Stormy Versus Reality, Round 4,573,392

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One of us is nuts. Most people will vote for me being crazier than the sheepdog, but I beg to differ.

One, or more, of us is nuts.

One, or more, of us is nuts.

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Let’s start with that picture and talk about my love affair with the dog in the lower left corner. I took that picture during the summer of 2014. We were both sitting on the back step enjoying the day when she cuddled up. Yes, my dog, the standoff queen. The camera came out and the moment was captured.

Her behavior, on occasion, is either bizarre or sweet. Let’s talk about Mrs. Bunny. Stormy and Mrs. Bunny have a curious relationship. Mrs. Bunny is stupid and often turns the wrong way when being chased. This means that Stormy almost catches her, and it’s only by God’s grace that the rabbit is still around to torment her at this point. Does that stop Stormy? No. However, I seriously question her genetic code when she looks right past the rabbit and prioritizes barking at the bird on the phone line. Maybe she’s cutting the little butterball a break. Or, she is so disconnected with how to feed herself that birds are more attractive as prey.

Speaking of food, I regularly try to poison her with dog biscuits. My wife never is suspect in this plot to kill the dog, just ask the dog. But when I offer her a “cookie” she often sits there closed mouthed and will not make eye contact. On other occasions, with the same body language and tone of voice, she scarfs it gladly.

There is a third instance of cookie madness: the “you’re a cheap jerk” look. Stormy and I both could afford to lose weight. I break her overly large treats into smaller tidbits. I get the look on a regular basis. Mind you, I break down and toss her a potato chip, a gummy bear, or other treat on occasion just to break the monotony. I even bring home doggy heroin (Frosty Paws) for her from the store. But when she hears that cookie snap in half you’d think I’d just sentenced her to death by slow starvation.

I don’t wonder about her as much as I used to when she first arrived. It’s slowly dawned on me that she’s eccentric and finally comfortable in revealing those quirks to my wife and me. That’s love and trust winning out.

Right after Christmas she was needy. I hadn’t been around much and she was short on her morning snuggle sessions. When I get up I invite her on the couch while I watch the news. One morning I was headed out after just fifteen minutes. She looked panic stricken: “How can you leave so soon?” It was tough to put her in her room (my room when I’m in there, her room when it keeps her from barking at passing aircraft) as I left for work.

We’re both a little nuts. I felt the same way.

But I do love that picture. What a great looking dog. What an improvement in my life to have her in it.

Book Review: Jaded By Varina Denman – ***** Five Stars

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Over the past few years you’ve seen me crack under the pressure and review romance books by fellow authors. I like to review books by people from my agency, The Blythe Daniel Agency. It’s fun. I know them. I do review other books from other agencies on occasion as well. My one rule is that I will only review books that would rate a four or five star review on Amazon. If it’s less than that, you will hear nothing from me. I read an awful lot of books that never make it to this blog. Jaded by Varina Denman is one of the few that made the cut, and is the first five star review of 2015.

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Varina Denman (Stolen with pride from Varinadenman.com)

Varina Denman (Stolen with pride from Varinadenman.com)

Jaded by Varina Denman

Jaded by Varina Denman

[Full disclosure: I received a pre-publication copy of this work compliments of the author for review/endorsement purposes.]

Varina Denman has an incredible debut novel with Jaded. I was expecting another pleasant Christian love story with some wit and dry humor thrown in, nothing too heavy. I was wrong. This book has such evocative writing that I kept seeing the movie in my head as I read through it this week. Not only did it read like watching a movie, but it was a really good movie. One I would be proud to take my God Daughter to see on a Saturday, and my beloved wife on Sunday. Mom will have to wait for the Monday showing.

Set in a small (suffocatingly so in my worldview) Texas town it combines elements of To Kill a Mocking Bird and Cape Fear. I don’t know if Varina meant to do that, but I loved the fact that I made the connection: it meant that the story elements were strong enough to bring those very deep emotional links right out in front. When you’re compared to iconic authors right out of the chute, you’ve got the mojo.

Characters in this novel are crisply drawn. They are not the stereotypical stuff of romance books. As a matter of fact, while this book started out as a Christian Romance novel, it would be a huge error to place it in that category alone. It’s a brilliant novel that is enjoyable reading for all adults. I prefer action-thrillers, but Denman kept me hooked enough that I’d carve out time after work to read each evening. Good stuff. Pacing, plot, and some twists were all excellent and kept me motoring right along.

The only downfall of the book is that she writes so well in scenes with food that I had to stop and snack – repeatedly. So far the must have list this week includes chicken fried steak, hot dogs, cotton candy, burgers, and hot chocolate. Thanks a lot for the weight gain!

Part of a series of novels, it’s set the hook deeply enough that I will buy her future works without reservation. She’s really set the bar for debut authors with this one. I’m blessed enough to work with a stable full of geniuses like Varina: now I have to work harder to keep my place in the agency.

Well done, colleague.

Varina’s book is available right now on Amazon. Run over and buy it by clicking this link.

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I appreciate your help. When we hit 2,000,000 readers I will give away something cool to a drawing from the subscribers (that’s the box on the right toward the top) who have helped promote this mess. No used sheets, probably not honey, more likely gift cards. Be a part of it. I’ll update from time to time where we’re at in the count. Thanks.

Gee, That Guy Is Loud. God, Please Bless Him.

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I was out to dinner the other night, and the restaurant was starting to fill up. Instead of our usual “Seniors Early Bird” meal time, we were actually there for the dinner hour. Our hostess seated us next to a table with three people. Good deal: all of them over 8 years old. I love children, but the stares I get with the beard are sometimes distracting to everyone during the meal. Adults rock when I’m out incognito.

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Ten minutes into our stay, adults weren’t so cool. The man at the table next to us was pretty loud. That’s really saying something when I have left the hearing aids at home. I tried to tune him out, but he was pretty constant in his chatter. He was regaling his table with childhood memories of the restaurant and the times they’d had.

I gave up politely ignoring him, and caught a glimpse out of the corner of my eye: He was in love. He had that glow of affection all over his face, and the target of his attention was an elderly woman who looked a lot like him.

Being a snoop, I now tuned in and watched him surreptitiously. I had to figure out what was going on here and see if it made sense. It did make sense. And it broke my heart with joy that such a good man would share his evening with me in this restaurant.

You see, the woman was his mother. And she had obviously been afflicted with a stroke or some other disablement that required the use of the walker leaning against the table. She was trying to speak back, but couldn’t muster any words from what I could see.

He was in love with his mom. He was sharing old times with her, and carrying the conversation by himself, because she had lost her ability to speak.

I’m a judgmental jerk on occasion. I’m glad I violated social protocols and listened in on this man. He was someone I could appreciate: He carried his heart on his sleeve.

We’re all getting older. Infirmity comes knocking without warning. I hope that when, not if, I start to lose my faculties some young pup takes the time to take me out for dinner and make sure I’m comfortable. It’s not the price of the meal, but the time that you give others that makes you a great man.

Sir, I don’t know your name, but you will be in my prayers tonight. Thank you for honoring your mother.

Since my mom reads this train wreck: Mom, I’ll take you out to dinner anywhere, anytime. I love you. (But if it’s Waffle House, I may go twice!)

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I have a favor to ask of my readers: would you kindly share this blog with your friends, family, and colleagues? We hit a million views in 2014, and while the readership continues a nice growth trend, it could be a lot better. Just hit the Facebook like button, share it on your timeline, tweet the blog with a link, and tell that person at the next desk that there’s this lunatic who writes about all sorts of stuff that they might like.

I appreciate your help. When we hit 2,000,000 readers I will give away something cool to a drawing from the subscribers (that’s the box on the right toward the top) who have helped promote this mess. No used sheets, probably not honey, more likely gift cards. Be a part of it. I’ll update from time to time where we’re at in the count. Thanks.

I Don’t Even Like Led Zeppelin, But I Love This Video.

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Here’s a refreshing break from my ranting. I love talented kids. This bunch rocks the house. I know how hard it is to get adults to coordinate and practice anything. But youngsters? From different schools? For a long piece? WOW!

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Here it is, an amazing video of kids playing a Led Zeppelin piece. They are the Louisville Leopard Percussionists. Go for it!

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I have a favor to ask of my readers: would you kindly share this blog with your friends, family, and colleagues? We hit a million views in 2014, and while the readership continues a nice growth trend, it could be a lot better. Just hit the Facebook like button, share it on your timeline, tweet the blog with a link, and tell that person at the next desk that there’s this lunatic who writes about all sorts of stuff that they might like.

I appreciate your help. When we hit 2,000,000 readers I will give away something cool to a drawing from the subscribers (that’s the box on the right toward the top) who have helped promote this mess. No used sheets, probably not honey, more likely gift cards. Be a part of it. I’ll update from time to time where we’re at in the count. Thanks.

The Islamic Threat Is Real, Mr. President.

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Since I’ll flush a few readers with this one, I’d just like to say, “Thank you for dropping by. I hope you’re not beheaded or burned alive. Too bad you were offended, but not sorry I offended you.”

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Let’s just get down to the brass tacks out of the gate (love mixing metaphors):

Barack Obama’s administration is completely incompetent in dealing with foreign affairs, especially in the Arab world.

While the man talks about ISIS being a “J.V.” team, it’s pretty clear that his clown squad isn’t even up to middle school synchronized lying. From Gropey Joe Biden down to Jen Psaki, they do nothing but disparage our national interest and embolden our enemies. Biden, when he slips up, does come to our defense. I don’t want him on our side, so that doesn’t work out too well. He’s the most potent personal defense item the president has: nobody wants Joe’s finger on the nuclear button.

The reality, Mr. President, is that Islam is not radicalized as practiced by ISIS or Al Qaeda: it is pure. You’ve read the book, tingled to the call to prayer, and practiced the religion by your own admissions, Barack. You surely remember the parts about Jizha, slaying infidels, beheadings, Jihad, and all the other wonders that are Islam in it’s own manual, the Koran. How is it that you dismiss the actions of its most ardent followers as being an aberration?

Me? I’ll take the lax followers of Islam any day of the week. They’re like Catholics in Italy in 1320: not much choice. This is not to disparage Catholics: they follow the teachings of Jesus when they do it right. He’s the messiah of my preference. Peace. Love. etc. But most Christians don’t have a passion for the things taught in the new Testament like the ISIS kids do with the Koran. If they did, the world would be a better place. Lax Muslims consort with infidels (me) and let me eat in their restaurants. They argue with me. They … well, we have way more in common than we hold in differences.

BUT THE CRUSADES!!! Yeah. That was how many centuries ago? ISIS was torching people last week. Boko Haram is still kidnapping children for sexual slavery and forced conversion as of an hour ago. Throwing homosexuals off of buildings is still kind of a spectator sport in Syria as of … right this minute.

The point is, Mr. President, that some things are evil and wrong. ISIS and the other scum do not need jobs. This is not an economic argument. I wish your straw men burned as easily as Jordanian pilots. You are the master of misdirection. Some might call you the king of liars, but that title is reserved for only one being. Close, but no cookie.

Every time Barack Obama soft pedals the cruel and diseased religion that is Islam, he ignites their cause to an even larger fire. The King of Jordan gets it: kill them. The Egyptian leadership, Al Sisi has called for a religious reformation in Islam. I’m all for that: keep three or so of the Five Pillars and we’ll be on the road to recovery. If you modify them a tad, we can keep all five. Just make the pilgrimage to Green Bay, pray twice a day (optional if you’re really busy), give 5% to the poor and needy, proclaim Jesus as the messiah (again, optional if you don’t cook that way), and keep the fasting/self denial during Ramadan (but hold it during January because the days are shorter.) That would be wonderful. Personally, I don’t give him a year before some maniac assassinates the man.

So, here’s a reality check: what in the last two paragraphs automatically makes me eligible for a death sentence in several nations? If you answered questioning Catholicism, you are wrong. A guy named Luther something did that already. Nope, questioning Islam’s tenets, and making fun of, or suggesting changes to, the five pillars is auto death. Good thing Baptists don’t do that except for… well, we don’t do that whole “put the heretic to death” thing. Starting to see the difference between the west and Islam?

If you’re a big Obama fan, you need to really read what he’s said (himself and his minions) about Islam in the past three weeks. I won’t ask you to go back even ten years. Just three weeks. (You can even skip the “woven into our national fabric” nonsense if you’re busy. It’s too time consuming to even pretend to justify that one.) The time period when the most horrific slaughter has taken place by ISIS. If you can justify what they’ve done, and agree with what he’s said on the topic, you’re soul is lost. Simple, no? He’s on their side this month.

Is this too political? Probably. But when our own president is taking the positions that he has, he’s not on our side. Rudy Guiliani has some serious flaws, but he was right on the money when he said that Barack Obama doesn’t love America.

I’m sure the readership just dropped into the tank. So be it. I will not say nice things about a man who doesn’t cry out against this kind of horrid brutality and savagery. I just wonder what he’d say if it happened in Cleveland? Well, it was just 21 Christians on a beach. Probably photo-shopped in its entirety.

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I have a favor to ask of my readers: would you kindly share this blog with your friends, family, and colleagues? We hit a million views in 2014, and while the readership continues a nice growth trend, it could be a lot better. Just hit the Facebook like button, share it on your timeline, tweet the blog with a link, and tell that person at the next desk that there’s this lunatic who writes about all sorts of stuff that they might like.

I appreciate your help. When we hit 2,000,000 readers I will give away something cool to a drawing from the subscribers (that’s the box on the right toward the top) who have helped promote this mess. No used sheets, probably not honey, more likely gift cards. Be a part of it. I’ll update from time to time where we’re at in the count. Thanks.