Some really great customer service.

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Big box stores get a bad rap. I like them. I don’t go there as often as someone with a big family, but I do get the big stuff there. I also have found that some of the items Sam’s Club has are such a good deal that buying a whole bunch of whatever isn’t even required – you can buy just one pie, chicken, etc. Produce is especially inexpensive due to their buying power.

But none of that matters if you drop your membership card between the front door and the exit. Especially when it’s a credit card as well. Oops.

That’s what I did Sunday. The search of the aisles was without result and I resigned myself to cancelling the card and starting over. I moped over to the service counter and threw myself on their mercies.

After a really long phone call with the credit card side of the house I was now stuck with a cart full of food that had been intended for my lunch. And no credit card.

But here God intervened in my favor. First, I had about $200 more in cash on me than normal. I’d attended a fund raiser on Friday night and had jammed a few extra large bills in my pocket in the event that some silent auction item caught my eye. It didn’t and thus the spare cash. Which, as things would have it, covered my cart of food exactly. Blessing number one – enough money to buy my food.

Second blessing was Brianna F. (No last name, privacy must be preserved!) Not only did she have a wonderful attitude and a great smile, but she went out of her way to make sure my pain was reduced. She took care of checking out my order right there to avoid the hassle at the register when I showed up with no card.

When we completed the transaction I asked for her card. I assumed that this poised, quiet professional must be a manager. She said she didn’t have any cards, it was just her second day on the job. Brianna, if this is how you do on day 2, your career with the company is very bright. Sam’s Club – take care of this young woman, she’s your future.

Thank you, Brianna, for making my rough day a lot better.

**this will be included in all posts until further notice. Please subscribe now to Commotion in the Pews and then “like” the Facebook author page. I will be giving away a $100 prize from Walker Farms Honey in May if, and only if, I get 100 new subscribers and 100 new likes to the author page. It stands at 67 today, needs to hit 166 before the prize can be awarded. This helps me when I approach agents and publishers trying to get my books published. Thank you!**

The stupid continues at a new pace.

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I thought perhaps I’d seen the last really stupid thing to come out of New England for at least a week now that the second Jihadist is in the jug. I was wrong.

The people at Williams-Sonoma have taken truly stupid to a new level. They’ve pulled their pressure cookers off the shelves in the area of the Boston Marathon Bombing in order to be “sensitive.” I think that all electrical wiring should be pulled as well, and perhaps all toy cars (the battery in the bombs came from one) and backpacks. Heck, we should probably pull jackets, hats, denim pants, tennis shoes and underwear off the shelves as well because these subhuman scum were wearing those items as well.

And cell phones. Trigger device, it seems, and too dangerous for people to handle. Since we’re at it, I am pretty sure that if you used a couple of clamps and a really rugged stew pot or a crock pot, you might achieve the same level of pressure. And bungee cords! My heavens, you could really wrap a bomb up with those babies and up the pressure level. But they should wait until we pull duct tape – that stuff is known to be used in bomb making.

Variable yield assault crock pot

And B.B.s. And nails. And nuts and bolts. And ball bearings. And marbles. And … Well, I digress.

You see the point is, the object is not evil, the person that used it that way is the problem. I don’t think we’ll be in your kitchen anytime soon taking the serial number off your crock pot or pressure cooker. Nor will you have to register your rice cooker if it has pressure capabilities.

And that raises the question – If pressure cookers aren’t inherently dangerous in the right hands, what makes the government think that rifles and pistols are? I’m on day 20 of watching my high capacity magazines and so far they’re all sitting tight in their box. But they’re tricky: I heard they were talking to the spaghetti strainer about “a road trip.” Makes me nervous.

**this will be included in all posts until further notice. Please subscribe now to Commotion in the Pews and then “like” the Facebook author page. I will be giving away a $100 prize from Walker Farms Honey in May if, and only if, I get 100 new subscribers and 100 new likes to the author page. It stands at 67 today, needs to hit 166 before the prize can be awarded. This helps me when I approach agents and publishers trying to get my books published. Thank you!**

Epic Facebook thread.

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To cut to the nub of it all, a friend of mine who is a local broadcaster put a little tidbit on his Facebook page and set off a firestorm of stupid. Not his doing, but the thread spiraled out of control to over 60 posts.

He put up a harmless observation: “To celebrate ‘Earth Day’ tomorrow, I’ve a desire to rent a gas guzzling SUV, and rejoice in climate change, (aka global warming).”

Not that he was going to do so, but merely a desire. It’s cold today. About 20 degrees colder than normal. And it has been for a long time. We need some global warming here. Many would call it “Spring” or something similar. We’re all sick of winter and the never ending winter storm warnings that the National Weather Service keeps popping off.

One poster evidently thought that my friend was out of line because his profile photo today (he changes the picture more often than most of us brush our teeth – dentists included) was of Jesus holding a small child.

It seems, according to Mr. Facebook profile and etiquette man-in-charge-and-don’t-you-dare-argue-I’ve-got-the-armband (evidently a self-appointed position), that you cannot mock earth worship if you identify yourself with Jesus. Because it’s arguing a political cause that’s scientifically proven – or something.

He was all over the place (the upset reader) with his venom and then he started calling out other comment makers demanding that they confess to their pastor that they had – well, he needed to vent is all I could deduce. He did call me “troll boy” and I was kind of honored with that accolade. It’s part of my theory that anyone that far out that finds you disgusting is paying you a compliment. It’s rather like finding out that you’ve earned the enmity of Hitler and Stalin on the same topic: IT’S A WIN’1!!1

So, I’m going to check the thread now and again and laugh some more. The offended one said he WAS DONE about 20 posts before he quit posting. People got tired of taunting him is what happened. I imagine he’s waiting for a “really good one” to come along and then he’ll jump back in. Should be classic.

Tomorrow? I’m going to celebrate by taking myself out for a large helping of bacon and firing my semi-automatic black gun. I will drive my S.U.V. to get there. And then I just might drive by the stand of pine trees that I helped plant as a teenager. They were seedlings in 1976. They’re as tall as the sky today. I tend to take a longer view on these things. I don’t remember “the little ice age” but I know that it’s an historical fact. Climate change has been around as long as climates. Constantly changing. It’s pretty arrogant to blame man for the most recent cycle of change. But that’s a blog for another day.

How will you celebrate earth day? Any pagan rituals on the agenda for this pagan holiday? Or will you perhaps conform to the Biblical ideals of stewardship and do a bit of herding and planting. One poster said he’d burn a tire to celebrate. Depending on how cold it is, I might join him just to warm my hands. (Upwind, of course. Those things stink when they burn.)

No matter what you plan, have a blessed day. And try to be civil on Facebook. Fact is, not much of anyone cares what you say when it’s a vicious rant about other people’s faith and their mother’s sexual proclivities.

**this will be included in all posts until further notice. Please subscribe now to Commotion in the Pews and then “like” the Facebook author page. I will be giving away a $100 prize from Walker Farms Honey in May if, and only if, I get 100 new subscribers and 100 new likes to the author page. It stands at 65 today, needs to hit 166 before the prize can be awarded. This helps me when I approach agents and publishers trying to get my books published. Thank you!**

It’s going to snow again.

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For those of you outside of Minnesota it is rumored that we have only two seasons: Winter and road construction. That appears to be a distinct possibility this year.

The most recent weather forecast on television tonight talked about snow on Monday.

That started me to thinking. But the Foreign Legion has an amazing set of requirements and I’m past that mark (wouldn’t want to embarrass any of “the kids.”)

I guess I’ll just have to ride it out here.

In the meantime, another silly video with no purpose but to entertain. (*Before you complain, just be glad that it isn’t the ukulele cover of “I Think I Love You.”

Without further ado, here’s Tragedy with “Stayin’ Alive”:

And, just for the Bee Gees fans in the audience, here’s a real Bee Gees video:

I never got to see them in person, but they surely influenced my life in music. I started liking them in the early days, long before disco. I saw a magnificent act in Las Vegas at the Excalibur called “The Australian Bee Gees.” It made me sad to watch them, knowing that it was as close as I’d ever get to the originals.

What act did you miss out on that you wish you hadn’t? What band will you go and see to avoid that sorrow?

**this will be included in all posts until further notice. Please subscribe now to Commotion in the Pews and then “like” the Facebook author page. I will be giving away a $100 prize from Walker Farms Honey in May if, and only if, I get 100 new subscribers and 100 new likes to the author page. It stands at 67 today, needs to hit 166 before the prize can be awarded. This helps me when I approach agents and publishers trying to get my books published. Thank you!**

This required bacon and firearms.

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Today’s shoveling extravaganza put me in a really joyous mood. It was my solemn vow after the last major snowstorm in March that I wouldn’t shovel or snow blow again this year.

I lied. I had to remove this slop as it was the consistency of a Slurpee and about 4 inches thick on my sidewalk and 12 inches on the edge of my driveway where the plow deposited the mess.

Donning my lovely ensemble of blaze orange and camo snow suit and setting my MP3 player to full volume I headed out to do battle. I’d run the stupid snow blower down to the bottom of the tank last time anticipating spring weather. So I emptied the last of the gas can into the tank and headed out.

Two hours later I was closing in on the home stretch. Literally less than 50 feet to go when the buzzard ran out of fuel. No more gas in the garage. I had to drive to the station and buy $5 worth of go-juice just to get the stupid thing back in the garage. (My snow thrower is an industrial size one and wheeling it around the block to get it into the garage is not an option. Must have gas.)

Having twisted my knee while all this fun was going on didn’t add to my joy level.

Only two things could have squared away my attitude – bacon and guns. Since I was out of bacon I went and bought a gun.

I feel much better now. I will have the bacon tomorrow. Thus a perfect end to the week.