Prozac Princess. The Story Of Love’s Limits In Canine Anxiety.

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Some of you know the story of my dog Stormy, some of you don’t. Today’s post is about her background and how it’s impacted her life with us over the last three years. It’s also about what is in store, hopefully, based on the last week.

First, a new picture for you to enjoy.

How dare you photograph me!

How dare you photograph me!

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Stormy is a Sheltie (Shetland Sheepdog) who has lived a life of double rescues. She is not just a pretty face, but she’s a girl who’s been rescued on two different occasions. Why is beyond me. She is a very sweet, loving and kind dog. She’s smart and funny and all the things you look for in a canine companion except face-licking-affectionate. I can live without the last one as long as she’s happy.

For the past 3 years we’ve been working very hard on her becoming a part of the family, and being happy in her skin. Unfortunately, no matter how much love and attention we lavish on her she’s still fearful. Not snapping-at-any-movement fearful, but the kind of fearful that means when you drop your soda can into the trash she hides upstairs in the bathroom (known as Sheltie Headquarters at our house.)

This past spring was a terrible time for her. The house next door to us was demolished. You want to make a fearful animal truly insane, bring on the big machine that eats houses, dump trucks, boulders crashing into dumpsters, and strangers just on the other side of the fence.

Add to the mix a new privacy fence that blocks your view of the universe at 2 feet tall (the barrier of the hedges/house next door left with the demolition and left us feeling vulnerable and exposed,) and all the workmen that did the building.

Finally, add in the morons in our neighborhood who set off large explosions all summer long around ten at night. Yup, not just on the fourth, but pretty much year round, there’s one fool who detonates a large explosion almost every night. It’s semi-randomly timed, so I can’t figure out which yard it’s coming from when I go out to look.

This has left our girl with such an excess of anxiety that it was manifesting itself every day in the form of panic attacks. Before you really annoy me, and try to tell me that dog’s don’t have anxiety issues, I’d ask you to just remember that I’ve had plenty of dogs who were a little skittish over loud noises, but generally had the same level of “who cares” that I try to maintain.

This was different. She was ready to crawl out of her own skin most days for the past few months. She’s been like this on occasion in the past, but now it was becoming the norm. I’d tried everything I could think of: prayer, treats, petting her, holding her (supposedly dogs hate that last one) and keeping things low key.

It all went in the tank after a week where we had a 3 a.m. thunderstorm five nights in a row. She was bonkers, I was sleep deprived. The call to the vet was made and a diagnosis rendered. I picked up the puppy Prozac on Friday.

My greatest fear was that I’d be messing with a mind that is full of fun things. She’s really a clown some of the time, and enjoys her capers almost as much as I do. I was worried that she’d quit barking at airplanes, running in circles and all of her other quirky behaviors.

I need not have feared.

The change, thus far, has all been for the good. Each day she seems a bit more at ease with her world. A little less frantic about noises, sudden movement, and my recording equipment. She spends less time upstairs, and more time in the living room with us.

I know it’s too soon to bank it. But after a few days it seemed that it was helping. I pray that it continues. You see, I’m in love with my dog and want her to be happy. She was miserable the last two months. Now she’s back where she was prior to April. I’m hoping to see it move to a new level.

Perhaps yesterday was an indication of the goal being met. I was working on editing an audio book and she spent about three hours sitting next to me on the couch while I clacked on the keyboard and listened to the edits on my headphones. No way that would have happened even three months ago. It’s almost as though she’s getting past the cloud of anxiety and enjoying the love that’s been there all along.

I won’t preach about mental health and medication to you. Not my place. But given the change these medications have made in many people I know, and what they seem to be doing for my dog, I’d encourage you to seek professional help if you suffer from anxiety.

That itchy skin is no fun for anyone..

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Assault on Saint Agnes is now available. Just click this link to find all the options! (I recommend the autographed copy. It’s cheaper than from the big stores, I scribble in it, and you get it mailed within 5 days. We all win.

When you finish reading any book (especially mine) please review it at www.amazon.com, www.barnesandnoble.com, and www.goodreads.com. Your review increases the chances of someone looking for a new book greatly. Authors appreciate your review, even if it is just “I thought this was a good read and will give it to my dog to chew. I especially liked the ending, because it made me feel better when he killed all of the main characters. (no spoilers, please)” Those few words (more than 20, fewer than 1,000 is ideal), and a 1-5 rating, make or break how the search engines find us. Thanks in advance.

Move Along, Nothing To See Here. Islam Is Cool. It’s Those Christian Gun Nuts You Have To Worry About.

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I’m pleased to report that none of my weapons have killed anyone today, not even the axe or the very sharp knives in the drawer. You’d think that they just randomly hop out of the safe, check to make sure I’m still a conservative Christian, and then proceed to hurt people when you listen to the losers on the television. Some of those weapons are way behind on their quota since I’m a Life Member of the National Rifle Association. Oh, and I don’t let children play with my weapons, leave them where the dog might shoot me, or drink and shoot.

Please follow me on Twitter, and “Like” the Facebook author page. Don’t forget to subscribe (the box is on the right side of the page) to be eligible for free e-books and other benefits! Oh yeah – grab a copy of Assault on Saint Agnes if you’re of a mind.

However, the death cult known as Islam has once again trotted out it’s broadly diverse ideology and killed a whole bunch of people in Orlando. They didn’t even bake a cake for their victims. I guess they left it out in the rain.

Mind you, it’s thrown the media into a tailspin: do we protect Islam, or mourn the other minority in the bar? *(It was actually a two-fer for those counting, and a major part of the grievance industry is counting. It was Latin night at the local Gay bar. You have to get up early to make sure you feel badly about which minority group was worse off. I’m not counting here when there was an act of terrorism against innocent victims: they were murdered by a terrorist. But I’m sure MSNBC will have it all sorted out soon.)*

Me? I’m fine with gay bars, Latin music/people (sorry if that leaves out anyone who self-identifies as something of a mix here) and the right to bear arms. I’m not okay with the President pushing gun control over a terrorist act. I wonder about That guy.

The shooter on Sunday morning was a fellow who’d cropped up twice before in terrorism investigations. He worked as a security guard, and thus flew under some color of authority (that’s a legal term, not a racial remark.) He called the 911 dispatcher and wanted to make sure ISIS got the credit. But it wasn’t an Islamic terrorist attack, so don’t jump to that conclusion.

Meanwhile, back in the real universe, I’d like to point out that a room full of unarmed victims makes for a tempting target. You don’t see much of this at a gun show, or pistol range (with the tragic exception of Chris Kyle) as all those armed people tend to shoot back rather promptly.

It’s pretty clear that the gubmint isn’t really capable of protecting us with the current catch-and-release program for terrorism suspects. (Yes, I have read the Constitution. Just seems we keep seeing the same pattern over and over and nothing much changes.) Perchance, just maybe, a few more weapons in the hands of trained individuals of a less virulent social system than Islam might make a difference some time down the road.

Then again, what do I know…. yeah. I know Islam. That putrid stench that throws gay people off rooftops, blames women for their rape, and perpetuates a social construct where doubting their system results in your death.

Other than that, I’m just another extremist.

Excuse me, I have to go check my gun safe and make sure those silly revolvers aren’t plotting anything.
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Assault on Saint Agnes is now available. Just click this link to find all the options! (I recommend the autographed copy. It’s cheaper than from the big stores, I scribble in it, and you get it mailed within 5 days. We all win.

When you finish reading any book (especially mine) please review it at www.amazon.com, www.barnesandnoble.com, and www.goodreads.com. Your review increases the chances of someone looking for a new book greatly. Authors appreciate your review, even if it is just “I thought this was a good read and will give it to my dog to chew. I especially liked the ending, because it made me feel better when he killed all of the main characters. (no spoilers, please)” Those few words (more than 20, fewer than 1,000 is ideal), and a 1-5 rating, make or break how the search engines find us. Thanks in advance.

#Freebooks In A Splendid Giveaway Of Assault On Saint Agnes

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Goodreads Book Giveaway

Assault on Saint Agnes by Joseph Courtemanche

Assault on Saint Agnes

by Joseph Courtemanche

Giveaway ends June 18, 2016.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

Enter Giveaway

Under A Withering Sun: A Book Review (5 Stars *****)

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This summer, in conjunction with my novel debut, I decided to read all of the winners of the Athanatos Christian Writing Contest. So far, nothing less than a four-star review for anything any of my publisher’s authors have written. I’m really proud to be with Athanatos, because they publish real books for real Christians. The ones you work with, meet at the bar, go to church with, and are married to for the past five years. Yes, flawed beings. No Pollyanna nonsense from this house.

One of the coolest books I’ve read in some time is Chaka Heinze’s work, Under a Withering Sun. Unless your pastor told you that it was a work of redemptive/Christian fiction, you’d think you’d stumbled into some very urban literature. And it’s really a good read.

Under a Withering Sun

Under a Withering Sun

Please follow me on Twitter, and “Like” the Facebook author page. Don’t forget to subscribe (the box is on the right side of the page) to be eligible for free e-books and other benefits! Oh yeah – grab a copy of Assault on Saint Agnes if you’re of a mind.

My apologies to Chaka for the picture, but I stole it from her Amazon author page.

Chaka Heinze

Chaka Heinze

I didn’t want to take any pictures from Twitter – that’s too easy!

So, as always, here’s my completely unconventional book review of a very unconventional Christian book.

Under A Withering Sun Will Sear Your Mind – Urban Christian Fiction, A New Genre, Has Been Launched

Chaka Heinze has found a unique voice in the world of Christian fiction. Authentically flawed and beautiful, just like most of us are in real life. What I enjoyed the most was the two voices in the story. There is a very distinct change part way through the book if your ear is in tune. I hope it is: it’s worth the effort to detect it and enjoy it.

This is a woman who attends my church. She works three desks over from me. She helps me feed the homeless at a church we both ran across I our travels, but to which neither of us belong. She and I have never met. But it is written by a writer with an unusual and vibrant voice. It is the kind of fiction that Christian literature absolutely screams out for, and yet I was stunned to see only two reviews of this beautiful book on Amazon. I’m hopefully the third, and the first of a new wave of readers.

This book came out in 2013 and has languished in silence. What a tragedy. If you’re looking for a book for your teenage children to read and discuss with you, this might be the one. It can speak to a different audience than most Christian fiction, and it will not cause a diabetic coma. Yes, there is some scripture in the book, but it is quoted in the way that many of my friends use it in their daily lives. It’s not a forced evangelizing, but a natural extension of their faith and value system.

Well developed characters, a good ear for dialogue, and one unforgettable character named Mick. I heartily endorse this book, and it would make an excellent addition to any summer reading program at a church, but should be accompanied with a discussion forum. There are a few adult themes in the book, but no explicit sexual content. All of it well done and appropriate to the story.

Thank you, Chaka Heinze, for your novel. I greatly enjoyed it.

Just F.Y.I. I’ve never met Chaka, my publisher doesn’t know I’m even writing this, and I never shill for money or payback. As a matter of fact, I’ve only exchanged a few instant messages with her on Facebook.

But what a book. Go grab a copy and enjoy a great summer read.

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Assault on Saint Agnes is now available. Just click this link to find all the options! (I recommend the autographed copy. It’s cheaper than from the big stores, I scribble in it, and you get it mailed within 5 days. We all win.

When you finish reading any book (especially mine) please review it at www.amazon.com, www.barnesandnoble.com, and www.goodreads.com. Your review increases the chances of someone looking for a new book greatly. Authors appreciate your review, even if it is just “I thought this was a good read and will give it to my dog to chew. I especially liked the ending, because it made me feel better when he killed all of the main characters. (no spoilers, please)” Those few words (more than 20, fewer than 1,000 is ideal), and a 1-5 rating, make or break how the search engines find us. Thanks in advance.

Taking A Shot At Offending Everyone Today.

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I’ve had such a good run that I’m going to risk being myself for a blog post. Before I cheese off all the new people, thank you for stopping by. Seems a few thousand made a visit to read the Memorial Day tribute below. I hope you keep coming back, because you never know when I’ll say something useful again.

First, a whole bunch of you that read this mess have read Assault on Saint Agnes. Thank you. If you have not yet reviewed it, hit this link and do it right now. I’m sitting just 37 reviews below my goal – it’s a big deal to hit 100 reviews on Amazon. Doesn’t matter if you bought it here, or Barnes and Noble, or any other source: review it on Amazon. They’re the 500 pound gorilla in the room and it will help my sales figures in a logarithmic leap.

Please follow me on Twitter, and “Like” the Facebook author page. Don’t forget to subscribe (the box is on the right side of the page) to be eligible for free e-books and other benefits! Oh yeah – grab a copy of Assault on Saint Agnes if you’re of a mind.

Now, on to gorillas…

First up is the dead one in Ohio. I’m sure it will be a matter of days before a Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young cover band in Berkeley does a cover of Ohio with the names changed to inflame the stupid.

So that I don’t confuse any of the feeble-minded who were rooting for the ape, and against the mother, I’d like to clarify: It was an innocent four-year old child. If the ape didn’t die, the child probably would have. End of argument.

I know some of you are now furiously organizing a boycott of this blog. Tough. The mother, it seems, lost track of her child in a busy place. Happens all the time. Trust Santa on that one. I sit and watch it happen every time I’m at the mall in my special chair. Nothing malicious about it, just happens. In this case an extremely strong primate got hold of the child and the only course of action open was to shoot to kill the ape, or risk the child’s death.

For those of you now adding an extra dose of venom to your loathing of me, I’m willing to bet you’ve never had to kill anything in your lives. Tofu does not rend your child’s limbs from their body, and hot yoga does not produce the rush of Adrenalin that the ape felt when it got a new toy and people started screaming. Sometimes you have to make a judgement, and this one was right on the money. Tranquilizers don’t always perform to expectation. Most drugs are influenced by the patient’s mood, level of agitation, and body chemistry. I (who does resemble a silver back) had this experience in the emergency room once upon a time. I was given the “normal” amount of pain killer for a shattered leg. It was as effective as a baby aspirin. Thankfully a doctor overrode the protocol and gave me 10x the suggested dose. That’s what it took to take away the agony and calm me down.

Are you willing to risk the ape having the same reaction? If so, let’s arrange for you to start at the other end of the enclosure and let me tranquilize the furry tank. I’m a really good shot, so you know I won’t miss. Shot Expert in the Navy, did I. Still shoot as well. How about it???? Any takers? Thought not.

Next gorilla: Donald Trump. Some of you probably missed his Tuesday press conference. Shame. It was a fantastic bit of theater. Invest a minute or 60 in this video and then read my thoughts below.

Wow, eh? Did you notice the reporters looking at each other and thinking, “Well, he’s a puffed jackass, but Trump doesn’t mean me.” I did. What did the audience, including some of the reporters, like about this? Trump just wasn’t taking any crap or stupidity from the reporters.

There is quite a bit of truth in what Mr. Trump said on Tuesday. Some reporters do a fantastic job, especially the ones who actually know how to write in the wake of researching the topic. Sadly, not as many of those around as you’d like to see. I happen to think it isn’t going to change, as we’re saddled with an entire generation of blow-dry narcissists in front of the camera. Strangely, that’s what the press calls Trump. He just held up the mirror today.

I’m not a huge (pronounced “youge”) fan of The Donald. But I have often wondered when it was “writ” that the press can pound on you and you’re thin-skinned if you respond with something less than servile fawning? He’s not going to do that, ever. I rather enjoy it. They thought they’d struck gold with Trump, but instead he’s their kryptonite. The average person is probably rooting for him, because they have to take it when bosses, coworkers, and everyone else starts that nonsense with them in their lives. No Mas!

Final gorilla: Hillary. Let me gently remind you that she’s a lying felon who endangered critical national interests with her private email server. If I’d done it I’d be in prison. She’s running for president. It’s not gender, age, or shrill cackles that make this an issue: she signed an NDA (Non-Disclosure Agreement) that said she’d protect classified information. Read the next paragraph carefully and you’ll fully get it if you’ve an open mind.

As Secretary of State, she had the authority/responsibility to determine the classification level of certain materials, as she did the integrated analysis of them in her job and produced a final product for the executive office. We used this term to deal with it: DECL: OADR. Stands for Declassify: Originating Agency Determination Required. You see, she could make things classified just because she said they were. She could not, however, declassify other agencies material – DECL: OADR. Consequently, she had to know what “the good stuff” looked like, and exercise due caution.

So it comes down to her being an utter imbecile or a damned liar. You pick. You can pick both, but you don’t have to do so. Either way, not fit for the Presidency.

If I’ve failed to annoy all of you, let me just say this: I hate kittens and puppies as well.

That ought to do it.

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Assault on Saint Agnes is now available. Just click this link to find all the options! (I recommend the autographed copy. It’s cheaper than from the big stores, I scribble in it, and you get it mailed within 5 days. We all win.

When you finish reading any book (especially mine) please review it at www.amazon.com, www.barnesandnoble.com, and www.goodreads.com. Your review increases the chances of someone looking for a new book greatly. Authors appreciate your review, even if it is just “I thought this was a good read and will give it to my dog to chew. I especially liked the ending, because it made me feel better when he killed all of the main characters. (no spoilers, please)” Those few words (more than 20, fewer than 1,000 is ideal), and a 1-5 rating, make or break how the search engines find us. Thanks in advance.