The Gospel Of John: Chapter 1

At Christmas, one of my favorite times, I did a series of video narrations of the Gospel of Luke on this blog. Luke tells of the birth of the Christ better than the other gospels. His focus is on the origin and presentation of Jesus in the world. He goes on to tell the tale of his life, but his gospel is the best for the birth.

Now, in the Easter season, I am presenting the Gospel of John. John tells the story of resurrection better than the others, and so it is logical to present his version of Christ as the focus is on the miracles, teaching, death, and resurrection of Jesus. 

So, without further ado, the Gospel of John: Chapter 1.

I appreciate your coming to visit. I truly do. I ask but small favors:

First, pray for me. I am always in need of prayer.

If you like reading, I have three books I’ve written/edited/contributed to that are in need of purchase: ASSAULT ON SAINT AGNES, NICHOLAS OF HAITI, THE COVID QUARANTINE CANTINA.

If you like the way this series sounds, I have a bunch of audio books available for purchase. They cover a wide range of topics. Some Christian, some very secular, most military thrillers, including the highly regarded DARK TRANSIT by Michael DiMercurio. The language and stories are not always “G” rated, but they are some darned fine reads. You will find them at this link: Audible Works by Joseph Courtemanche.

Finally, look around the last few years of the blog and read some of the posts. If you like them, share them with others. 

See you tomorrow.

A Day At The Swamp

Her pink beer coozie matched the hint of a thong that optimistically peeked above the waist of her faded and fashionably torn skin tight jeans. The spotless white T-shirt was bunched up and tied in a knot above her belly-button which was appropriately located in her parlor-tanned and firm abdomen. There was just a hint of muffin-top at the  jeans, but it was the sort of thing that some men considered almost Rubenesque. 

The blonde hair was probably from a bottle of some sort. Not quite platinum, but more than white-yellow: it was flawless down to one millimeter from the scalp. No doubt done three days prior to the Saturday race, most likely after work on Wednesday when her ex had the kids for the evening at the bowling alley. 

Menthol cigarettes carried a tantalizing scent to the crowd behind her in the bleachers, and drew even more attention to her voluptuous curves. Some of the older men thought her to be a blonde Jessica Rabbit, and the teenage boys didn’t care who she looked like, she was the promise of everything that their hormone soaked bodies sought at this point in their lives. 

For the last 17 years she’d been working in the office of the auto-body shop, making out invoices and drawing salesmen like flies into her web. The boss loved her for her work, not her body, and he treasured the fact that she could get ten percent knocked off a drum of sealant where he was lucky to get it at wholesale. But outside of the office, the pigs in the shop bays talked trash about her virtue and her looks. She’d overheard them and it killed her inside that not one of them took the time to talk to her or even buy her a sandwich for lunch. She was just a thing to them. 

Her goal on this Saturday afternoon was to drive every male, and a couple of females, behind her in the stands to the edge of lust-driven madness. It was the only superpower she had, and she was going to wield it like a lightsaber tonight. Why not? She was lonely, and bored, and her ex had the kids until school on Monday. She wasn’t looking for a dance partner, but she still had to dance: this was the place to do that in Naples on a Saturday in March.

For the next four hours she danced, swilled light beer, and generally got hammered. She was a lightweight drinker, and didn’t view that as a problem because it was way cheaper to get a buzz on. She thought a lot about her wasted years in college, where the predators had finally given up on her when they found out she was waiting until marriage. 

She did. She loved her ex to this day, but he loved a lot of other women. The only reason he had joint custody was he was filthy with money and took good care of the kids. He even paid her enough alimony to make her life easier financially. But she ached for the loss of that family dream she’d always nurtured. 

Around six that evening the light beer bottles had stacked up next to her but wouldn’t quite make a pyramid. She switched to her preferred poison, and got up, shook all the moving parts for the crowd, and hopped down two steps to the sidewalk that led to the concession stand. 

She returned with a corn-dog and a funnel cake. And two more lights. Her performance with the corn dog was x-rated, and frankly out of character for her, but tonight she was throwing caution to the wind. Once the stick was clean and clear of any particles that contained a calorie, she dove into the funnel cake with gusto.

Six minutes later she licked her fingers clean, rinsed them with a little beer, and hugged herself. The clouds had thickened and the rain looked like it was coming back. It was definitely colder out judging by the stares of two teenagers to her right.

She donned her rhine-stone-studded jean jacket to stay warm, and the stretching and twisting to get that body-suit-tight item on grabbed the rest of the men’s attention. A little sigh of sadness went up into the night as the jacket was buttoned over her exquisite midriff.

She sat back down on her bleacher seat, and killed the last two beers over the next hour. The races whimpered to an end, and as the crowd filed out, her hopes for glory went with them. 

She’d have to be content with being the biggest memory of the swampbuggy races for those folks in her seating section, for her heart was empty. She shuffled out to her faded blue SUV and drove home, keeping to the side streets to avoid the police. 

After entering the house, she grabbed a cola from the fridge, and called her momma. Another Saturday night alone in what seemed like an endless string.

5000

This past week was just plain fun. My friend, and former coworker for many years on the overnight shift, came to vacation with us for a week. 

We went to rodeos, swamp buggy races, and made 110 jars of grapefruit marmalade.

 

 

 

 

In addition, I managed to complete another audio book which will be released next week – Amazon willing.

And, finally, this past week I sold my 5000th audio book. Now, even I know the sales largely are based on the author, but my portfolio is getting diverse and new things come along all the time.

I would especially like to thank David Wilson at Crossroad Press and Michael DiMercurio for allowing me to narrate the vast majority of those books I’ve sold. It is an honor and a privilege to record for such fine people. 

 

Just Another Day At The Bar: A Little Almost Flash Fiction

This will be good. I promise. It had better be, as I had it almost finished last time and then WordPress barfed all over itself and deleted everything but the title. So, with ABBA Metal Covers playing in my headphones, I will try to catch that lightning in the bottle again. 

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Dr. Shalmut Teller’s phone rang just as the hour was ending with his patient. The patient, a laborious windbag of the first order turned their head when the phone buzzed in his pocket, but said nothing. Perhaps in hopes of talking another ten minutes on the Doctor’s nickel, versus paying for the time. No game, as the Doctor stood, straightened his coat in a perfect Picard maneuver, and handed him a tissue as he left the room.

Looking at the message on the screen, Shalmut frowned. Again. Trudy was on the loose and the tracking software he’d installed on her cell phone was alerting him to the fact that she’d remained outside of one of seven locations for longer than eight minutes. Why eight minutes? He’d calculated that eight minutes was long enough for her to park within the two block trigger radius and walk to the bar. 

More than angry, he was simply sad. The seven locations were the spots where she’d been involved in violent incidents over the last five years. There were a few others, but Trudy was a creature of habit and usually went to the same places out of ease of transit. 

It hadn’t always been like this. Once, when they were young and he was in his first year of med school, they’d fallen in love at the university. She’d been waiting tables while working on her MFA and he’d been drinking coffee and studying inorganic chemistry. 

Trudy was smoking hot in his opinion. She’d gone to college on a full scholarship for weightlifting, and while she was strong as a bull she was feminine and charming. Her muscles were well proportioned, and her frame was ideal for power lifting. She was also brilliant, and after graduation she was a full-time writer for several travel magazines. It was creative writing at its best, because she made up most of the stories with never having visited the locations. 

That had all changed six years ago when the attack in the garage took place. Trudy had been parked in a ramp downtown, and as she got in her car some thug brained her with a baseball bat. It was a miracle that she’d survived, and even more of a testament to her strength that she worked through all the therapy and regained her speech and motor skills. 

But the cost was an unpredictable one: she became an alcoholic after a life of barely touching the stuff. The problem was that with the remnant of the brain damage from the attack, her control centers were almost gone. One drink quickly became half-a-bottle, and after the first few drinks she became mean. Very mean.

On more than one occasion he’d been beaten badly by the woman he loved but couldn’t turn his back on. She’d eventually pass out, but he’d lost four teeth and suffered a number of broken bones over the past few years. He never reported it to the police, and when people asked him about his injuries he claimed a streak of bad bicycle accidents. Not one person believed him. 

The worst part was the expense of other’s injuries. He was able to cover most of her damage to the bars where she started fights, and fortunately (or unfortunately) she usually picked opponents who were larger and less drunk than she was. Consequently, they largely laughed her off and held her at bay: it was hard to punch a beautiful woman out.

But the problem of the law had reared it’s head when she punched an undercover cop so viciously that he needed medical treatment. She spent a weekend in jail, and Shalmut had left her there instead of bailing her out. His hope was that she’d awaken to the problem and curb her drinking. 

That was a vain hope, and he had paid off so many cops and bartenders over a short time that he sought a different solution.

Being a Doctor had some pluses, primarily the ability to prescribe medication. Trudy was a day drinker, and he figured if he could get the day shift bartenders in her favorite places to help out he could manage her.

His plan was simple: find out where she was, call the bar, and confirm her presence. If it was one of his tame bartenders (who were all on a handsome retainer) he would go to the secure identification feature on his phone and give the bartender a one-time code that was good for exactly one minute. 

This allowed the bartender to get to the office of the bar, punch in the code in the lockbox installed there, and gain access to a single dose of liquid Benzodiazepine that was kept in the box. Just large enough to slow her down to be collected, not large enough to cause her to pass out. More of a zombie impact than anything else. 

His call to Gabe’s Emporium met with success. He was already in the car and headed there when the bartender asked for the code. Once he had served her the drink, he hung up the phone and the clock was ticking.

Shalmut arrived just as she slumped on the bar. He handed over a pair of crisp Benjamins and collected his wife. She walked herself to the car and fell asleep in the passenger seat as he took her home. She’d sleep for the next few hours. 

Shalmut was relieved that trouble had been avoided, but this was not a long term solution. Neither were the tears he shed as he sat in his home office seeking something to help. 

And he prayed. For the first time in years, he prayed. 

Hopefully God was listening.

 

Interesting Times

I’m sitting in my office on a relatively cool day in Southwest Florida: 78 degrees with some clouds. It’s beautiful.

I’ve been a busy boy lately, and apologize for hiding in the basement like I was a presidential candidate. Not that I have a basement here, because I live in the Everglades. But you get my drift.

The last two days were spent at my church replacing ceiling fans. For those of you who do not live in hot climates, or who have air conditioning and have never had the joy of NEEDING a fan, they come in all shapes and sizes. I’ve got six in my house, running from 52 to 72 inches. Some are three speed, some are remote controlled with infinite speed range (it looks like a Kamov-25 when it goes to top speed) some are easy to install, others require me to grow hair to rip out.

The church install was a team effort with my friend Brian. After a few minutes of deep thought, we figured out a system and went to work. He preassembled the fans to the point where they’d go up the ladder easily, and I went around the church taking down the old ones. The old ones weighed in at 1.5 tons each, so it was a challenge. I’d prep the monster, Brian would come to take the beast after I detached it, and then I’d continue to remove the old base parts. 

We even managed to replace one at the apex of the ceiling over the altar with no bad words, no injuries, and the two of us not falling off ladders. God was definitely involved.

But that’s not even the big thing I’ve been doing: I finished another audio book this week. I had started it before my wife’s gallbladder exploded in a subatomic blast, life went in the tank with the flu, and all the other interruptions that were life. My original goal was to be done by Christmas. But I managed to finish it before Ash Wednesday, so that’s pretty good. 

I’ll announce the title after she trumpets the news to her readers: don’t want to steal the thunder. It should be on sale around the 20th of March if ACX/Audible are up to speed. Title and cover art will be announced once I have a date.

Now, out to water the trees. My time for not thinking too hard each day.

 

I hope you have a blessed day. 

[Ed: actual fan weight may have been a completely made up number.]