I’m thinking about asking for a refund on my package deal to be a famous author. Mind you, it’s early on, but I was sure there were more benefits to this and my life would be a much easier trek once I was available on Amazon.com.
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Today was a great example. When I got up, I still had to brush my own teeth and turn the alarm off before putting Stormy out. I realized no coffee was waiting for me either, so I had to make that or go without.
The laundry? Well, just like for the last 31 years I had to do that myself. I had brought the first basket down on Sunday before the launch. It was still there in the basement waiting today when I went down to check on the books I’d purchased to autograph. (Yeah, you do go look once in a while to see if it’s real.)
It also seems that public officials are not impressed with publishing status. The city permit inspector had the gall to ask me to get a permit for my new fence. Didn’t he know? (I didn’t know. I thought that if it was under six feet it was no permit. Not in Saint Paul. Everything requires a permit.)
The people at the permit office had obviously heard of me, and thus expedited my application with a minimal fee and smiles. They knew who they were dealing with and acted accordingly. I think.
Stormy didn’t seem overly impressed, either. In fact, she demanded I take her to the beauty salon so her butt could be shaved for the warm months. I complied.
Last, but not least, I got a hilarious four star review from an anonymous reviewer. It took me thirty minutes to figure out who it was and laugh all over again. Protect the innocent with anonymity is well and good, but it would help my ratings if the Pop… well, better not name the person who did the review. Let’s just say I was flattered to get such a glowing review from someone I consider to be a superstar.
You see, or maybe not, how it goes. I’m living the Rodney Dangerfield experience and I was assured that it would all be roses from here on.
Come to think of it, I wouldn’t have it any other way. This is just what I wanted.
Thank you all for your part in this voyage. Most especially, thank you for taking the time to write the reviews. They are the most important thing you can do. If you read it, review it. I look forward to your input.
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Assault on Saint Agnes is now available. Just click this link to find all the options! (I recommend the autographed copy. It’s cheaper than from the big stores, I scribble in it, and you get it mailed within 5 days. We all win.
When you finish reading any book (especially mine) please review it at www.amazon.com, www.barnesandnoble.com, and www.goodreads.com. Your review increases the chances of someone looking for a new book greatly. Authors appreciate your review, even if it is just “I thought this was a good read and will give it to my dog to chew.” *That’s a 4 star review!* Those few words, and a 1-5 rating, make or break how the search engines find us. Thanks in advance.
I have a favor to ask of my readers: would you kindly share this blog with your friends, family, and colleagues? We hit 2 million views in 2016, and while the readership continues a nice growth trend, it could be a lot better. Just hit the Facebook like button, share it on your timeline, tweet the blog with a link, and tell that person at the next desk that there’s this lunatic who writes about all sorts of stuff that they might like.
I appreciate your help.