Christmas.

Curry, peppers, and soy sauce are delightful additions to the mix. Often clinging to the clothing of a mother as she brings her little ones for the photo, sometimes coming right from her pores as she’s worked up a sweat herding small children to the chair. The history of vast continents comes forth in the rich skin tones and dark hair of my guests, confirmed by coriander and mint on special days.

Other times it’s the Frito like scent of a dog’s paws as they climb up on Santa for the picture. Pet days are rare anymore, but each dog smells a little bit different from its friends, just like people.

Loaded diapers, nervous tingles of urine, and sour formula are the reminders that you’re holding one of God’s newest creations in the crook of your arms. Parents trust Santa not to drop their precious baby, and I’m determined never to fail in that task.

Garbage, floor wax, and automotive lubricants are part of the mix when working moms and dads bring their little ones to see Santa at the end of a Saturday work day. Hard working people who love their children and come right from their jobs are always welcome in my kingdom.

Tears and fright have their own smells. Sometimes it’s because Santa is 10 times their size and has a scratchy beard. Sometimes it’s because their son in the Rangers is leaving for a combat tour in some remote part of the world. Either way, comfort and prayers are the response to my olfactory intuition.

Home made bakery, lovingly wrapped in a napkin, or bit of foil, carries sugar and almonds to my nose – right before it’s secreted in my bag to be enjoyed later. The scents vary, but they include vanilla, mint, fruitcake, brandy, whiskey, honey, puff pastry, and almost any other scent associated with the gift of baked goods from your oven at home. Almost always delivered by a smiling child who has a gift for Santa. I love those gifts. They mean a lot to me.

Last of all, but still vital, the smell of contentment is unique. I don’t get that one quite as often as I’d like, but it’s the one that smiling people give off when the world is revolving in their direction that day. It’s the scent I hope to find and pray will be gifted to all who visit me.

I hope the next time we meet you are able to tickle my nose with the last scent. I wish and pray for you to be contented this day, and all the rest of your days.

Be blessed. I’ll be back later this week.

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I have a favor to ask of my readers: would you kindly share this blog with your friends, family, and colleagues? We hit a million views in 2014, and while the readership continues a nice growth trend, it could be a lot better. Just hit the Facebook like button, share it on your timeline, tweet the blog with a link, and tell that person at the next desk that there’s this lunatic who writes about all sorts of stuff that they might like.

I appreciate your help. When we hit 2,000,000 readers I will give away something cool to a drawing from the subscribers (that’s the box on the right toward the top) who have helped promote this mess. No used sheets, probably not honey, more likely gift cards. Be a part of it. I’ll update from time to time where we’re at in the count. Thanks.

It’s Official: I Am Now A Professional Writer.

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If, by professional, you mean that your story is featured on the cover of a real magazine and you got paid to write it.

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titaniumreindeer

Yes, the fine people of SPLICKETY chose my work, TITANIUM REINDEER for the December “Merry Everything” issue. SPLICKETY PRIME is a flash fiction magazine – everything is 1000 words or less. It forces writers to get to the story without the usual padding. My story is about – well, about 600 words. If you want to know what the story says, you need to buy the copy either digitally, or in print. Here’s the link to the Kindle version. Yup, for realsies. I got paid, and they asked me not to give it away free. Seems like a fair deal!

I hope you all enjoy it. This is the first writing gig I’ve been paid for, and there is a lot more to come in the next few weeks. Yes, Virginia, there really is a publisher for Santa.

I’ll be back tomorrow with more of my usual drivel, but for now, go hit those links and find out what TITANIUM REINDEER is all about. (It’s not for the little ones, so don’t download it on your Leapfrog device. Please!

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I have a favor to ask of my readers: would you kindly share this blog with your friends, family, and colleagues? We hit a million views in 2014, and while the readership continues a nice growth trend, it could be a lot better. Just hit the Facebook like button, share it on your timeline, tweet the blog with a link, and tell that person at the next desk that there’s this lunatic who writes about all sorts of stuff that they might like.

I appreciate your help. When we hit 2,000,000 readers I will give away something cool to a drawing from the subscribers (that’s the box on the right toward the top) who have helped promote this mess. No used sheets, probably not honey, more likely gift cards. Be a part of it. I’ll update from time to time where we’re at in the count. Thanks.

The 2015 Scheels Christmas Commercial – Starring ME!

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This was fun to shoot. It’s always amazing to see what doesn’t make it to the final version. I’m rather hoping the other footage gets used as well – it was all well shot.

I want to thank Media Productions of Fargo, N.U.T.S. who were my agents for this shoot, and the gracious people of Scheels. This commercial was just plain joy to work on that night.

I’m still stunned that 10 hours of work condenses to 30 seconds. But I know for sure that Santa will be back at Scheels to shop next time he’s near one – great place, great people.

Now, here’s the link to the video and the video itself: