Some Of You Have Wondered – How Do You Keep The Blog’s Qualitee So High?

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For starters, many of my readers are in hospice and don’t care about spelling. So that helps a lot. But there are other secrets I need to share with you, and I will do so below the fold. (So to speak.)

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First secret: people love music videos. I know, it’s crazy. But it’s true. You will draw more hits with those things than you’d ever imagine. You can even Rick Roll your audience and they’ll laugh. Just don’t do it too often.

Dogs, and dog stories, are gold as well. Stormy is more than my beloved dog: she’s click bait. I could write the most amazing story/profound thought and it wouldn’t get half the comments and praise that that pokey nose gets. People love dogs.

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Controversial stuff. Last Friday I posted a piece about AGITPROP in Austin, Texas. You’d think the national media would have swarmed on this exceptionally well written piece by an obscure blogger. Eh, not so much. But it did show up in Google rankings and will eventually draw traffic. I’m cool with that waiting thing. See any piece on my author career: waiting is the key.

Nice stuff. Step outside yourself and write about a charity. Talk about your mission trip to Haiti with Healing Haiti. Start something with #commotiongrant programs. You can find something bigger than your own ego to lift the blog if you try.

Food. Doesn’t matter if you write about the pork ribs you did in the oven or the restaurant you ate lunch at last Thursday. It helps if you add pictures.

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Girls. Well, my wife objects if I date around, so that’s out. But it seems to help when I put pictures of my friends who’ve written books on the blog. Seriously, book reviews are great for drawing traffic, but if the author sends a great picture it helps. My mug draws no traffic. Amy, Varina, Brandy, Nicole – well you get the idea. Every one of them brought their friends to the blog. It’s a strategy high school kids have utilized for decades: get your sister to bring her friends over when you’re around. It classes up the joint.

Consistency. We talked about this at a writer’s meeting on Sunday. You have to publish a few times a week, and make it regular. I’m pretty good about putting something up every week, always once, almost always twice, sometimes three or four times. But if you just drop by once a week, you know there will be new content at some point.

Bag jobs. There will be times when you’re just bursting about several topics. Write that blog then and there. Save it. Get it completely ready with keywords and the whole schmere and put it in the draft file. If it’s timely, run it the next day. If it can age a bit it will be there for that week when you’re on a mission trip, you’re wearing a red suit, or your dog dies and you couldn’t write a word if you tried. ALWAYS have at least one blog in the can, ready to go. Just don’t wait to post that restaurant review until after the place closes. It happens. Trust me, it happens.

So, you’ve got my total blog knowledge. Except for one thing: respect your readers. I have a very smart, funny, and sometimes silly group of readers. But because I treat them well and don’t insult them with lies (and nonsense to benefit me and only me) they keep coming back.

For that, I am very grateful.

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I have a favor to ask of my readers: would you kindly share this blog with your friends, family, and colleagues? We hit a million views in 2014, and while the readership continues a nice growth trend, it could be a lot better. Just hit the Facebook like button, share it on your timeline, tweet the blog with a link, and tell that person at the next desk that there’s this lunatic who writes about all sorts of stuff that they might like.

I appreciate your help. When we hit 2,000,000 readers I will give away something cool to a drawing from the subscribers (that’s the box on the right toward the top) who have helped promote this mess. No used sheets, probably not honey, more likely gift cards. Be a part of it. I’ll update from time to time where we’re at in the count. Thanks.

Oh, one more thing: I did purposely mess up the title of this piece. Narf!

AGITPROP Is Alive And Well In Austin.

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I need to get out ahead on this one, because I am officially demanding an apology from every person who posts on Facebook about the evil, racist, Texas-sucks-because-they’re-white, people who put up the sticker below in Austin over the last few days. Most of the people who have to apologize to me (as a white guy who likes Texas, and Texans) haven’t even posted on this topic yet. But I know they will, and I know what they will say. They’re predictable. Push button, get outrage. That’s the whole point of Agitprop.

Suckers

Suckers

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I’ve predicted, and I’m sure it will be the case, that the sticker was produced and placed by some ultra-liberal/hipster/communist loon, or a black person who feels that the gentrification of the neighborhood is driving out minorities from an area they feel is “rightfully theirs.” Mind you, there is no real effort to color restrict this area, but it’s someone’s idea of raising social awareness and making sure that everyone thinks correctly.

Soon there will be serious discussions of this topic (but not at Starbucks) and the talking heads will all talk about the sad history of race relations in Texas, the horrendous dragging death of James Byrd (never mind that one of his killers is already dead from an execution and the other is on death row – without need of any hate crimes laws, just plain old murder) and the fact that George Bush was governor of the state.

The same talking heads will all be very quiet when this is exposed for what it is: theater.

Most of the widely publicized hate crimes incidents of the last 20 years have been fomented by agitators. People who wanted to point out the unfairness in society against blacks, jews, gays, and polar bears. They set it up, vandalized their own cars/homes/faces and then waited for the outrage. A great lesson was learned so it was worth it. Nah, I don’t think it was. When they were exposed their sad mental health was usually blamed. A few were fined, lost their jobs, or did a short bit of jail time. But most were just told not to do it again.

I think hate crime laws are odious. Here’s an idea: if they beat someone, try them for battery. If they kill someone, try them for murder. If they wreck a car with paint or hammers, vandalism. If they say something horrible – well, ostracize them. That first amendment is really a pesky thing, it allows people to tell me that the sky pilot I worship is no different than the flying spaghetti monster. I’m okay with that concept. Don’t expect me to talk to you, or do business with you. But you’re free to be your own special kind of idiot.

I think – make that I know – that Austin will be the same kind of special idiot. Likely a white person who is so in sympathy and down with the cause that he was making a brilliant point and we’re all just too stupid to see it. Or, a black guy who sees the neighborhood going upscale and losing it’s “authentic” nature.

Me? I like hipsters when they bring new food, bars, and music to a run down neighborhood. They should either grow a real beard or shave, but in general they’re no more annoying than hippies. Hippies just rarely did anything good for the local economy.

I also like black people. Come to think of it, my only real problem is with stupid or evil people. Crap, I’ve just broken another stereotype! With my background, religion, and education, I’m supposed to hate almost everyone who isn’t me. (Note: there is this guy, Jesus, whom I follow. Maybe you’ve heard of Him. He told me to love all as if they were myself. I’m working on that. Sorry about the stupid and evil people, Jesus: I’m a work in progress.)

Just saying.

So, all of you who shriek and moan about the racists in Texas over the next few days, please feel free to apologize to me on your Facebook page when you’re outed. I’d ask that you link to me at this link. I can use the exposure as a sage and a prophet.

If I am wrong, I will print an apology here in all capitals the day following Jane Fonda’s sincere apology for the increased torture of American prisoners of war in Hanoi. But only if John (Christmas in Cambodia) Kerry countersigns it with Hillary’s email signature.

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I have a favor to ask of my readers: would you kindly share this blog with your friends, family, and colleagues? We hit a million views in 2014, and while the readership continues a nice growth trend, it could be a lot better. Just hit the Facebook like button, share it on your timeline, tweet the blog with a link, and tell that person at the next desk that there’s this lunatic who writes about all sorts of stuff that they might like.

I appreciate your help. When we hit 2,000,000 readers I will give away something cool to a drawing from the subscribers (that’s the box on the right toward the top) who have helped promote this mess. No used sheets, probably not honey, more likely gift cards. Be a part of it. I’ll update from time to time where we’re at in the count. Thanks.

Chris Rosati Has A Great Idea: The Butterfly Effect In Your Life. #commotiongrant – updated 10:55 CDST

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I’ve talked about random acts of kindness and paying it forward here before. Seems that it’s about to go mainstream with the efforts of Chris Rosati. Let’s jump on this bandwagon!

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There are a lot of variations on this idea, none of them are originally mine. Until now. I’m calling it #commotiongrant

UPDATED: Seems we needed to clarify what my twisted mind had hatched. Here’s how it works. You are given $20 bucks and are asked to do something good with it. You feed the homeless, buy a care package for a soldier, use the money to buy gasoline and mow every senior citizen’s lawn in the neighborhood, etc. You get the idea. You then give two other people $20 each and tell them to use it to do something good. So, you hand them $20 and they spend it on a good work. They then take $40 of their own, give $20 to two different people and ask them to do a good work and then bless two other people. It cascades. #commotiongrant can be considered as a reverse pyramid scheme. It starts out narrow and goes very wide very quickly.

The person that told me about this gave me $20 and told me to do something nice with it. I did. A good friend had suffered a loss in their family and they were hurting. Out came the $20 with my suggestion that they take their husband out to breakfast and remember all the great times with the dog that had passed away that evening.

Would I have done that if I hadn’t been handed the $20 earlier that day? Unlikely. But it felt so good to do it. I’m planning on doing it again. You see, that’s what the butterfly effect can do: I get $20 and then I give $20 to two people as well as doing a good deed. Those two people do it as well. That $20 doubles. The next time out, it quadruples. And so on. (Unlike Congress and their outlook, it adds up to real money around the third level.)

Better than even that, they tell people about it and those folks (some anyway) do the same. Next thing you know all sorts of people are handing out $20 bucks to two people and asking them to pay it forward.

The change this can effect will be small to you. But to the recipients it will be huge. Not just the monetary impact, but the fact that you will be growing that spirit of giving within others. Opening their minds to the simple act of helping others is pretty huge.

Today, before 2 pm, give two people $20. I’ve got one more person to give mine to and I’m going to have it taken care of before 8 pm Wednesday.

I’d love it if you’d report back to me via the comments on what “good deed” you did for another. Keep paying it forward and if you tweet or use Facebook, use the hashtag #commotiongrant and tell everyone about it via social media.

Let’s rock the world with kindness.

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I have a favor to ask of my readers: would you kindly share this blog with your friends, family, and colleagues? We hit a million views in 2014, and while the readership continues a nice growth trend, it could be a lot better. Just hit the Facebook like button, share it on your timeline, tweet the blog with a link, and tell that person at the next desk that there’s this lunatic who writes about all sorts of stuff that they might like.

I appreciate your help. When we hit 2,000,000 readers I will give away something cool to a drawing from the subscribers (that’s the box on the right toward the top) who have helped promote this mess. No used sheets, probably not honey, more likely gift cards. Be a part of it. I’ll update from time to time where we’re at in the count. Thanks.

In My Universe, There’s Two Kinds Of Families.

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That’s a gross oversimplification. There are a whole lot between the polar opposites I’m about to address. But we’re not grading on a curve here, just talking about a bit of a revelation I had this weekend on Facebook.

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I was enjoying the spectacle of my friends posting their semi-regular kid updates this weekend. We don’t have any children without fur, and that’s for the best. (Truly, God is wise and avoided cursing some child with me as a father. I might be disturbed/disturbing, but imagine if I got to mold someone from birth in my image. Whoa!) I live through other’s college tuition bills, since Stormy isn’t prone to doing much beyond simple addition. (I’m pretty sure there’s an algorithm for how many times she must summon me to the back door depending on my keystrokes on the computer, but that’s for another blog.)

I realized that none of my friends were posting pictures of their son or daughter heading off to Cabo with twenty of their best friends for a weekend of sun and debauchery. Nor, for that matter, were my friends headed to the local bar to go nuts for Saint Patrick’s Day. (Except for my CT friends. They’ll drink to anything! Cheers, shipmates.)

Where were all these people during spring break? Missions. God, help me, but I’m the guy who looks forward to mission trips. Furthermore, I enjoy it when my friends are raising their children up to do the same. Double the enjoyment when they go on their missions at the same time.

This is in direct opposition to those folks who send their kids on debauches, or go for it themselves. I used to live that life in a minor way. Passed out in the chair in the corner, empty bottles on every flat surface, I could party with the best. Never did the spring break thing, but there was more than one boozy road trip in my life. It is who I was at that point in my life.

Looking at it now, I really wish I’d been saved as a kid. My parents tried to drill some God into my thick skull, but I was too smart to fall for that gibberish. Yeah. Right. The wasted years when I could have been growing as a man and a soul. I wonder what my life would have been like if I’d been a kid who wanted to go on a mission trip somewhere.

Is there a moral or a message here? Yes, there is: if you are an influencer of children, what influence are you having? Are you offering them the chance to grow in God? Or, like I was, are you telling them about the awesome bars in Naples and Toulon?

That’s a pretty heavy question. I am planning a trip very soon, and one of the things I’m looking forward to is the first time people going with us, and what I can bring to the experience to help them. I’m not talking about which shoes to pack, but what parts of their hearts they want to leave behind here, that they might replace them with something from our destination.

That’s what mission trips do for me: a heart healing through locational surgery. I leave something behind and bring something home.

You’ll hear more about that in the next few months. (I’m not even counting Dengue Fever. Brought that one back with me the last time…)

In conclusion (a phrase you hear in Baptist churches no fewer than four times each sermon) I applaud the parents, and children, who head for the mission on spring break. I like being your friend. I’m honored to know you. I’m blessed to have been able to hang out with you in some of the strangest places and laugh like loons over a grimy set of clothing and a bottle of water.

I love my new life in Jesus.

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I have a favor to ask of my readers: would you kindly share this blog with your friends, family, and colleagues? We hit a million views in 2014, and while the readership continues a nice growth trend, it could be a lot better. Just hit the Facebook like button, share it on your timeline, tweet the blog with a link, and tell that person at the next desk that there’s this lunatic who writes about all sorts of stuff that they might like.

I appreciate your help. When we hit 2,000,000 readers I will give away something cool to a drawing from the subscribers (that’s the box on the right toward the top) who have helped promote this mess. No used sheets, probably not honey, more likely gift cards. Be a part of it. I’ll update from time to time where we’re at in the count. Thanks.

On Deadline: You Get This Nonsense

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I’ll be back next week. This week is dedicated to finishing a new novel so that I can enter it in a contest. You’ll be glad for the break, trust me.

Please follow me on Twitter, and “Like” the Facebook author page. Don’t forget to subscribe (the box is on the right side of the page) to be eligible for free e-books and other benefits!

So, first, the random picture.

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I picked that one because it’s where the cursor landed when the mouse wheel spun in the gallery. But it’s a good pic, three generations of assorted spooks, sailors, and Marines. (How come they get honked if you don’t capitalize but the rest of us are cool with it?)

Now, a rant: McDonalds, your new bags are too thin. They rip every time. Especially with your boxed products. I know it’s saving you money, but I’ll flip in the extra 5 cents for a bag that makes it to the car.

Now, a dog picture.

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Finally, thank you all for coming by. I promise real content next week.

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I have a favor to ask of my readers: would you kindly share this blog with your friends, family, and colleagues? We hit a million views in 2014, and while the readership continues a nice growth trend, it could be a lot better. Just hit the Facebook like button, share it on your timeline, tweet the blog with a link, and tell that person at the next desk that there’s this lunatic who writes about all sorts of stuff that they might like.

I appreciate your help. When we hit 2,000,000 readers I will give away something cool to a drawing from the subscribers (that’s the box on the right toward the top) who have helped promote this mess. No used sheets, probably not honey, more likely gift cards. Be a part of it. I’ll update from time to time where we’re at in the count. Thanks.