A Little ‘splaining For The Arts Community

It’s been a while since I committed professional suicide. I’m overdue. I say that because I am a professional actor by all definitions. I’ve been in motion pictures (that’s me in the background, actually got paid once…,) television commercials, radio commercials, stage productions, personal performances, voice over on industrials (training films, etc., ) and had to sign a SAG/AFTRA waiver once upon a time.

Some might laugh at that list, but here’s the reality: I’ve managed to pay my mortgage off 14 years early by virtue of the money I’ve made pretending to be someone else. Mind you, credit card fraud can do the same thing, but I actually make enough acting every year to make modest car payments and house payments (if I had either…) That qualifies me as a professional actor. Santa, just so you know, is an acting job in many ways. Because if you stink at it, the next performance will be in your kid’s living room, not at the lens end of a camera.

How will this blog be professional suicide? Glad you asked: some of my contacts in the industry are … rabid. That’s the word. They are social justice warriors who will deny me work because of my thoughts on this topic. These folks, sadly, will ignore the fact that I do a decent job for their agency and keep my mouth shut on set. Instead, they’ll peg me as a conservative Christian supporter of Donald Trump, and immediately know that I’m in charge of the new camps where gay people, all immigrants (legal and illegal,) and people any less white than The Donald will be interned and then paid less than “us.”

So I imagine. Mind you, this is not everyone in the community of arts. Lots of fine, open-minded people that I’ve worked with for years. They will continue to offer/not offer me roles based on my abilities to perform, my appearance (I make a very unconvincing six-year-old girl,) and my availability. I cherish them, regardless of their political views, sexual orientation, color, or disabled parking sticker. They treat me well, and have engaged in a professional relationship that I value.

Having said that, there are a few who will not let it go, and that is unfortunate. I’d name names, but it’s better to be on the decent and prudent side in the event that I’m wrong. After all, its’ hard to judge a book by its cover, or an actor by their Facebook rants.

Let me tell you what it’s come down to for me: I’ve watched the war in the arts community over the weekend regarding the cast of the Broadway play Hamilton. (No link, you’ll see why soon.) I am saddened that performance, and art, are being overshadowed by the need to lecture, hector, and push an agenda from the stage. To quote a great wit, “Shut up, and sing.”

To summarize what happened, Vice-President Elect Pence was in the audience. He was booed by the audience. Following the performance, one of the main characters gave an address to the audience regarding the new administration. Some have said that Pence was already gone. Doesn’t matter to me. The “fourth wall” was broken, and that’s unacceptable in my opinion. (Unless you’re Mel Brooks. He can get away with it…)

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Whether or not Mike Pence was recently elected to high office, or if he was a plumber whom the characters knew because he’d flooded the dressing rooms by accident, it was wrong to call him out and lecture him (absent or not) in the fashion the cast did. Some have defended the actors, saying the producer/director put them up to it – horsefeathers. The man paid for a ticket to a performance and was entitled to enjoy his evening. End of story.

The excuse of the progressive left is that: Pence is in a unique status and thus has no private life due to his potentially great power and influence; he is fair game to be lectured to, excoriated, exposed, ridiculed, or praised on any given night he his in public; the speech given by the cast member was polite; the actor is an HIV positive man and thus entitled; he’s black and thus entitled; the cast is part of the LGBTQ community; the arts are a special place for a social voice; (Tired of this crapola yet?) Pence should have known that this might happen, and was asking for it; this wasn’t a performance of Arsenic & Old Lace (that’s my favorite one thus far) and so his social consciousness was in need of raising if the opportunity presented itself… Blah. Blah. Blah.

Seriously? I don’t remember telling any of my agents that I have chronic migraines (mercifully few, lately) or kidney stones. I also didn’t mention my disabled veteran status, nor the fact that my hearing is fading and I’m pretty close to deaf in one ear. Nope. I foolishly expect to be hired because I look/sound like what the casting director had in mind, and I did a good audition. Heck, had I known that being ill with a horrible disease would get me a role, or at least a second audition, I would have capitalized on my Dengue fever a few years back. That should have scored me network television role at a minimum of three episodes, speaking character. Nowhere in my understanding of acting is there a codicil that you can be rude to your guests because of your age, illness, disability, or politics.

We have, unfortunately, lost almost any trace of civility in political discussion of late. I am blessed in that I share my life with a bunch of really outstanding people who are so far left that they might be Wobblies in another era. Yet we are all friends, congenial, and have fascinating discussions. Most of those discussions highlight how much we have in common versus our differences. It is possible to be in the same room with someone else and let them alone. Including the theater.

I perform, most of the time, wearing a red suit. Can you imagine what the result would be if I did anything but love, and pray for, the children that come to me? I may dislike their parent’s attire, their political opinions (often worn on their sleeves) or their choice of pets, but how is it right to inflict that on them when I’m being retained to entertain? I don’t think this need apply just to me, but to the theater in general.

If I go to a comedy club and the comic is known to hate white people, I’d kind of figure I was going to get a performance I won’t enjoy. Same thing with Bruce Springsteen. The dude can rock, I enjoy his songs, but he’s a total pain in the butt with the lectures. Sorry, I won’t pony up money for that silliness.

But I do attend events where I’m not the majority. I attend events with different outlooks politically. I attend events with ethnic groups that may never understand me, nor I them. But I go into those events knowing I take risks to my comfort with my purchase of a ticket. I do it because I might find something I truly enjoy, or expand my horizons. You don’t get to speak a couple of languages, do manual labor, and computer science without stretching some personal boundaries.

But in a Broadway theater? I refuse to buy the argument that it was “the actor’s safe space” and they were entitled to speak out once it was violated. I think they owe Mr. Pence an apology. And a refund. Same for the rest of the audience, whether or not they agreed.

You see, they paid to see the play. Not the demagoguery that followed.

If you, as a performer, choose to pursue social justice over your craft, you will find yourself restricted to audiences that think like you. You will never get to teach with an outstanding performance. You will never bring new material to the stage that deserves an audience that could grow from the performance. You will be consigned to the open mike night at the local coffee shop, not swaying millions of potential advocates with your classy way of presenting the message. I present as argument number one a certain Sir Sidney Poitier.

Come see me as Santa this year. I promise not to lecture you. Even if I despise you on a personal level. That, my fellow artists, is why it’s called a profession: you take the customer’s money and deliver a product as requested. Save the rest for the local coffee house or bar after the performance.

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Assault on Saint Agnes is now available. Just click this link to find all the options! (I recommend the autographed copy. It’s cheaper than from the big stores, I scribble in it, and you get it mailed within 5 days. We all win.

When you finish reading any book (especially mine) please review it at www.amazon.com, www.barnesandnoble.com, and www.goodreads.com. Your review increases the chances of someone looking for a new book greatly. Authors appreciate your review, even if it is just “I thought this was a good read and will give it to my dog to chew. I especially liked the ending, because it made me feel better when he killed all of the main characters. (no spoilers, please)” Those few words (more than 20, fewer than 1,000 is ideal), and a 1-5 rating, make or break how the search engines find us. Thanks in advance.

Another Excellent Day In My Life

Last Wednesday my God Daughter’s school had a ceremony honoring veterans. Her mother and father are both teachers. I will not put their names out here to protect their privacy. But I have to say that I love the whole family dearly, and honor them greatly. The only really questionable decision I’ve ever seen them make was asking us to be the God Parents. (I mean, who’d leave their kid with me if they died, right?)

eaganhighschool

In any event, and very seriously, I was deeply touched by the event held at Eagan High School. For those of you who have written off the younger generation, you have never met my God Daughter and her classmates. Fine young people who honored us (the vets) with breakfast and a ceremony that brought tears to our eyes. We felt loved. Honored. Appreciated. Respected.

In return, I swelled with pride over the young people who came up to me after the ceremony and introduced themselves as recent enlistees. Others, dozens, came to shake our hands.

Our country will be in good hands when these young people take the wheel. It’s that annoying generation just before them we have to survive. (I kid. I’ve met some amazing millennials who have served our country. Good people. Not a man-bun among them.)

Most of all, I knew how she felt about us (my wife is a vet as well) and was touched by the invitation. A very nice affair in every regard. And a fine young woman whom I love dearly.

Please follow me on Twitter, and “Like” the Facebook author page. Don’t forget to subscribe (the box is on the right side of the page) to be eligible for free e-books and other benefits! Oh yeah – grab a copy of Assault on Saint Agnes if you’re of a mind.

Here’s the link to the ceremony (It’s at the bottom right of the home page right now. A week from now I’m not promising). Carve the time out to watch it today. You will figure out where we all choked up by the end. I can only say, in my most humble voice, that I was among heroes on Wednesday. And it was an honor.

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Assault on Saint Agnes is now available. Just click this link to find all the options! (I recommend the autographed copy. It’s cheaper than from the big stores, I scribble in it, and you get it mailed within 5 days. We all win.

When you finish reading any book (especially mine) please review it at www.amazon.com, www.barnesandnoble.com, and www.goodreads.com. Your review increases the chances of someone looking for a new book greatly. Authors appreciate your review, even if it is just “I thought this was a good read and will give it to my dog to chew. I especially liked the ending, because it made me feel better when he killed all of the main characters. (no spoilers, please)” Those few words (more than 20, fewer than 1,000 is ideal), and a 1-5 rating, make or break how the search engines find us. Thanks in advance.

An End Of The Week Veterans Day Mishmash.

This will be shorter than normal. Let’s start.

President-elect Trump, I’ve found the starting point for draining the swamp: The V.A. While there are many fine professionals working there in clinician roles, the joint needs a draining of administrators. Prosecute all those who have caused harm through venality and greed. Anyone who’s been proven to mistreat a vet, or push off their treatment just to make their numbers, must be prosecuted to the fullest extent. That would be the nicest present you could give us for this Veterans Day. Please start there, Mr. Trump.

Happy Veterans Day to all who have served. Especially my wife, a fellow sailor, spook, linguist, and Courtemanche (for 31 years.) I’m so glad that you are a part of my life.

To all my fellow spooks: you didn’t get the recognition you deserved in the day. I was laughing this morning at the highly-unauthorized group photo taken in front of the N.S.A. headquarters. My biggest regret is not having more pictures of my friends from that time. You were all, regardless of political persuasion, amazing people.

To this day, when I meet a vet they get an immediate ear. Seems they just try a bit harder than most. Proud to be numbered among them.

Finally, I’m at 97 reviews on Amazon. I know there are at least four of you who mean to write a review but never get to it. So, today’s the day. Click the link, log in to your amazon account, and write the review right now. I really would like to hit 100 reviews today. I appreciate your help.

Now, go about your business and collect those free dinners, lunches, and coffees. I’ll be at Famous Dave’s for mine. Dave’s a great guy, fine food, and they treat vets very well.

Be blessed. I’ll be back next week.

Please follow me on Twitter, and “Like” the Facebook author page. Don’t forget to subscribe (the box is on the right side of the page) to be eligible for free e-books and other benefits! Oh yeah – grab a copy of Assault on Saint Agnes if you’re of a mind.

********* ********** *********** ***********

 

When you finish reading any book (especially mine) please review it at www.amazon.com, www.barnesandnoble.com, and www.goodreads.com. Your review increases the chances of someone looking for a new book greatly. Authors appreciate your review, even if it is just “I thought this was a good read and will give it to my dog to chew. I especially liked the ending, because it made me feel better when he killed all of the main characters. (no spoilers, please)” Those few words (more than 20, fewer than 1,000 is ideal), and a 1-5 rating, make or break how the search engines find us. Thanks in advance.

In War: Resolution. In Defeat: Defiance. In Victory: Magnanimity. In Peace: Goodwill

I’m writing this as the results come in. The quote is from Sir Winston Churchill. I abide by it.

As I pointed out four years ago, no tanks in the streets tomorrow. Count your blessings that you can head to slumber in full confidence of this fact.

Some observations about the election:

The press shamed themselves. First they promoted Trump for the show, and to wreck the other Republicans. Well, they got their wish. At the end, not a nice word was to be found about him in the local fish-wrapper. I will not name them, except to say they’ve been known as “The Red Star” since I was a youth. Odious swine, including most of their colleagues on television.

The Republican party, especially the leadership among elected officials, also shamed themselves. They did not keep their pledge. Nor did the back their man. Louts. All of them. Except Reince. His was a lonely road. He is to be applauded.

The pundits. Tonight they are all agog over the results. Brian Williams, who was under sniper fire with Hillary in Rhodesia during the Second World War if I remember correctly, said “Nobody counted yard signs!” Really, doofus? For the sake of all… I counted them. My friend Bob counted them. The response from our liberal friends was that yard signs are not effective and a waste of money and it showed that Hillary! was smarter than Donald. I will continue to laugh for weeks. No matter which one wins, the press and the pundits were all very wrong.

Bill O’Reilly. Bill, I’ve got something for you: a swift kick in the ego. You pontificating nitwit. I knew you were a windbag for years. You have ugly ties. Now go eat a grenade and give Geraldo a hug. Seriously. You are now an official parody of yourself. My, but how tiresome you have become.

Now, to the rest of you: nice job. No riots, no bad behavior. The workplace was largely civil and I enjoyed standing with my fellow citizens to vote as we waited for the polls to open.

I’ll be back with some additional thoughts very soon. Right now, the noggin is empty. (Shut up, Larry. I hear you laughing.)

No Option Left If You Wish To Save The Republic: Donald Trump

If you are a dyed-in-the-wool supporter of the most power-driven woman in history, one who throws subordinates under the bus, leaves good men to die in Benghazi (she did, in her defense, have help from Obama), and who has been shamed repeatedly by her competition with charges of corruption, then you’re probably not going to like this next bit. But don’t despair, I’ll get to Trump after the videos. I’ve not yet mentioned her shabby treatment of women who accused her husband of rape. But, we don’t want to talk about that. So, how about we stick to the serial lying? The video gets the point across:

Before I go any further, I’d like to talk to my friends who will be voting third party. I know some of you are doing so in protest. It’s about as effective as protesting gravity at this point. Frankly, if you have not been politically involved all along the process, and just bitch and moan today about how stupid both are so you’ll vote for one of the others, you have nobody to blame but yourself tomorrow.

If you are planning on this, and have not been involved all along in a third party based on ideological principles of that party, today you either deposit one in the pot or move on mutely to be quiet for the next four years. Vote for one of them. Yes, the lesser of two evils. Because “none of the above” isn’t going to win, and the two who are flipping the coin are not impressed with your protest. Pick a side. Either side. But pick one. The only thing that you get in the middle of the road is run over.

Back to Hillary.

If she was to enlist in the military this morning… she wouldn’t be let in even if she was 22, perfect shape, and ready to go. Why? Because she’d never get a security clearance based on her blatant misuse of classified documents. She couldn’t even maintain the computer the email was typed on. She is completely untrustworthy, and never will be. She has demonstrated her contempt for the citizens of this country over and over, lying to congress and the public.

No way, Jose.

Donald J. Trump is a vulgar man who has a lot of money. He’s blunt, he says a lot of things that get misconstrued. He says some things that are just dumb. But there is a hope that he will be helped to lead, blocked if he screws up, and exiled in 4 years if he fails. He will not fundamentally change this nation if he’s a train-wreck. He might do well. I’m not sure.

But I am sure that the rapacious woman from Chicago/Arkansas/Washington/New York is a vile creature who lets people die on her watch. A woman with contempt for the military. A woman who put our national security at risk so that she could avoid scrutiny of her email system. She’s unfit for any elected office, and unstable. Medically and emotionally.

Trump might shake a fist and bloviate, Hillary rages and throws things. She passes out and rides around in an ambulance.

I could go on, but if you’ve made it this far you have to make a choice:

Vote for her, knowing she’s a liar and a thief.

Vote for him, knowing that he’s a boor, but has the potential to follow the constitution.

Vote for none of the above, and elect her.

If you don’t vote for him because he’s not a good Christian, you’re going to elect her. A woman who holds no spiritual belief beyond a firm stance in favor of very-late-term-abortion, and her own divinity.

The reality is, he’s a jerk, she’s a menace. Jerks win over menaces every time when you have to pick someone to leave the kids with on Saturday when there’s an emergency and you’ve got to go to Detroit. He’s the Uncle Buck of candidates with hair that Alfalfa would have shunned.

She’s the one you leave the dog with and find out that she’s Cruella de Vil dressed in frumpy clothes and shower curtains stolen from a Motel 6 where Bill stayed on his way to pedophile island.

Trump try to be everyone’s president if they’re a citizen, or become one. I know that chafes some of you, but this election is for legal citizens.

She’ll be out for blood right away. She’s got a long history of that kind of behavior. Whoa be unto those who have crossed her.

Your choice. I’ll be able to hold my head up either way. Until I’m sent to the camp.

If you think that is a step too far, I hope you’re right. I suspect my taxes will be audited, my reputation sullied, and my dog is already thinking of shaving.