Commotion in the Pews | Thoughts and tirades that don't fit into any of my books. A collection of items of limited interest to anyone.

A Warm Paw Offered In Love. Another Gigantic Step.

Posted on December 13, 2016 by Joseph Courtemanche

Most of you have read a bit on this blog, or on my Facebook page, about my rescue Sheltie, Stormy. She’s been with us almost four years now, and is doing pretty well. Grey on the chin from age, still pretty spry, and finally accepting us (the humans in the house) as friends, not as potential poisoners posing as kind people.

One, or more, of us is nuts.

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Recently I was sitting on the couch watching some serious documentary action scroll by on Netflix. Stormy came over, plopped down on the floor like the Sphinx, and stared at me. I gently tapped the top of her foot with my toes. Instant movement to get out of reach. I kept following her toes with mine until she tired of the game. Gently, with the kind of caress that only lovers and parents share, I brought my foot up against the pads on the bottom of her paw and left just the slightest pressure before setting my foot down. She dozed off in a minute or two, and that very warm set of toes rested there for quite a while.

My wife got up and walked across the room, and naturally the dog rolled upright and watched her as she went. What happened next was one of the nicest things to happen to me this year. Instead of following my wife upstairs, which Stormy is in the habit of doing, she rolled back on her side. A moment later, she brought her paw over my foot, and very slowly put it right back where it had been a moment before – resting on my toes.

The warmth of that embrace was what you feel when you hold the hand of someone you love. It was, in fact, the exact same thing but across species lines. A remarkable bit of progress for a dog that wouldn’t even stay on the same floor of the house with me for the first month of her residence here.

She still has issues with noises, thunderstorms, sudden movement, and there hasn’t been a face-licking yet. But she just held my hand with her heart.

I’m good with that. Thank you, God, for healing her heart so much. Mine too.

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It’s Friday – More Strange Christmas Videos Just For You!

Posted on December 9, 2016 by Joseph Courtemanche

Week #2.

Every year I try to bulk up the Fridays with some music videos that might have escaped your attention. Some are repeats of previous years (love them) and some are new.

So, turn down the speakers on your desk at work, and get busy wasting corporate bandwidth!

It ain’t ABBA, but Bjorn Again with Little Drummer Boy.

Okay, quit your whining. I know you want more ska. But you’ll have to settle for Bob Marley doing White Christmas.

So, can you get to a more diametrical opposite of a ganja smoking dude from Jamaica than Pentatonix? Probably not. Here they are doing Silent Night.

Like that? I thought so. Here are The Temptations doing Silent Night.

Nothing says Christmas like The Three Stooges. I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas. (On a personal note, my mother hates this album. I memorized it, much to the glee of my father – a fellow Stooges fan – and regularly sang it all the way through, very loudly. Because there is no other way to sing with The Stooges.)

Not enough to satisfy you? Well, here’s another Stooges classic: Wreck The Halls With Boughs Of Holly.

Enough merriment. This is a serious holiday. To whit, Run DMC with Christmas In Hollis.

This next pick was random, but few are in greater contrast musically than Dean Martin with White Christmas.

Let’s wrap it up today with Benny Goodman. Yup, Jingle Bells by the King of Swing.

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Watcher In The Doorway.

Posted on December 5, 2016 by Joseph Courtemanche

Sunday my rescue Sheltie, Stormy, was teaching me about Christianity. Pheh, you say. No, read on and you’ll see why a good shepherd helped me feel the season even more deeply.

Sunday I had an event that would require me to leave part-way through church. As I’d put in a 13 hour day on Saturday with the red suit (not counting travel time) I elected to sleep in and get some beauty sleep. I need beauty sleep. I will hit a church service Monday on my way to work, so the guilt level was low.

As has become the tradition, when I looked out into the hallway from my bed I saw Stormy sleeping with her back to me. She stands guard and watches the stairs when I’m sleeping. On the mornings when my wife is up and about before I am, Stormy stays at her post until I get up, not leaving the doorway to so much as go out and relieve herself, or get a drink of water. She takes her job seriously.

After I’d consumed caffeine, taken a shower, and combed the beard out I started to apply my face. Yes, that beard won’t whiten itself…yet. While I’m very much gray, and get it bleached a couple of times a year, it looks yellow under the camera. So some Ben Nye’s Snow White is in order to get it camera ready.

While applying the secret sauce, I noticed a nose poking into the bathroom. Stormy very rarely comes in there when I’m around. We joke that it’s her office, but she doesn’t just check on what’s going on in there as a normal thing.

In the four years (almost) that she’s been with us, she’s seen me do this ritual at least
sixty times. But today she was watching with rapt attention.

I never know how much she understands of what we say. I do know that she likes being addressed as a thinking creature. Kissy noises and baby-talk are not on her list of favorite things. She’s clearly very smart, has a huge vocabulary for a dog that came to us late in her life, but I never really know what’s just me babbling and what’s understood.

I explained to her that I was Santa Claus and that I had to change my appearance so that people would recognize me as him. That stopped me in my tracks. Do I really think that I’m Santa Claus? No. But with or without the beard whitener I try very hard to present the image, and act the role, of who Nicholas of Myra really was in this life. Sometimes I’m on the money. Sometimes not. But the makeup is of little consequence.

It’s the tone of voice. The listening to people. The gentle touch on an arm, or the top of a head. The engagement of each person as an individual. Mostly, however, it’s the love. I truly love the people who come to see me as Nicholas.

That might sound funny to those who have never had the blessing of putting on the Red Suit. But it made me ask myself if I followed Christ. Oh, I’m a Christian, but do I really follow Him?

I spent the next few hours on a couch, taking pictures and smiling. But the whole time, I was examining my values and my behavior.

The answer is that I try pretty hard. Yes, I’m still a foul-mouthed cynic with a taste for the bizarre. But I do pay attention to what He says. I try to listen. I try to treat others well. I try to be kind to animals, honor children, and keep the sink empty. I fail a lot. But that’s not what He asks of us: He’s all about the trying, and accepting His love.

And that, folks, is how a Shetland Sheep dog named Stormy got me thinking about God today. Deep critter, good friend, a joy in my life, and a blessing.

Have a great week. Stop in Friday for more Christmas music videos.

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Annual Tradition Returns: Christmas Music Videos You Didn’t Know About.

Posted on December 2, 2016 by Joseph Courtemanche

Every year I try to bulk up the Fridays with some music videos that might have escaped your attention. Some are repeats of previous years (love them) and some are new.

So, turn down the speakers on your desk at work, and get busy wasting corporate bandwidth!

Let’s kick 2016 off with Christmas Feeling Ska by The Maytals

What would Christmas be without the blues? John Lee Booker Christmas With The Blues

Changing the pace, The Carpenters I’ll Be Home For Christmas

Overseas once again for Shonen Knife with All I Want For Christmas

Finally, proof that even super bands fail now and again. KISS with White Christmas

On second thought, I couldn’t leave that horrible taste in your mouth. Thus, a palate cleanser with Frankie Lymon It’s Christmas Once Again

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It Has Begun: Santa Season Underway.

Posted on November 30, 2016 by Joseph Courtemanche

Each year, for almost two decades, my life flips upside down for six weeks. I put on the red suit, and Joe vanishes.

This year, as is tradition, I started out with a charity event. Highlight? The little boy with the necktie who cried tears of joy. He’d worn his very best, because he’d never met Santa before and wanted to make a good impression.

He did. He opened a lot of hearts that morning, including one of my volunteers from the University of Minnesota Women’s Athletics Department. She was moved by the joy, and sadness, of some of the children who came to see me. I hope my explanation helped: they might be terribly ill, but today they’re all just little children going to see Santa. Their dreams and wishes outweigh the illness for the moment, so rejoice with them.

I think she did.

This is an excellent opportunity to talk about the young women (and one young man) from the University of Minnesota who showed up this year. My head elf, Paige, dances pretty much non-stop for three hours and keeps the children focused on the camera operator (His name is Dick, but he’s shy….) I asked her how she did it, and she showed me her watch: she’d burned off 1200 calories before 11 in the morning.

Each year this crew of amazing young people come out and help with the cookie decorating, ornament and card making, and keeping everyone moving in the right direction. At 7:30 on a Saturday morning when I was sleeping in during my freshman year… hmmm, could be why the sophomore year was rather abbreviated – but I digress.

If you listen to the media and the old fogeys my age, today’s youth have nothing. I beg to differ: Paige and her crew are what I would like every young person to be – outgoing, helpful, kind, in for the finish. All of them worked very hard to help our guests have a great day. I was very impressed. Makes me proud of my alma mater.

The incredible employees at Blue Sun.

The second event was also great fun, and one that I will be repeating this coming Sunday. (Full schedule is up at http://www.santajoe.com/schedule.html) I had the pleasure of hanging out with the crew at Blue Sun Soda & Sweets Shop.

Just what everyone needs: the excitement of Santa, combined with enough sugar to stun a rhino! Seriously, I left with a case of assorted sodas. Yes, it’s premium stuff and premium prices, but you literally can’t get 99% of these flavors anywhere else.

It’s not just the soda and candy, but the style of the place. I have known the owner, Mark Lazarchic, for many years. This was the first time we were able to work together. I’m very glad we did. You see, Mark not only provides good wages and benefits, but he’s the epitome of a small business owner who risks it all to have a vision come true.

So, this Sunday head on over between 12 and 3 to see Santa, stock up on soda and candy for the holiday stocking stuffers, and experience a very unique business. Here’s a link to the joint’s map.

The pictures today, were compliments of Amore Fotography and Events. Soledad, the owner and photographer, is tremendous with children, and I loved working with her!

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