I finished up a little bit of time with Stormy in the yard this morning laughing my way back to the computer. My dog is a raster scanner.
For those of you not familiar with military radars there are two kinds you most commonly deal with: search and targeting. (Yeah, I know – lots more kinds, but let’s keep it simple. I don’t have to turn in my geek card yet, just trying to make a point.)
Search radars are the ones you see in the movies that spin around slowly and take in the big picture. Targeting radars move much more quickly and scan a small area where the search radar has indicated a target.
Stormy is a raster scanner most of the time. This morning she found several targets of interest (mainly squirrels) and then stood on the sidewalk raster scanning them. Honest, if she had weapons to go with that look of hers there would be no life further than 8 feet above the ground. Squirrels, airplanes, birds, even power lines all annoy the snot out of her. She’d vaporize all of them if she had a chance. I think it might look something like this video if you put a gun barrel on her and let her load up with ammo:
She’s practicing her annoyed breathing right now – I guess I better wrap this up and head back out with her. Probably some evil sparrow that needs watching.
Christian authors have a hard time getting the press they need to promote their books. I recently joined a number of other authors in pledging support in this realm. This offer means that we “cross blog” and exchange interviews when book releases come around. I get to inflict myself on Karla’s readers down the road when I get published.
I met Karla at the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference this past year. I’ve been saving this interview since then because I wanted to kick it out when her book was released. That takes place tomorrow. If you’d like to purchase The Pastor’s Wife Wears Biker Boots it’s available now on Amazon.com. Head on over and get a copy today.
The Pastor’s Wife Wears Biker Boots
Where do you write?
I’d like to say I write in a neatly organized office, and I may do that someday, but right now my office is filled with hundreds of books from my teaching years. Now that I’m sure I like reading digitally on my iPad, I’m arranging to give many of them away. For now, I usually write from my comfy chair in the living room in the middle of the chaos. I’m pretty good at tuning noise out or I use my headphones.
What is your process?
I usually start with an idea that has to do with a unique or unsuspecting character in an unusual situation. And I may write a little synopsis or just start writing and then brainstorm on paper. I always keep a notebook with me so I can write down ideas or work on chapters. I have limited time to write, so I do it every chance I get.
Describe your book.
A pastor’s wife decides to learn to ride a motorcycle and when she does, she creates all kinds of hilarious drama between the women she recruits to ride with her and the church board.
Why should readers pick it up?
If they’ve ever been involved in church leadership or like a good laugh about women aged 40+ doing crazy things, I think they’ll enjoy the adventure. Kirstie, the pastor’s wife, also has an autistic son, and two boys who are just regular kids with their own dramas. Kirstie is a homeschool Mom, too. Homeschooling and autism are two causes dear to my heart.
How did your book come to life?
I learned to ride a motorcycle at the tender age of 47. And so many funny things happened to me, I thought the same concept would make a good book. I also wanted to give a little insight into what it’s like being a pastor’s family, what it’s like to live with autism, and how it feels to go through some of the things Kirstie goes through.
Who is your favorite character in the book and why?
This is a tough one! There are many quirky characters in the book. Of course Kirstie is my first favorite because she’s a pastor’s wife like me. I guess my second favorites would be Opal and Atticus. Opal is someone in her 60s who’s never married and scared of her own shadow. You’ll have to read the book to find out who Atticus is.
Karla Akins
How did you name your characters?
I did web searches for popular names of the year they were born on baby name sites.
Are the characters based on people you know?
There may be some character qualities that are like people I know, but I didn’t base the character on an individual but more on a single type of person.
Why will readers enjoy your book?
If they like reading about how people relate to one another in hilarious and unexpected ways, they’ll love it.
Is anything in the book based on your own life?
The fact that I’m a pastor’s wife who rides a motorcycle, of course, is something like me, but Kirstie isn’t like me at all. She has a lot more energy! Ironically, when I wrote the book, a couple of things that are in the book did happen to me later. I write about Alzheimer’s and had no idea at the time that my mother-in-law with Alzheimer’s would come to live with us. I write about the preacher’s son’s trouble with the law, and had no idea we, too, would be experiencing some of the same heartbreak. You can read about that on my Prison Ministry page on my website. It’s almost as if the Lord was preparing me well for what we were to go through. Sort of a foreshadowing. God is so good that way.
What is your favorite scene in the book?
Oh my goodness, that’s so hard because there are so many that I love. I love the scene with the pastor’s family’s pet bull mastiff when he interrupts a church meeting after a swim in the pond. I also love the part where the women get locked in a Harley Davidson dealership after hours. But perhaps the best part is when they all go to jail. Then again there is that love scene…
Why Christian fiction?
I was a voracious reader as a child. I read anything I could get my hands on and I was blessed to have a mother and father who loved to read. From the time I was small my mother read to us out of the classics. By the time I was in 5th grade I’d read classics such as David Copperfield, Treasure Island, and The Yearling. I also read all those Reader’s Digest condensed books my parents got every month. Every one of them. But in Jr. High or High School, I read the book, Christy, by Catherine Marshall. That book impressed me so much that I felt the call into what our little church called “full time Christian service.” I knew I would serve Jesus with my life and that included my writing. I could never compare myself to Catherine Marshall, but I do hope that my books will touch people’s hearts and draw them closer to God the way that book and other Christian books did and still do. I write hoping that someone will draw closer to God.
The time has come to clear up an issue that has dogged my writing here of late: my feelings on government.
It is my firm belief that the founders of this country would be appalled by the level of surveillance and intrusion that our government (local, state, and federal) employs against its own people.
I refer to domestic surveillance. Frankly, we can’t snoop and spy enough on anyone outside our borders. The more the merrier. But then keep your mouth shut about the results. Quit bragging about what a great job we’re doing in reading other people’s mail. They call it covert for a reason. Let’s keep it that way.
Inside our borders The Constitution prohibits searches without warrants. It’s that simple. Gathering data for future use and then going retro on the use of that data is not constitutional. Period.
I do not dislike cops, NSA employees, CIA employees, or any of the other government workers who keep people safe. I do resent the nonsense that we need to give all of the above the keys to our houses and invite unlawful search in the hopes that it will keep us “safer” if such a thing is even logical.
I’ve been a member of some of the above tribes in my lifetime. Proud of the work I did, proud of the people I worked with back then. I know that 99% of the people doing those jobs are great people today. The problem is the way they are being used and directed from above by politicians.
It is a very thin line that separates tyranny and freedom. Evil, and the pursuit of power for the sake of power, go hand in hand. Some will always crave that control over others for all the wrong reasons. We must at all times observe that line and not cross it willingly. If we see that we’ve stepped across it we’d better hop back and darken the line so we can see it more clearly the next time around. I fear we have crossed the line on a daily basis of late. Let’s hop back, get out the paint brush, and darken the line.
That quote came from Jay Carney today as the White House continued its strategic campaign of leaks that damage national security (I may have misheard part of that, but it’s close). Today’s whopper, designed to show just how wonderful the National Security Agency is, and how they should be unfettered so that they can spy on us a bit more, is that they nailed down a conversation between Iman Zawahari and his pet monkey in Yemen.
This is part of the “Boy, we couldn’t do much in Benghazi but we sure learned some lessons and now we’re right on top of it” campaign that the White House has launched.
Two little problems with that whole scenario:
1. When you tell the world what a great job you did intercepting a specific conversation between two named individuals you kind of blow that as a resource for the next time around. Millions down the drain, source blown, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid. The same thing as when Kid Kourage ran out to the stage and said, “I killed Osama! Ain’t that cool?” just hours after the raid. I’m sure there are still analysts who would like to strangle him for blowing that potential gold mine all to Hades and back.
2. Closing our embassies until the end of Ramadan sends a very clear signal to the swine (yeah, picked that term on purpose) in the terrorist world: You can scare us into running away. We are afraid of you. (This is truly a formidable thing to do on the heels of Benghazi where we just let our people die and we’ve not yet scooped up the culprits.)
I defy anyone with knowledge of SIGINT or the Arab world to tell me anything but that this is a totally failed administration in foreign policy. Any random 50 people from the first half of the Saint Paul phone book could do a better job.
I’m just disgusted with the whole mob. The cowards across the aisle on the Republican side of the house are almost as big a waste of space. They should be baying at the moon over this stuff, but they’re afraid they’ll look partisan.
Guys – that’s what the “Loyal Opposition” is supposed to do in this case.
Cinnamon Roll French Toast at the Daily Diner Frogtown. We needed something positive here.
to go on a killing spree at my church. I spent some quality time with my weapons this morning and made sure they were in good working order. Put together a package of reloads and I’m wearing the kind of comfortable clothes that you’d pick for your last hours on the planet.
Before you call the police, it’s weeds we’re exterminating. And dogged if I’m wearing a suit to spray Roundup.
But that initial paragraph probably has some people fanning themselves with the vapors. Good. It was an experiment in writing. Christian writing. Let me explain.
Many of the books you think of as Christian literature are probably the ones with cute Amish girls on the cover. Or, perhaps a time out of time novel about Elizabethan England. Have you taken a look at what some of the best authors on the market are writing? People like Janice Cantore and James Rubart? (He’s a good friend of my partner Larry W. Timm) Gritty stuff with tons of action and real plots. Not that the historicals don’t have plots, but mass murder and serial killers are more the work of Alton Gansky than – well, no names. I have friends that write those books and this is not meant to be an insult.
The Christian fiction world has room for everyone, including writers of Steampunk and Alternative History. The entire literary scene is there including zombies, werewolves, and vampires. But not the cute kind you get in the secular world. If you want a book that challenges your perception of Christian fiction and gets you moving you can find it if you do a little bit of looking.
My opening paragraph sounded bloody and violent. But that’s because you filled in the blanks.I was always talking about spraying weeds. At a church. But what happens when I get there and the Deacon is dead in the parking lot? What if the Pastor is covered in blood and doesn’t remember where he’s been since service let out on Sunday? What if a troop of Jihadist scum are planting a bomb under the choir stands when I show up?
That’s what modern Christian literature is about – life. Action. Excitement.
Get out of your rut today and go to the internet for a search on contemporary Christian fiction. Find something with a Christian world view that trips your hammer.
I’ll be out spraying weeds. But when I get home, there’s a book about flamethrowers and a Baptist church that needs further editing.
