Final Reminder: Saturday Is CPR Training Day.

I know, I know – blah, blah, blah. I just figure that you’re like me and need reminding. One more time for the flyer and then some humor (*stolen from my Facebook feed because I’m too lazy to write it out twice and I liked what I wrote enough to… never mind*) below that for you.

This is the best deal going for really learning CPR, and it benefits a great charity.

This is the best deal going for really learning CPR, and it benefits a great charity.

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It is now the part of winter where it’s no longer fun in any way. Today it is stupid cold – -18 Fahrenheit. This is the time of winter when the following things happen:

The dog, who lives to bark, runs out and voids all waste in less than 1 minute. Not a peep uttered as it’s too cold to even make it to the fence without freezing your paws.

People start wearing shorts and no hat or gloves to prove that they are tougher than nature. (They will lose – skin, noses, fingertips, etc.)

Norwegians begin to pity us for our pasty skin.

Crazed Minnesotans begin to take hostages at tanning salons in order to skip ahead in the line.

Cars are a uniform scaly gray from the road salt. Pinstriping occurs where you have slipped on the ice and dragged your parka along the side as you crashed to the ground.

Snow is now an obstacle that must be hurdled along many curb lines as opposed to a “nice change of pace.”

Snowshoe enthusiasts press their noses against the window and mutter, “As soon as it warms up a little…”

The travel sites begin to see a traffic uptick that will blow the servers. Inquiries about MSP to anywhere warmer than Oslo flood the internet and threaten to eat up all available bandwidth.

Finally, torture scenes in Lawrence of Arabia begin to look inviting – at least he was warm.

See you tomorrow at CPR training.

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