NOTE: If you choose not to read this series I understand. I will resume normal posts on December 8th.

This is part 6 of the toughest post I’ve ever put up on this blog. As you read it you will see why: it details the final week in the life of my beloved dog, Maisie. This is set to go up on the web during the week after we have her put down. I know I won’t be up to writing anything new for a few days.

I started writing this on Friday of the week before her death. When I woke up Saturday I knew there was much more to say and decided to make it a journal of my thoughts and feelings during that last week of our lives together. Her life is so intertwined with mine that where her gray butt begins and my gray beard ended was often indistinguishable. One big lump on the couch, one snoring mass on the bed, one contented ball of fur and drool on the carpet, and one love so deep that my head explodes when I think about it now.

Please hold us in your prayers. There are three grieving souls at this minute and one who’s gone on to wait ahead for us. Because if Jesus can count the feathers on a bird, I know He certainly has a fresh bowl of kibble and some water for a Sheltie. He’ll take good care of her until we can join her down the road.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2012

Whether you know it or not, when you accept a dog into your life you are making a bargain with God. You are promising Him that you will treat this new creature well and in return He’ll provide you with an unlimited supply of love. If you don’t show that good treatment and love toward the dog, the dog will probably still love you, just like God. But it may grow to fear you, or hate you, or even want to hurt you if the treatment is bad enough and the dog is strong enough. And that is a leavening that I think God put there to teach us some lessons in our lives.

But for most of us the bargain is kept and the dog is our friend and our partner through every stupid thing we do in this life. And they love us no matter how block-headed or revolting we might be to the rest of the humans around us. To them, we’re the only thing that matters in the world.

Maisie is like that with me. I have been blessed to live with some very fine dogs in my life. I quit trying to own dogs years ago. They are much more than objects to me, they are companions. And my reward has been an unending shower of love accompanied by more than a bit of hair on the couch.

I look at her and wince when she walks around the house. Her gait is horrendous, her joints swollen, and she has to stop for a break more often than ever before. Until very recently she’s been getting around well enough where I would watch her and evaluate her as still enjoying the journey. That slowly trailed off as the walking became more painful and her mobility was degraded.

But every morning when I came home from work she’d wake up and walk to wherever I was in the room. And if I moved, she’d follow. Same thing if I was out running around town and came home to find them in the yard. She’d hobble over to greet me, sitting in the middle of the sidewalk so that I couldn’t get by without stopping to rub her nose.

That movement, that honoring of me, cost her dearly. It hurt. Plain and simple. But she showed that love and respect every time I was in the zone of her senses. Do you honor anyone like that? Do you get up off the couch and walk to the opposite side of the room when your spouse walks in? Do you do that for anyone in the world? I suspect that nobody does it every time. And yet she does that for me.

No other animal in my life has so deeply clung to me and loved me. I am truly humbled by the outpouring of love she’s lavished on my soul for 10 years. I am unworthy of it some days. I am too busy to “mess” with “the dog” and need to get on my way. And now with her time running out I wish I had a lifetime to return the compliment to this little girl who has captured my heart.

I’m not unworthy. I know, deep down, that I’ve done the best job I could in loving her. And the hardest part of that love comes on Thursday morning at 11. I have to let my friend go for the last time. There will be no second chance to get it right.

On the top step with my girl. It's a mutual feeling.

While I sit here reading the proof of this post she’s hobbled over to lay under the computer desk and be near me. I am blessed to have such a friend in this life.

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