Yeah, kind of lame. But I promised to resume normal posts on the 8th. So I have one more day to be abnormal. The contest for the used bedsheets and fruitcake is now open. I will accept entries via the comments feature from subscribers only for 1 week, contest closing on December 14, 2012 at 2359 Central time.

*(Hint: subscribing is free. Go to the upper right side of this page and follow the instructions. It’s the little box marked “Subscribe.” You get your daily blog post via email. You might win used (but clean) slippery sheets and a fruitcake. What are you waiting for?)*

Include your name, your phone number, and 2 reasons why you deserve used sheets and a fruitcake for Christmas. I will not post the comment until I take out your information. (Promise, double pinky-swear.) There will be extra credit given for the really amusing and sarcastic ones. Keep it clean, people, this is a family blog.

While you think about your reasons, consider a new vacation venue this year: North Korea! To think I’ve been wasting my time going to Las Vegas, San Francisco, Reno, Naples, Belize, and Des Moines. Pyongyang, here I come. Man, and to think Reno claims to be the bowling capital of the world.

(Say hello to the Dear Leader’s most recent ruling relative for me when you’re there. He’ll be the only one not observing “National Famine Week.”)

Link to the propaganda video. It’s really bad. Especially Boris Slobatnatakov’s accent. Also, extra points if you can identify the part of the brain damaged by watching this more than once. (Hint: The woman from San Francisco subscribes to the youtube.com channel for North Korea.)