Interesting Times, Indeed.

There’s a rant building in my bones over the Middle East, Bowe Berghdahl, and the nonsense in Washington in general. But that will have to wait, for today we have a variety of stellar videos to present. You, dear reader, must figure out the pattern here and submit it via the comments section. If you figure it out there’s a prize waiting for you. A nice prize. Not the usual used sheets kind of prize this blog is famous for, but something you’d actually like. With that in mind, observe and reply in the comments. I’ll pick one at random. (Random being defined as strictly by my whim. If only one of you responds, you’re the automatic winner. If more than one responds, it will go to a reader who hasn’t won anything yet. If none of you have won a prize before, I will let Stormy pick. She’s truly random.)

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ABBA: Dancing Queen

Barry Gibb: Carried Away

The Cranberries: Dreams

Destiny’s Child: Say My Name

Got it? Now, off to the comments.

Dancing With Jesus.

For several years my local Christian radio station, KTIS, has held an outdoor concert in June. It’s called Joyful Noise Family Fest, and it’s name says it all. In full disclosure, I’m friends with several of the people at the station, and have traveled on mission trips with them in the past. I hold them all in high esteem. That also allows me some backstage access on occasion. I like that – not because I need my picture taken with the acts, but it is nice to chat a bit with them and find out who they are off stage. Which leads me to this picture, and what it means.

Love, and a little bit of rain, is in the air at Joyful Noise Family Fest.

Love, and a little bit of rain, is in the air at Joyful Noise Family Fest.

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I’ve met a few famous people over the years. Some were cool, some were drooling idiots. But all of the Christian artists I’ve had the pleasure to talk to have been sincere and kind. We had the chance to talk with a few of the acts this last weekend, and the topic wasn’t the latest album, the stage they were about to hit, or the clothes and jewelry they were wearing. Nope. Instead we had a really deep talk (within time limits) about the orphanage the band has in Haiti and how much that mission means to them. Kind of surprising, eh?

That level of love, and dedication to Christ, comes across in the music modern Christian acts bring to the radio and the stage.

Mandisa and my wife (I'm the doofus on the left.)

Mandisa and my wife (I’m the doofus on the left.)

Whether it’s Mandisa singing about overcoming obstacles, or Steven Curtis Chapman preaching a bit between songs, the event revolves around our shared values and love of God. The music, if you listen carefully, is often a passage of scripture set to music. It’s sometimes a thought provoking item that makes you dig a little deeper in your faith. Most likely it’s a bit of joy and reflection about what our lives mean in the great scheme of things.

Most of all, modern Christian music, and events like Joyful Noise Family Fest, are opportunities for people of faith to enjoy each other’s company and worship. I can honestly say that I spent 4 hours at church on Friday and 6 hours on Saturday. It just happened to be outdoors with music. And a tamale wagon. Lots of tamales. The couple in the photo at the top of the blog didn’t know that I was taking the picture. I asked them for permission to use it when they finished dancing. They weren’t alone in dancing to the music. It does something to your soul to be with 10,000 of your fellow Christians and surrounded by voices lifted in praise. I sat in my chair and loved every minute of it – even the rain. (Yes, that is a trash bag covering my torso – tactical field expedient rain gear.)

Field Expedient Rain Gear

Field Expedient Rain Gear

I would like to thank the staff of KTIS, especially my friends Rich, Julene, and Jason for their kindness over the years.Finest kinds of folks.

I look forward to the next concert/event. It fills my soul with joy and love of Jesus each time. Good stuff. Needed in this world.

Now, where did I put my dancing shoes?

There’s A Little Spot On My Heart That Glows Red And Green.

Some of you know that I’m actually a super hero for a few weeks each year. For those that weren’t aware of it, I’m actually Santa Claus. Before you call the wagon and the guys with the nets, I’d like to explain what that means to me on this June morning just before 0100. I’ve been thinking about it for hours and want to share some of that Christmas spirit on this night so far removed from the day itself.

Super Heroes Come In Red

Super Heroes Come In Red

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Today, at work, I had my picture frame running next to my computer screens. Out of the corner of my eye I watched the images I’d selected years ago parade in front of me. One image caught my eye, just as it had a few weeks back when I was working on a project. It’s an out-of-character photograph of me in the Red Suit (always capitalized in my universe.) In this picture I’m out of uniform. Children, and adults, expect Santa to be presented in a certain way in public. One item is that Santa must have on gloves. Color doesn’t matter, but white is preferred. Another thing is that Santa is generally expected to wear something red, but that is flexible if he’s visiting hospitals, or there as Father Christmas. But the thing most often asked about is where are Santa’s glasses. Nobody wants to hear that Santa had Lasik and doesn’t need the glasses anymore. Trust me, it’s not acceptable.

In the picture I’m thinking about I don’t have my glasses on my face. It shocked me when I glimpsed the photo, but I didn’t get a good look. A few hours later I saw it again, and then I realized what was taking place in the photo and it pulled me up short. My busy day, busy life, important things, and general air of competence came crashing down when I looked closely at the two people in the photograph. All of my priorities shifted and I stopped to pray for a little girl who had burnished a spot on my heart several years ago. I haven’t seen her in a few years, and I don’t know her fate. But what she did for me that day needs to be remembered, and held close to my heart. It is why I am Santa – super hero to the children of the Christian world.

The little girl in the picture was attending a special event I help sponsor every year called “Cookies with Santa.” It’s for my friends at Hope Kids, a wonderful group of people who provide social outings for my little friends who are very ill. I had my glasses off so that she could touch my face. She needed to touch my face, because she is blind – cancer in her eyes. Most of the children who visit can see me to some extent, but she had lost her vision and lived in a world I can’t even fathom.

In the picture I’m leaning forward so that she can get a glimpse of me. I will always remember her touch: gentle, probing, kind, and concerned. She wanted to know me but not hurt me. Didn’t want to pull the beard, but needed to know where the contours of my face were, and what they brought to her senses. It was a loving touch. And probably the nicest moment of that entire year of being with my smaller friends.

I stopped to pray when I looked at that picture for I’m not certain that she’s numbered among us anymore. She didn’t attend the event last year, and I’m pretty sure she wasn’t there the year before that, either. But in my heart, and in my soul, she has a place that glows red and green with the love of the season. If a guy’s got to be caught out of uniform, I can’t think of a better reason than to give a child the glimpse of joy that she had in that moment. She gave me a gift that I will carry with me the rest of my days.

Tonight she’s on my mind. As are the other children who have come and gone in my career with the elves and reindeer. All of them special. All of them worthy of mention to God tonight as I say my prayers. I hope that you’ll take a moment to pray for those children as well.

Be blessed. And keep Christmas in your heart throughout the year.

Bottom Of The Barrel.

I am occasionally asked to answer questions by a person considering embarking on a career in modeling or acting. This post ranks as a bottom of the barrel item only because it largely consists of the advice I gave in a recent email. I have edited it slightly for general public distribution. It is my response to the query of a young person who knows almost nothing about the industry but knows they are attractive enough to be in print.

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Here are the lessons that too many models never learn, or get hurt learning. My career has been as Santa, a threatening biker, or a jovial oaf. Typecasting to be sure, but it bought me a new car over the last 10 years. Nothing to sneeze at since I drive an Explorer! Yes, there’s money, but it doesn’t come right away, if ever. So, some rules/ideas to live by. Please do not be insulted. I don’t know you at all, and you may already know all of this stuff, but I’ll assume that you don’t. I have no stake in this game, so you can take this as Gospel. Here we go:

Prepare a short letter of introduction. Include 3 photos – one of baby, one of you with baby, one of you. Google all the local agencies. Call the agency and ask to whom you should mail it. Then walk in around 2 pm on a Tuesday. That’s a dead time. Don’t show up Monday or Friday – crazy times. If they don’t want to talk, just smile and leave your envelope with the photos and letter. Make a follow up call in 10 days. That gives them a chance to look at the pile. Three days after that, send a thank you note for their time.

Never pay for modeling lessons or acting lessons unless it’s at a community ed program or college. No reputable agency will require you to take classes you pay for to work for them. EVERY agency that does that is a scam. Run away from them.

No reputable agency will require you to pay a large up-front fee to work for them. If they have a website fee of under $100 that may be reasonable. I’ve paid a few of them over the years. They do put work into promoting you and putting you on the website. But get them to agree to take it out of your first check. That’s what I’ve done with one exception – and that agency had already paid me over $500 that year. It was a steal to pay them $50 to be on the website. Use good sense, if it’s more than $100 it’s a ripoff. Most agencies won’t charge until you work a bit.

No reputable agency will require you to work nude. Let me repeat that: no reputable agency will require you to work nude. You will always have covering over your genitals when working unless it’s a big arty shoot – not very likely in the Midwest. Same goes for lingerie. It’s just not a real modeling job if you are to do a lingerie show for a business lunch – sounds shady, is shady. If you have any doubts about any assignment, make sure you take a friend with you. Having your baby along is no insurance against creeps. This goes double for Craigs list bookings. Only go through agencies.

You may not work for months or a year when first starting. But keep going to auditions. You won’t get work unless you audition. Don’t buy outfits or props for auditions or shoots. They will provide what you need. Auditions eventually turn into work if you have what they are looking for in this business.

Be on time. Models are a pain to work with because they are always late. I always a l w a y s find the place at least 1/2 hour early and find a place to park. I hit the bathroom before knocking on the door. Your being on time and professional will impress them – most models aren’t.

Don’t be a diva, be humble and cooperative. No director wants to work with unpleasant people. Hey, they’re paying you for the time so consider part of the fee to be polite.

Checks will come within 100 days. Yup, very rarely will you be paid right away. Most jobs I do I see the check in about 9 weeks. Good agencies will be up front about that little detail.

Pay varies for the use of the time. If you score a national commercial, it pays a lot of money – thousands. If you do a 1/2 hour photo shoot for a local store, it might only pay $200. Your agency has a vested interest in getting you paid well – they get a percent. Speaking of which, their share of the fee should be no more than 15% in most cases, 20% max.

Do not audition for things you do not want to do or can’t due for scheduling reasons. Let your agent know if you have a moral objection to a product. And conflict of interest comes in to play as well. Sounds crazy, but my employer would can me if I worked for the competition, and I won’t do work for products that I find objectionable. I have had offers to work on things I object to, and I just nicely tell my agent that it won’t work for my lifestyle. All of my agents are cool with it. I have an public image to protect and they usually respect that situation.

Do not offer suggestions to the photographers and directors until you’ve worked for a year. Some of the really silly stuff they have you do has a reason – you will learn them and then once you are experienced you can suggest things nicely – they like it when you help. But learn the craft first.

Create a bag with basic wardrobe – a skirt, a blouse, a pair of tight jeans, a pair of loose jeans, a couple of t-shirts, a v neck blouse, a couple of scarves, a hat, some sunglasses, and some costume jewelry. Add a basic makeup kit, a brush and a comb, as well as a toothbrush, dental floss, and toothpaste. Seriously, this marks you as a professional. Iron the stuff before an assignment and make sure you have the wardrobe they request. Always bring a couple of pairs of shoes that match – they change that stuff all the time. Stick to basic colors – pastels, never black and white unless they request it- no corporate logos, nothing objectionable, etc. You’ll be glad you did.

Bring a book. You sit around a lot.

Bring a snack. It’s rare they feed you for modeling work under an hour or two. Then it will be grapes, cookies, and soda pop. Joy.

Learn people’s names. Send the director a thank you note if they were especially nice. Don’t ask for copies of the photos – big no-no.

Don’t gossip with other actors and models. It’s tempting but always backfires.

Have some fun. Where else do you get paid to smile?

You now have the sum total of my wisdom about modeling/acting. I hope it helps.

I Don’t Do This Very Often – But I’m Overdue.

For all of you who get the vapors when you think about Barack Obama, you will want to wander off and fluff pillows today. I promise that I’ll be offensive to all of his fans.

For the rest of you, full scale mockery below the fold.

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