I watched the Pentagon briefing the other day and couldn’t decide if I wanted to laugh, throw stuff at the screen, or mock the imbeciles in the press. I have now made up my mind and the first two choices didn’t seem to fit.

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It would probably be sad if any of them had ever been in the military, as that would indicate some sort of head trauma that caused them to be that drifty. In that case, I wouldn’t be mocking them. But none of the morons who asked questions had ever served. That was painfully obvious.

Oh, and the picture of Stormy was random. I have heard that pictures draw interest to a blog. But, I digress.

I will paraphrase the question, and then give my answer. My apologies to General Dunford. He’s too much of a gentleman to answer like I do.

Question: Are these Special Forces soldiers taking too many risks?

Answer: Are you a moron. These guys live for this stuff. They’re really good at it. They volunteered. Look up “adrenaline junkie” and “professional soldier” and you’ll find a picture of them. They know their limits. I don’t think they reach them very often, and when they do, they let us know.

Question: Were they wearing body armor?

Answer: I don’t know. But it’s hotter than hell where they’re operating, they’re working with troops that don’t have body armor, and I’d guess probably not. They don’t have a bunch of risk-averse mommy types like you screwing up their day and making them wear their raincoats if it gets cloudy.

Question: Why haven’t we heard about these operations before?

Answer: Jeebus. We brief on this stuff all the time. It’s even in our Twitter feed. But you clowns only run from fire to fire, and so when nothing bad happens you don’t care. Your contempt for our world is just freaking fabulous.

Question: General, isn’t this Trump’s Benghazi?

Answer: Now I know the short bus is outside. No. This isn’t a consulate being attacked and ignored for almost a day by a National Command Authority that ignored Flash traffic about the incident. This was a bunch of Green Berets who were working in the middle of nowhere and things went to hell. We’re still trying to find out exactly what happened, but our guys got killed so it’s going to take a while to get the answers. But once we knew there was an issue, we moved heaven and earth to help them. We don’t, by the way, wake the President up every time there’s a fire fight anywhere in the world. But then again, he wasn’t heading to Vegas to fundraise, so we would have told him if it was warranted.

Question: Given the controversy about his call of condolence to the widow, isn’t this just emblematic of President Trump’s disparaging of the military?

Answer: Gunnery Sergeant: go do knife hands on that idiot.

That’s all I can stomach from you twits. If you have any real questions, give them to the Lance Corporal here, and she’ll kick your butt for me.

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Thank you, General Dunford. You’re a better man than I.

 

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