This past weekend I was out driving a bit, and enjoyed the honor of two first-time events. I will describe them and you can enjoy the scenery with me.

First, I was on I-94 approaching Saint Paul when the clapped-out van in front of me decided that they wanted to exit to I-494 Southbound. The problem was that this moron had zoomed past the backed up traffic for the previous 1/3 of a mile, and signaled at the last second. I leave a huge idiot box around me, and so when I saw the blinker and the brake lights at the last possible place they could get over before crashing, I did what all people trained in pursuit driving would do: thought fast.

My options were limited: I could stop behind this bag of fertilizer, maybe, and then the cars behind me would rear-end my vehicle. Or, I could do some scary stuff and go for it. 

A quick glance over the shoulder as I as gearing down, told me I had about 100 yards before the car in the lane to my left arrived. So, at 40 miles an hour I clanged it down into second, popped the clutch and floored it. First time in decades (about 4 of them) that I red-lined a street vehicle. As I hit 6500 rpm, I smashed the clutch, rapped it into third, and hit 60, avoiding a collision. I was too busy saving my skin to even give them the bird as I roared past, the engine again hitting red-line before I smacked it into 6th gear. 

The second fun-fest was Sunday morning on the way to church. My wife, bless her soul, shouted “That driver’s coming at us on our side of the road!”

Yup, confused elderly driver blasting along on our sided of a divided roadway. I bailed to the left before the guy in front of me even figured out what was going on. He finally moved over behind me. Grampaw, Coke bottle glasses in place, placidly drove along with no concerns in life. I hope he didn’t kill anyone after he went around the bend.

The moral of the story? Maybe two morals – be alert and you might just save yourself from the results of someone elses horrendous driving skills/lack of skills.

Second? You won’t know the time, nor the place, when your light goes out. Be ready before you turn the key in the ignition and no matter how the drive ends, you will get to the ultimate destination.