There is always a fever gripping the nation about some stupid catchphrase. We’re seeing the rise of “Toxic Masculinity” at the moment. Mind you, if I wrote about toxic femininity, there would be a rush to the ramparts to pour boiling oil on my head. But it’s apparently okay to bash men in our culture.

I would like to share with you what I find good about classic masculinity. It’s a long list, so I’ll just dump a few things here for you to contemplate and toddle along home.

Men are biologically superior in strength and athletic ability. That’s a simple statement that’s borne out by science. I can lift more weight than a 59 year old woman my same height. I could lift more weight than a 20 year old woman my height when I was 20. Time and blubber diminish that ability. But over the course of time that has been the reality of this species.

As a consequence, men have been the builders, fighters, and bearers of heavy objects since the beginning of time. We also have the injuries and death rates that go with that honor. Technology has changed that to a degree, but in the main it still holds true.

I am proud to say that I have thrust myself between threats and the people I love. I have thrust myself between threats and total strangers. I hate seeing the weak being taken advantage of in my world, and won’t stand for it. That is evidently one of those traits that is toxic. Tough. I’m going to keep doing things the same way.

Men are taught to be strong emotionally. Okay. Sometimes that’s good, sometimes bad. But it has been my experience that when it has hit the fan, strong men lead the fight. I know some mighty strong women who do that as well. Being taciturn, stoic, and determined is not a gender item. But it is currently ascribed to men, so I’ll applaud it and take it for my own.

I’ve never been in a large group where I am an unknown quantity and been handed the job of thinking my way through the task at hand. But more than once I’ve been pointed at a pile of things and asked to move them. Furniture, dangerous items, you name it. And yet I would equally excel at the more cerebral parts of the endeavor.

I don’t grab women to possess them. I don’t cat-call in the streets. I don’t demean others because of their size, shape, color… etc. None of those things are part of masculinity. But we get tagged with that because it’s okay to slur an entire gender in the name of advertising.

I do barbecue. I love it. I also make jam, cookies, pies, and a pretty good chili. I’m at a loss how my liking to cook things over a fire makes me a toxic male.

I am a protector, and I nurture. Good men do both.

But when it comes down to the final mile, I’ll be picking up the sword to defend the things I love. You can’t take that away from me by shaming me with the behavior of others.

Leave men to be men. Teach little boys how to be good men, not how to be little girls with different bodies. Men need to be men, women need to be women. Doesn’t mean we aren’t equal, it just means we are different.

So, build the fires, get the pitchforks out, and boil the tar. That’s my line in the sand and I’m sticking with it until the end.

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NEW BOOK IS OUT!

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