Vampire. Vampire. Vampire. General Quarters. General Quarters. General Quarters.

The Master Chief had taken a console in Combat just to kill the boredom. Nothing deader than Christmas Eve in the middle of the Pacific ocean. Besides, the petty officer who had been sitting the position was nodding off. A coffee run to the Goat Locker for some java and cookies would wake the kid up. In the background of his awareness, he heard the phone ringing at the Tactical Action Officer’s spot in the rear of the room. Moments later, his intercom clicked and Lieutenant Worth’s voice came over the network on his private channel.

“Master Blaster, the spooks are all wound up about the Russians and NORKS for some reason. According the the Sith Lords in the tank, the entire Russian Network in this region just lit up with a massive comms burst, and all of the air defense sites are up and radiating. Not normal for 0340 in the morning any day, much less Christmas. Top it with the North Koreans flushing all their alert aircraft and something has to be getting them all riled up. You have any indications on the screen.”

Delroy English scanned the data in front of him and then turned off the filters. He’d learned over the past 25 years that sometimes the computer took out the good stuff because it was outside of any algorithm expectations. The screen blanked for a full two seconds then settled down to a cacophony of data.

One thing after another was eliminated as he sifted the data in his mind. Until track 3298D was up for observation. It took Delroy just one second to smack the alarm on the console with the palm of his enormous hand and key the microphone: “Vampire. Vampire. Vampire. I have an inbound orbital object at Mach 18, projected impact point is own ship.”

Lieutenant Worth keyed his headset and hit the general alarm at the same time: “General Quarters. General Quarters. General Quarters. Turn the Aegis to auto, ABM configuration. I say again, Robo mode ABM for Aegis. Do it now.”

Turning to the messenger of the watch, he dispatched the young woman to wake the Captain and tell him they were under missile attack.

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Systems synced, weapons powered up, and with the Aegis in auto, launch was anticipated any moment. Just as the Captain hammered through the hatch into combat, the secure radio net lit up. “U.S.S. Shiloh U.S.S. Shiloh, this is November Papa One Sierra Charlie. I authenticate Echo Lima Foxtrot. Say again, authenticate Echo Lima Foxtrot. Secure your weapons. I say again, Weapons Tight. Clear your helo pad for VIP Pax arrival. Have an Electronics Technician standing by on the pad. This is November Papa One Sierra Charlie out.”

Captain Frank Gustke stared at the red radio speaker as though it held secrets only dreamt of in the past. Lieutenant Worth was flicking through the communications book, checking the codes.

“All right, Mister Worth, who the heck is November Papa One Sierra Charlie? And is that code crap? I’ve got to launch now to keep us alive.”

“Yes, Sir. It authenticates. Only thing it says is “Special National Command Authority Entity, Top Clearance.” I’d say we have to obey it.”

“This is the Captain, I have control of the weapons systems. Put Aegis back in manual mode, secure general quarters. Clear the Helo Deck and have the head ET lay aft to the helo deck. Somebody grab my parka, I’m going back there myself.”
The 1MC rang out, “Now hear this: secure from general quarters. Secure from general quarters. Now set flight quarters. Now set flight quarters.”

Captain Gustke went to the flight control station and looked at the radar. Nothing. Just a small blip identified with the same track number that had set the whole ordeal into motion. But this was coming in at Mach 2, not an orbital velocity. And it painted very small, no where near the size of an Osprey or helicopter. None of this made sense unless someone was spoofing all the radars in the western Pacific.

With strobes flashing around it’s perimeter, the only other light on the vehicle was a brilliant red glow as it came in vertically to the pad. Frank Gustke couldn’t believe his eyes, and he wiped his face with his right hand, and then took another look. “I’ve gotta lay off the Ambien.”

In a much louder voice, he grabbed the microphone for the 1MC. “This is the Captain. Anyone who takes a single picture of this is going to be doing screen door repair on submarines for the next five years. Secure all electronics and recording devices NOW.”

There in front of him was a massive sleigh, nine tiny-reindeer, and Santa Claus himself. Frank jumped down the ladder as the craft set down, and a team of crew members swarmed the craft and dogged it to the deck. Santa grabbed a crewmember, pointed to a plate on the side of the sleigh, and then hustled inside the skin of the ship.

“Captain Gustke, a pleasure to meet you. Now, where the heck is the men’s head?”

A bewildered Captain Gustke pointed down the passage, “Third door on the left.”

Santa hustled down the passageway and vanished into the men’s room. Three minutes later he emerged with a big grin on his face.

“Danged relief tube froze up. Stupid elves never check that battery. Your crew should be able to fix it. While we’re waiting, how about a cup of coffee?”

“My cabin.”

Up two decks, and near the bridge, Captain Gustke turned into the mess before entering his room, asking the sailor in charge of making sure they got coffee and cookies.

“Yes, Sir. Already on the table.”

Santa peeked through the door. “I think we need more.”

Captain Gustke just nodded wearily. “Make it so. Santa, have a seat.”

Santa added some sugar and creme to his coffee cup and tested it. Sipping daintily, he nodded his approval and then munched a dozen cookies in under four seconds.

“Darned fine, Captain. You have good bakers. You don’t have to worry about the recording thing, I don’t show up on recordings. Unfortunately, you’ll also all forget about this when I leave. Part of the field effect the sleigh has. I only stopped because the night is long, and the coffee is strong. Know what I mean?”

“You mean to tell me you just stopped for a head call? You couldn’t land anywhere else and just… you know… why not?”

“Damned EPA. I have to tank it all airborne and treat the waste within regulations. If I just dumped it overboard, it would freeze to the side of the sleigh. Never… uh… well, into the wind. Never.”

“Santa, this is just too improbable. Am I dreaming?”

“Nope. But some clown of an author sure is unless I miss my guess. Merry Christmas, Captain. Your crew will find presents hidden around the ship when I leave. Please don’t let the MAA force blow them in place.”

“Good night, Santa. Thanks for the visit. Merry Christmas to you as well.”

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Merry Christmas to you all. My your relief tubes forever be warm at altitude.

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Assault on Saint Agnes is available here. Just click this link!

When you finish reading any book (especially mine) please review it at www.amazon.com, www.barnesandnoble.com, and www.goodreads.com. Your review increases the chances of someone looking for a new book greatly. Authors appreciate your review, even if it is just “I thought this was a good read and will give it to my dog to chew. I especially liked the ending, because it made me feel better when he killed all of the main characters. (no spoilers, please)” Those few words (more than 20, fewer than 1,000 is ideal), and a 1-5 rating, make or break how the search engines find us. Thanks in advance.

Christmas Is Almost Here. We Have Time To Remember The Real Reason.

Today, it’s a video. If you subscribe to the blog via email, you will have to click the link, go to the blog and actually watch the video.

Thanks for dropping by. If you want to keep track of SantaJoe, you can “like” his Facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/santajoetwincities

I hope it’s a wonderful Christmas for all of you.

It's Almost Christmas: We still Have Time To Get It right.

Christmas is almost upon us. I wanted to talk to you about the true meaning of Christmas, and how important all of you are in my life.

Posted by Santa Joe on Saturday, December 23, 2017

December 22, 2017 Merry Christmas Music

You’d think I’d save the best for last. Only if you’re a masochist.

With that sterling intro, I present: Hep Stars (Benny ABBA) : White Christmas 1967

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Deeper we go: Cinderella- Blue Christmas

What, my friend, would Christmas be without Run DMC? It sure wouldn’t be Christmas In Hollis (Video)

Now, a perennial elf in her own right: Little Drummer Boy – Joan Jett 2013

Our final song today, is actually nice. I hope you, and all of yours, have a blessed Christmas. Time for Luther to lead us out.

Luther Vandross Have yourself a merry little Christmas

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Assault on Saint Agnes is available here. Just click this link!

When you finish reading any book (especially mine) please review it at www.amazon.com, www.barnesandnoble.com, and www.goodreads.com. Your review increases the chances of someone looking for a new book greatly. Authors appreciate your review, even if it is just “I thought this was a good read and will give it to my dog to chew. I especially liked the ending, because it made me feel better when he killed all of the main characters. (no spoilers, please)” Those few words (more than 20, fewer than 1,000 is ideal), and a 1-5 rating, make or break how the search engines find us. Thanks in advance.

“This is better than awesome.”

I have multiple events that I attend as Santa each year. As of this moment, 2017 holds 39 events in 30 days. Throw in the potential things waiting to gel, it’s 42. Add in the stuff in the previous three months and we pack it up to 45 places where I’ve showed up as Santa so far in 2017. But one customer, one set of friends, is the most special to me: Hope Kids. (Read on, but if you’re looking for an end-of-the-year-charitable-donation to make, this is the best outfit I work with that takes care of children and families.)

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Recently I attended the holiday party for these families at The Tradition Companies. The party, sponsored by these fine people and Chick-fil-A of Bloomington, MN, brings together families of some very amazing children who are facing serious illness. The sponsors get a wish list from the children, and provide the items in beautifully wrapped packages that that old ham, Santa, gets to hand out and take the credit for the nicety.

I have been working with Hope Kids for a long time. It touches me in ways that I am hard-pressed to convey to you. I am pretty sure that it comes down to bravery, cheerful brightness, and strength in God during a very hard time for the families. Wednesday night was no exception.

Part way through the process of taking pictures, talking to small people, praying with big people, and handing out gifts, one of the staff of Hope Kids asked a little girl how it was going. Her response, “This is better than awesome”, was provided with 100% sincerity. Because it was better than awesome.

We live in a society where people with wealth, and corporations, are pretty uniformly viewed as miserly takers. I can stand in behalf of several major businesses, and a whole lot of wealthy individuals, and attest to their kindness, care, and largess. This was more than a party with some trinkets. This was more than a great meal of foods that kids enjoyed. This was a celebration of the lives of these families. This was a moment of joy, and unreserved emotion, in a situation that would bring the best of us to our knees.

I will not carry on much longer, but one family stood out from the crowd last night. I was so impressed with the loving kindness they all lavished on their son that it humbled me more than a bit. I’d seen them over the past few months/years in different lights as Santa. Always working to make the boy a central part of the events. I found out last night that this was his final visit to see Santa. His final Christmas. He was entering the hospice phase of his life after the party.

I get choked up when I think about the love, and loss, that this family will experience this season. I am honored to be a small part of that love. I am blessed to volunteer with an organization like Hope Kids, and that I get to know the people of the Tradition Companies and Chick-fil-A in the course of these events. I am so very lucky to be healthy myself.

Please take a moment now, before you click the mouse, to pray for these families and ask God to give them strength and comfort this Christmas/Hanukkah season. Give generously to Hope Kids if your heart is moved to do so. And, perhaps most importantly, cherish those you love today. They, and the future, are not promised to any of us in this world.

Stop by for more music on Friday, and on Christmas day there will be a special short story up here for all the fans of Santa. Written in the style of Bobby Kurtz.

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Assault on Saint Agnes is available here. Just click this link!

When you finish reading any book (especially mine) please review it at www.amazon.com, www.barnesandnoble.com, and www.goodreads.com. Your review increases the chances of someone looking for a new book greatly. Authors appreciate your review, even if it is just “I thought this was a good read and will give it to my dog to chew. I especially liked the ending, because it made me feel better when he killed all of the main characters. (no spoilers, please)” Those few words (more than 20, fewer than 1,000 is ideal), and a 1-5 rating, make or break how the search engines find us. Thanks in advance.

December 15, 2017 Musical Friday Continues

Good thing there are only two Fridays left to program – I’m almost out of ABBA related Christmas songs.

Thankfully, we have Agnetha singing Jingle Bells in Swedish. Eat your heart out Katie Perry.

Agnetha (ABBA) – Bjällerklang (Jingle Bells)

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Today we’re going military, in honor of all of my brothers and sisters serving far from home on Christmas.

First up, Little Drummer Boy – 2013 Defence Forces Christmas Carol Service

Not to be outdone, the United States Navy Band strikes with White Christmas.

Now, them there doggies from the Army get equal time with some bluegrass Christmas music:

Bluegrass Christmas Medley | The U.S. Army Band’s 2015 American Holiday Festival

Finally, what good would it be without the Marines? A Marine’s Christmas Song – The Official Military Video

Pray for them all. Call them. Skype with them. But keep them in your hearts tonight. You are in their thoughts.

God, please bless them all.
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Assault on Saint Agnes is available here. Just click this link!

When you finish reading any book (especially mine) please review it at www.amazon.com, www.barnesandnoble.com, and www.goodreads.com. Your review increases the chances of someone looking for a new book greatly. Authors appreciate your review, even if it is just “I thought this was a good read and will give it to my dog to chew. I especially liked the ending, because it made me feel better when he killed all of the main characters. (no spoilers, please)” Those few words (more than 20, fewer than 1,000 is ideal), and a 1-5 rating, make or break how the search engines find us. Thanks in advance.