I know that you’re probably wondering what this moron is doing now. Simple, I have observed some things that just aren’t right and need to be addressed.
Let’s start out easy and get to the really tough ones later.
McDonalds bags. I know that the good people at the counter/window of your favorite burger joint are trying to eliminate the need for you to juggle multiple bags when they jam it all into the bag most able to handle the load.
The problem is, and I say this having lived in a cold climate for a very long time, that if you can’t shut the bag by rolling the top, the top layer gets cold. And what’s always on the top layer? Fries. Nobody likes cold fries except Chewy.
So, Golden Arches people, give me two bags for that order and let me close them properly. That’s what your competition at White Castle does. They’ve been around a lot longer than you have, so they might have it right.
Store brands versus name brands being displayed in different locations. Look, I get it: there’s a science to how things are shelved, and what locations get the best traffic/grabs from the shelf. But please don’t make me search the entire cereal section to find the store equivalent of Raisin Bran, Grape Nuts, Captain Crunch, etc. Either shelve them next to the big name product, or in a completely separate section of the shelf dedicated to the store brands. I really hate finding what I want in the middle of some other variety of product. I mean, seriously, who looks for Fruit Loops Generic in the middle of the granola section?
Gas pumps with three hoses. I vaguely remember getting a degree from some place that proves that I’m an educated idjit. But I really have to examine the multi-hose pumps with Diesel, non-ethanol, and then three grades of ethanol. The hose colors seem to vary with the chain as well. Let’s go standard here: blue for diesel, red for gasoline, and tiger-stripes of orange and purple for non-ethanol. Something. Anything. Make it somewhat easier than brain surgery for God’s sake.
Mask signs. It’s time. Take the damned sign down. I don’t wear one anyway, but I want to know if you’re going to scream at me when I walk through the door. None of your staff, and very few customers, are still wearing one, but you forgot to take them off the doors. Get hot with that razor blade and soapy water, you losers.
Quit blaming police for criminal’s bad actions and criminal actions. Yes, this one’s serious. Every time you label a cop as a racist for enforcing the law, bringing a suspect down with a Taser, or citing a speeder, you diminish the value of everyone involved. Force, violence, power projection is sometimes needed to protect the officer and the citizenry.
Bad shoots are a bad thing. If it’s done with clear malice, it’s a criminal act. If not, perhaps it’s a training issue. It’s not a given that an officer using force is wrong for doing what they’ve done.
A measured evaluation, instead of an insta-riot is what needs to happen.
Our President. I’m fluent in lots of things, and just this past week he said we’d nuclear weapons and F-15 fighters to take down the government. Yet on January 6, unarmed protestors were labeled an insurrection. (The word means protest against government, often of a violent nature.) Protesters, I might add, who were given admission into the building by the police in some cases.
How can that be if we need fighters and nukes to take down the government. And, frankly, why is the government still holding people guilty of nothing worse than trespass in jail from that event. None has been charged with insurrection. Not. A. Single. One. Strangely enough, only one person died due to the violence that day: Ahsli Babbett. She was shot by an unnamed Capitol Police officer. She was unarmed. If you’ve read this blog for very long, I’m as pro-police as it gets. But that shot was murder. Plain and simple. We need to know who the shooter was. Now.
Now, I realize that last paragraph really upset some of you. But think it through: was it a protest, or an insurrection.
Think about all the people in this country with skill and equipment that could really make for an insurrection, and ask yourself where were they that day? They were not there, in Washington, because it was a protest that got out of hand. Most likely through the agency of people opposed to the message of the protest, but willing to set fire to their own hair to make the protesters look bad.
Those are some of the wrongs that need to be righted. And, Mr. President, you work for us. Don’t forget that. Because millions of Americans took it rather personally when you made your statement. We don’t need no stinkin nukes.
So, for all of you eating cold fries, with a soggy bowl of the wrong cereal in front of you for desert, go ahead and rage. But you’re still wrong. And so is the President.
That’s all until after the Independence Day celebrations. Go be with friends and family. Eat hotdogs, light rockets, and ignore the dictators who tell you to socially distance and turn in your guns. You need no permit to be free: God issued that to you at birth within these borders.
George and the boys would approve of your actions.