Spring Might Actually Be Here. But I’m Not Putting Big Dough On It.

Every winter leaves Minnesotans craving spring sometime around Valentines Day. By then we’re so fed up with the snow and cold that an apocalyptic sun spot burst would be welcome. This year was even worse than usual, with a record-breaking snow fall during February. That, naturally, came on the heels of a record cold January.

To compensate, the state has elected to flood it’s rivers. Yes, the Mississippi is over its banks in downtown Saint Paul. It’s a special time of year in Minnesota: almost spring.

Even the trash is pretty in spring…

I say almost spring because winter has wandered back around in the night before to break windows and turn over the dog house. Last year we had a full-scale blizzard on the 14th of April. That was fun! I always enjoy going to spring weddings while attempting to hurdle the plow rows in the street.

But, I digress. Some of the signs of spring are obvious – birds in the yard, melting snow, etc. But have noticed other things – the sparkle of dried salt on every artificial surface in the state below knee level, a handful of the same salt in my jacket pocket that came from when the 40 pound bag I was spreading burst a seam and exploded over my shoulder. Lake Poop emerges in the backyards of thousands of homes where dogs live. (I can’t blame Stormy for all of it, the rabbits left an equal volume in the yard.) And piles of trash, cigarette butts, and forgotten car keys emerge from the ice. Some are almost poetic in their justice, as shown in the picture above.

There are some positive things as well. I was able to walk to work for the first time this year, as the sidewalks and intersections are finally free of ice. It was joyous, and I have almost 6 months to do this before it goes back into the toilet.

The most positive thing is that even after a very sedentary winter, I managed the three miles in just over my normal time. I also, (Somebody notify the Pope on this one, it might be a miracle) managed to work up the courage to put on a pair of the “skinny” jeans (that’s a relative term considering they are from the big&tall section of the WRANGLER catalog) I bought last summer – and they fit. With that surge of adrenaline going, I got on the scale.

Frankly, my expectations were low. It had been a long winter of Tim Horton’s for this boy. Yet I had managed to lose 5 pounds since the fall. I darned near died of shock when the scale stopped banging against the restraint at the health club and I had to reduce the little sliding weights.

We made it. I made it. I may not look any skinnier, but I am. I am also looking forward to not shoveling snow. I figure I only have about 25 days left where its a real threat. I can make it.

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NEW BOOK IS OUT!

My second novel, Nicholas of Haiti, is now available. Go fetch your credit card for the Kindle, print, and audio book versions. This is not a sequel to Assault on Saint Agnes, but a unique book in the speculative Christian fiction world.

Audio book cover on the left, Kindle cover on the right.

Please follow me on Twitter, and “Like” the Facebook author page.

Don’t forget to subscribe (the box is on the right side of the page) to be eligible for free e-books and other benefits! Oh yeah – grab a copy of Assault on Saint Agnes if you’re of a mind.

Dear Fake News: You Can All Shut Up Right After You Apologize To The President.

For the past two years I have been remarkably taciturn about my contempt for the lying weasels that comprise the Fake News industry, and their co-conspirators in the Democrat party. I have, in large part, laid out no comment about the vile lies and smears they have levied on President Donald Trump.

Now, with the release of the Mueller (and why this name isn’t pronounced Mewler is beyond me) report, I have a few choice words for a gigantic percentage of the working press, and for those “Never Trumpers” who deny the fact that he was elected President of the United States in 2016, and currently resides at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, D.C.:

Get over it. Apologize for your insane attempt to bring down a sitting President. Find something useful to do with your lives.

My, but that felt good.

The simple fact is that they won’t quit. But here’s where my brilliant skills as an analyst come in handy. So, are you ready?

If I accused you of molesting children, and encouraging others to do so, while pilfering from coin boxes at McDonalds, how innocent do you have to be before you get really angry and punch me in the face?

I would think immediately if you are innocent. But now I’ve raised the standard to you having to prove you are innocent. Consequently, I hire some investigators, each of whom despises you for some reason, and send them out to audit the coin boxes at every McDonalds in the world. They must conclusively prove that you didn’t take any money from the boxes meant to fund the Ronald McDonald house in your area. As to the child molestation charge, they are required to speak to every child that has ever been molested and make sure you weren’t involved. Moreover, they have to definitively prove nobody you ever met, or corresponded with, or worked with, had molested a child, or stood mutely while someone they knew did so – even if they were unaware of it.

That’s the level of idiocy that has been thrown out as what the President needs to do to placate the left/press (but, I repeat myself) in this country. You can’t prove your innocence when such a wide, and bizarre, conspiracy has been accused. The argument will always be that there must have been some coins unaccounted for, and that you stole them. Or that child molestation goes under-reported, and you probably were involved in those cases.

The same thing has happened with this “Russian collusion” fantasy the left has inflicted upon us. For starters, there is no crime known as collusion. Secondly, Mueller has definitively told the world that there was no conspiracy with the Russians to influence the 2016 election involving any American.

End of story. Obstruction of justice you say? Well, the same Rod Rosenstein the left has held up as an icon has signed off that there was none. You see, it’s mighty hard to obstruct justice when the whole thing is a travesty of justice.

It is tragic that we, as a nation, have wasted two years of our lives on this crap. People’s lives, fortunes, and marriages have been destroyed by this witch hunt.

Oh, before you ask, I have read the Barr summary. I will read the Mueller report when it is released. I fully expect there to be large sections redacted to protect national security issues, and to protect the integrity of the 6e (grand jury) information. That’s fine: that’s how it should be in a world that has not gone mad.

Me? I’ll be smiling wide for the next few days while this all rolls out. You see, I fully support the President. He’s a cad, he’s crude, he’s a taunting-jerk sometimes. But I like having a winner on the track, and that’s Donald Trump.

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NEW BOOK IS OUT!

My second novel, Nicholas of Haiti, is now available. Go fetch your credit card for the Kindle, print, and audio book versions. This is not a sequel to Assault on Saint Agnes, but a unique book in the speculative Christian fiction world.

Audio book cover on the left, Kindle cover on the right.

Please follow me on Twitter, and “Like” the Facebook author page.

Don’t forget to subscribe (the box is on the right side of the page) to be eligible for free e-books and other benefits! Oh yeah – grab a copy of Assault on Saint Agnes if you’re of a mind.

What Was I Going To Say?

I’m now heading into the second full week of having this stupid virus. I’d like to say that it has given me a lot of time to think deep thoughts. Mostly I think about things like, “How much longer until I can take another cold tablet?”

Deep thoughts indeed. Even the dog is bored with my coughing and fatigue. Tonight’s big plan is to head to bed at 8 and sleep for 10 hours. Whoopee. The exciting life of an author and voice over artist.

Seriously, between the lunatic fringe that’s running for the Democrat nomination, and this cold, I’m at the point where a rapture is overdue.

But, since it isn’t imminent, (Like I have a clue…) I’m going to go out on a limb and say that we’d all be better off turning off the news/social media for a week and see how we fare.

Having said that, I am now turning off social media for one week. No Twitter, no Facebook, no Instagram.

If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be over there with the dog working on my book. Yes, there is hope of a sequel this year, and another project *or two* that I’m working on as well.

See you all in a week. Take some time to ignore the media. I’m sure that by next Tuesday we’ll all be obsessing over something else even less important.

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NEW BOOK IS OUT!

My second novel, Nicholas of Haiti, is now available. Go fetch your credit card for the Kindle, print, and audio book versions. This is not a sequel to Assault on Saint Agnes, but a unique book in the speculative Christian fiction world.

Audio book cover on the left, Kindle cover on the right.

Please follow me on Twitter, and “Like” the Facebook author page.

Don’t forget to subscribe (the box is on the right side of the page) to be eligible for free e-books and other benefits! Oh yeah – grab a copy of Assault on Saint Agnes if you’re of a mind.

We Fear Too Much.

Before this one gets me exiled from your circle, I ask simply that you read the whole thing (it’s short) before rendering judgement.

Since the beginning of recorded time there has been an implicit threat that God is coming to judge us. I agree. He is coming, and He’s disappointed and angry. No doubt. He sent His Son to atone for our terrible behavior, and we turned around and held a party that night.

What we have also been doing, since the beginning of time, is pointing fingers and saying that this is the most evil time in history. “We are all skirting the edges of Hell every moment, and without a doubt the person in charge of our society is a huge example of the wickedness that envelops all of us.” Thus sayeth the prophets since time immemorial.

It is also, judging by popular culture, the most difficult time in history to be elderly, a teenager, a dog, or you name it.

Hogwash. Utter Hogwash in my opinion.

I will agree that we’re doing some terrible things as a species. Probably the worst of all is abortion. We kill millions of humans around the world each year because they are inconvenient. We create them in a moment of lust (99% of them anyway) and then dispose of them like trash because we are too short-sighted to plan properly. Planned Parenthood, indeed. How about “Convenient Murder” as an alternative, and more accurate, name?

But I digress. Travelling back through history we’ve had some real bad things. The Holocaust, slavery, genocide, The Hanson Brothers. Each generation has had some awful atrocity associated with their time on earth, whether it be Jonestown, Rwanda, or Pol Pot.

Popular culture has been decrying teenage angst since the first motion pictures. Gene Pitney famously said … well, you don’t want another Gene Pitney lecture, but his lyrics talked an awful lot about how badly teenagers were treated by the world.

None of this is new. It isn’t because Donald Trump is president. It isn’t because Nancy Pelosi is Speaker of the House. It isn’t for any of the reasons your self-centered mind says are the cause of the world’s misery. (Well, Pelosi is suspect…)

It is simply because we’ve all fallen short in the eyes of God. (Romans 3:23). Go take a read of that book. People were cheating on each other and killing rivals for girls way back then. I mean, we never change, do we?

So lay off the “we’re all going to die” if we don’t defeat a politician at the ballot box. Lay off the rhetoric about how evil the opposition is – no matter your side. Let’s try to solve some problems and talk to each other instead.

Trust me: nobody knows the time nor the date. But we should be getting ready, and pointing fingers and screaming hasn’t done much so far ,has it?

*********************** *********************** ************************ ************************ **************************
NEW BOOK IS OUT!

My second novel, Nicholas of Haiti, is now available. Go fetch your credit card for the Kindle, print, and audio book versions. This is not a sequel to Assault on Saint Agnes, but a unique book in the speculative Christian fiction world.

Audio book cover on the left, Kindle cover on the right.

Please follow me on Twitter, and “Like” the Facebook author page.

Don’t forget to subscribe (the box is on the right side of the page) to be eligible for free e-books and other benefits! Oh yeah – grab a copy of Assault on Saint Agnes if you’re of a mind.