In War: Resolution. In Defeat: Defiance. In Victory: Magnanimity. In Peace: Goodwill

I’m writing this as the results come in. The quote is from Sir Winston Churchill. I abide by it.

As I pointed out four years ago, no tanks in the streets tomorrow. Count your blessings that you can head to slumber in full confidence of this fact.

Some observations about the election:

The press shamed themselves. First they promoted Trump for the show, and to wreck the other Republicans. Well, they got their wish. At the end, not a nice word was to be found about him in the local fish-wrapper. I will not name them, except to say they’ve been known as “The Red Star” since I was a youth. Odious swine, including most of their colleagues on television.

The Republican party, especially the leadership among elected officials, also shamed themselves. They did not keep their pledge. Nor did the back their man. Louts. All of them. Except Reince. His was a lonely road. He is to be applauded.

The pundits. Tonight they are all agog over the results. Brian Williams, who was under sniper fire with Hillary in Rhodesia during the Second World War if I remember correctly, said “Nobody counted yard signs!” Really, doofus? For the sake of all… I counted them. My friend Bob counted them. The response from our liberal friends was that yard signs are not effective and a waste of money and it showed that Hillary! was smarter than Donald. I will continue to laugh for weeks. No matter which one wins, the press and the pundits were all very wrong.

Bill O’Reilly. Bill, I’ve got something for you: a swift kick in the ego. You pontificating nitwit. I knew you were a windbag for years. You have ugly ties. Now go eat a grenade and give Geraldo a hug. Seriously. You are now an official parody of yourself. My, but how tiresome you have become.

Now, to the rest of you: nice job. No riots, no bad behavior. The workplace was largely civil and I enjoyed standing with my fellow citizens to vote as we waited for the polls to open.

I’ll be back with some additional thoughts very soon. Right now, the noggin is empty. (Shut up, Larry. I hear you laughing.)

No Option Left If You Wish To Save The Republic: Donald Trump

If you are a dyed-in-the-wool supporter of the most power-driven woman in history, one who throws subordinates under the bus, leaves good men to die in Benghazi (she did, in her defense, have help from Obama), and who has been shamed repeatedly by her competition with charges of corruption, then you’re probably not going to like this next bit. But don’t despair, I’ll get to Trump after the videos. I’ve not yet mentioned her shabby treatment of women who accused her husband of rape. But, we don’t want to talk about that. So, how about we stick to the serial lying? The video gets the point across:

Before I go any further, I’d like to talk to my friends who will be voting third party. I know some of you are doing so in protest. It’s about as effective as protesting gravity at this point. Frankly, if you have not been politically involved all along the process, and just bitch and moan today about how stupid both are so you’ll vote for one of the others, you have nobody to blame but yourself tomorrow.

If you are planning on this, and have not been involved all along in a third party based on ideological principles of that party, today you either deposit one in the pot or move on mutely to be quiet for the next four years. Vote for one of them. Yes, the lesser of two evils. Because “none of the above” isn’t going to win, and the two who are flipping the coin are not impressed with your protest. Pick a side. Either side. But pick one. The only thing that you get in the middle of the road is run over.

Back to Hillary.

If she was to enlist in the military this morning… she wouldn’t be let in even if she was 22, perfect shape, and ready to go. Why? Because she’d never get a security clearance based on her blatant misuse of classified documents. She couldn’t even maintain the computer the email was typed on. She is completely untrustworthy, and never will be. She has demonstrated her contempt for the citizens of this country over and over, lying to congress and the public.

No way, Jose.

Donald J. Trump is a vulgar man who has a lot of money. He’s blunt, he says a lot of things that get misconstrued. He says some things that are just dumb. But there is a hope that he will be helped to lead, blocked if he screws up, and exiled in 4 years if he fails. He will not fundamentally change this nation if he’s a train-wreck. He might do well. I’m not sure.

But I am sure that the rapacious woman from Chicago/Arkansas/Washington/New York is a vile creature who lets people die on her watch. A woman with contempt for the military. A woman who put our national security at risk so that she could avoid scrutiny of her email system. She’s unfit for any elected office, and unstable. Medically and emotionally.

Trump might shake a fist and bloviate, Hillary rages and throws things. She passes out and rides around in an ambulance.

I could go on, but if you’ve made it this far you have to make a choice:

Vote for her, knowing she’s a liar and a thief.

Vote for him, knowing that he’s a boor, but has the potential to follow the constitution.

Vote for none of the above, and elect her.

If you don’t vote for him because he’s not a good Christian, you’re going to elect her. A woman who holds no spiritual belief beyond a firm stance in favor of very-late-term-abortion, and her own divinity.

The reality is, he’s a jerk, she’s a menace. Jerks win over menaces every time when you have to pick someone to leave the kids with on Saturday when there’s an emergency and you’ve got to go to Detroit. He’s the Uncle Buck of candidates with hair that Alfalfa would have shunned.

She’s the one you leave the dog with and find out that she’s Cruella de Vil dressed in frumpy clothes and shower curtains stolen from a Motel 6 where Bill stayed on his way to pedophile island.

Trump try to be everyone’s president if they’re a citizen, or become one. I know that chafes some of you, but this election is for legal citizens.

She’ll be out for blood right away. She’s got a long history of that kind of behavior. Whoa be unto those who have crossed her.

Your choice. I’ll be able to hold my head up either way. Until I’m sent to the camp.

If you think that is a step too far, I hope you’re right. I suspect my taxes will be audited, my reputation sullied, and my dog is already thinking of shaving.

Dear Mr. Trump

Mr. Trump:

I wanted to write this letter before I cast my vote tomorrow. It’s been a long election season, and as a nation it’s been rough. I didn’t want to miss this final chance to get your attention as a private citizen in the event you win the election.

A little background might help you with the context. I’m a former cop. Didn’t do it for long, just a year. But I did get the degree in Law Enforcement and went through a fun-filled sixteen week academy. I also have a degree in Political Science, and am a total history and politics junkie. I am a nerd as well, with a third degree, and a bunch of certificates, in computer science and telecommunications. Finally, I held a military job as an intelligence collector/analyst and held the highest level of clearance you can have. I have a great deal of respect for the proper treatment of classified information.

Additionally I’m a Christian, married to the same woman for 30+ years, have a rescue dog, and do some acting on the side. The author thing? Yeah, one award-winning novel.

So here’s a list of reasons why I’m granting you the privilege of occupying the White House. Please pay attention, as you will be working for me and 330 million of my fellow citizens. If you *#@& it up, I’ll be writing more letters. Only fair, I plan on doing the same to your opponent if she steals… wins the election.

Abortion. I’m fairly impressed with your stand. You’ve had a change of heart on the issue. She’s more offensive than ever on the topic. She endorses late term abortion, up until the moment the baby emerges from the womb. I have two good friends that are respected doctors: both say that there is no medical condition that requires killing the baby once you’re past about 26 weeks. None. She’s in favor of it, you aren’t.

Classified material. I’ll be blunt: she’s a lying felon who should be in prison. Nobody I know, and I know a lot of people who have/have held a top secret clearance, would have been allowed to stay free until their trial given what she’s done. The mere fact that she set up a clandestine email system to avoid the Freedom of Information Act, and then used it was a felony. The fact that classified material was sent that way is an additional felony every time you do it. It was hundreds, or even thousands of times. Jail for life, Donald. She has rigged the system. You’re right. Intent doesn’t matter, the act is what counts. I know you have not had access to classified material until recently. You haven’t mishandled any as far as I know, and I’m sure Hillary would have let us know, so keep it that way. People lose their lives when felons like Hillary get hold of that power.

Campaign funding. I’m going way back to 2008 and her scandals then. Her opponent, the guy who’s POTUS right now, slammed her for her ethics regularly. I remember some waiters donating big bucks to her campaign. You, well, you really can’t be bought. You’ve got a ton of your own money. She’d sell her grandchild for the right figure. Let’s hope Abuela doesn’t get an offer from the Saudi’s for the kid, or the line: “How much for the little girl?” wont’ just be a line from The Blues Brothers.

She’s abused more women that I know of than you have. You’re a crude man on occasion. I’ve only recently become aware of just how bad you can be. Her? I knew about her merciless selling out of women since the whole fun-fest that Bill’s exploits brought. She called Lewinsky a stalker. James Carville suggested that one of the women who accused Bill of rape
was trailer trash and a prostitute. I don’t remember Hillary leaping to her defense. Back to the Saudi’s: she takes their loot and they subjugate women to an extent almost nobody outside the Taliban can top. Yup, she’s a real champion of women. You, Mr. Trump, put your money where your mouth is and have a number of women high up in your company. I understand that you also pay them well. Versus Mrs. Clinton paying lower wages to her women.

You have promised to drain the swamp. She embodies all that is wrong with politics in the United States.

Benghazi. She lied about what triggered it and was complicit in letting those men die. You seem to be a friend of the military. Not even a question. You’re the guy on this one.

Voting for her is voting for a felon awaiting indictment. It’ll never happen, but she’s as dirty as can be, and the Clinton Foundation is ripe for a RICO. Sunday Comey said no new info on the Weiner hard drive. Again, the mere fact that the information was sent on a clandestine server is a multiple felony. I also loved the news today that she had her freaking maid printing out and faxing classified information. Her maid. Sweet hopping… Enough. I won’t put up with four years of that if I can avoid it.

You have promised to pursue term-limits. I’ll spare you her history of backing long-term politicians with one exception: She was very fond of Byrd, a former Klan member who died rather unrepentant. He was still using the “N” word until the year before he died. She honored him as a great leader at the time of his death. Yup, she’s all about change.

My hope, Mr. Trump, is that you tone down the exaggerations and outright lies that sometimes fall into your dialogue as you campaign. It’s not becoming at all. You don’t need it in any way. Be honest. Call a wood plank a wood plank, and don’t embellish. She’s an amazing liar. She lies through her teeth and gets caught over and over again, but just forges on in hopes that people will tire of it. I’m done with her. You still have a way to go. Get on it.

Build a wall. It’s a sovereign nation and I want our borders intact. She’s looking for open borders. I like being an American. She’s evidently not all that fond of our national identity.

Put your business in your kid’s hands (Donald or Eric, don’t care which. Ivanka would be a good choice as well) and let them run it while you have the executive job. Keep your nose clean and don’t mix business and government: she’s shown us how that works out.

Keep on hammering on the corruption.

You’re not perfect, but she’s abysmal. I am hoping that you blow the rot out of the pipes.

I also hope that you will set up an informal council of people to advise you who are like me. Random names picked from the phone books across the nation. Fly them to the White House in groups of three. Ask what they think. Keep in touch with the people. Don’t become isolated. Don’t pander to popularity and getting the next election. Do the right thing.

I suspect I’m an unlikely candidate for your cabinet, but if you front me the plane ticket and a hotel, I’m available for consultations when needed. I know a bit about the Middle East. And baking. I’m a good cook. Most of all, I’m an American who’s sick to death of the corrupt machine that is politics. I’m on your side until you really annoy me. Feel free to call. I’d love to help my nation become great again.

Respectfully,

Joseph Courtemanche
11-07-2016

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Come back tomorrow for a vintage rant. I’m way overdue.

Well, Who Did You Expect?

This week I’ve been using flash fiction as a tool in the blog. It proves two things: I can write fiction outside my genre and do it justice, and I can teach without using a big stick. I’m sure you’ve appreciated the lack of ranting and a couple of good yarns in its place.

Today we conclude the fiction part of the blog before the election. Monday will be deadly serious. Tuesday a final plea for reason before you head to the polls.

I appreciate your visiting. I hope our nation prospers and all citizens are treated fairly and with the law observed. All of them. If you were to ask my friends, they’d tell you that I’ve opined that most of our leaders have strayed from the path the founders set out. It’s as good a time as any to try and swing this back where it belongs. It won’t be fun, but it will be good for your integrity.

Without further ado…

************* ************ ************ *************** **************** ************

F.B.I. Headquarters, WASHINGTON D.C. OCTOBER 25th, 2016 1431

The meeting in the director’s office was a small group: just the very top level investigators on the Weiner, classified email, and Clinton Foundation cases. Seven people around the polished stone table top, the lower half of the table empty as three of the invitees could not attend.

Empty until a small glass jar materialized at the other end of the table. It was quickly followed by the sturdy form of Ronald Reagan, vintage 1984. Including the brown suit.

Reagan grabbed the folders in front of him and began flipping through them while Comey tried to wrap the meeting up and get everyone out of the room. Six minutes later he’d promised them his decision within the next four hours.

Shaking one last hand, he closed the door and proceeded to his desk. He grabbed a bottle of water from his refrigerator and held it up for the President to see.

“Sounds good. These jelly beans need a little motivation to go down. I’ve certainly missed them. And having a working body. It’s been a long time. You know, Jim, the 5th of June has a lot of meaning for me. Just as the troops were loading the ships for D-day in Europe, and as the date I finally shed my prison on earth. It’s nice to be back in working order.”

Comey set down his bottle and opened them both. “Mr. President, I’m surprised to see you. I just had a visitor before lunch.”

Reagan shook his head. “I know. Dick was already fabricating stories about his trip back here. Pat was always gracious. Him.. well, you know the eleventh commandment. But time is short and I drew the short straw: you’re still on the fence.”

“Yes, Mr. President. But I have a question first. I expected you to be as you were at death, you know…”

Reagan crinkled his face in laughter. Wiping away a tear he finished the sentence, “And Nixon was raving? He was like that after Watergate. It drove him around the bend. Not certifiable, but very paranoid. I was trapped in my own mind, Jim. Alzheimer’s is an awful thing. But inside I never lost it. Washington gets his teeth, I get my movie star looks and sanity. God’s pretty generous about his messengers.”

Comey’s jaw dropped. “I can’t believe God cares about our election one whit, Mr. President.”

Reagan strolled around the office, popping a handful of jelly beans into his mouth one by one. “I thought you were a man of thought on that topic. Or did your bio get misprinted? Of course He cares. Doesn’t he want us to be moral and have good leaders? Doesn’t he want us to protect life and preserve the law when it’s just. Jim, I said we were a shining city on a hill for a reason. It’s true.”

Reagan sat down in the chair next to James Comey. “Donald trump is a jerk. I’m not a fan. But he’s more likely to actually do no harm than she is given the past. He’s never endangered secrets. He’s a business person, and he cuts it near the edge from time-to-time. But she’s so far into the gray zone that it’s pitch black. I promise you trouble if she’s elected. Him? I promise you stalemate at the very worst. Tip O’Neill might be dead, but there are some mean so-and-so types in Congress who will stall him out if he’s dangerous. Same with the press. On the other hand, she’ll be unfettered. That’s a chilling thought.”

Comey nodded. It was almost there: the resolution he needed.

“Jim, there’s one final thing. The thing that trumps it all, pardon the pun: The clandestine server. You know, and a lot of others suspect, that it was hacked by our enemies. All of those insecure emails with TOP SECRET information were put out there for the black hats to find. Given what damage they might do, do you really need anything more to pull the plug on her? I know why you didn’t act in July. It was dishonorable to hope someone else would do your dirty work for you and you were wrong to expect it to come to fruition. Those emails cost us treasure and blood. Our secret methods are in the hands of our enemies. Agents have been killed – you know it. We will have to spend billions to replace the compromised systems. Her flagrant violation of the law exposed other classified traffic to being broken. They had it in the email and they saw the date-time stamp on the thing. All they had to do was crack the traffic backwards that went out at that time. So now the NSA has to develop new crypto systems, figure out what was compromised, and fix it. Billions and trillions of dollars.”

“Mr. President, she isn’t the only one to have ever done this kind of thing. How can I prosecute her and not go after the others?”

Steel settled into Reagan’s eyes. “I’m disappointed in you, son. Are any of the others running for president? Is the statute of limitations up on those others? Are you one of her myrmidons? Seriously: there’s no justice except what we do from this day forward. No time machine yet, and don’t hold your breath waiting for one. You can’t fix the past, Jim. So take care of the future by acting here and now.”

Reagan settled back in his chair and snapped another couple of jelly beans into his mouth. “It is a shining city on the hill, Jim. But if you don’t do something now, in the next four hours as you promised, it might be as big a ruin as Rome. This beacon, this light of liberty, shall not be extinguished so easily. But you are the keeper of the flame. That’s what I came to tell you.”

Reagan stood, filled his pocket with the remaining jelly beans and strode toward the window. “Now man up, Comey. Time to tear down this wall.”

James Comey walked back to his desk, sat down, and opened a computer file marked “congressionalletter.doc.” Typing for just a few minutes, he made the changes he needed and attached it to an email. With a snap of his wrist, he hit the send key.

Relaxing in the chair, he scrubbed his face with the palms of his hands. “I hope that’s what He wants. Ironic: undone by the same digital too that will bring her down in the end.”

Powering down the workstation he grabbed his water bottle and headed to the gym. Time to man up.

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I hope you’ve enjoyed this weeks fiction. If so, hit the link and buy a copy of Assault on Saint Agnes. It helps pay the bills around here.

See you Monday.

Role Models Are Sometimes Painful.

For those of you who don’t want to participate in political discussions, or are such special snowflakes that you might melt in the face of strong opinion, this may be the week for you to head over to the Huffington Post and Salon. This will not be a venue you wish to frequent. I’ll be sorry to see you go, hope you’ll be back on the tenth of November, but probably won’t lose a lot of sleep over it if you label me and delete the bookmark from your browser. (On Netscape, which I suspect you’re still using if you’re taking that path, the control you’re looking for is on the upper right.)

So, fair warning: it’s pretty political from here on in until the election is over. I’ll put the rest below the fold.

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