{"id":14718,"date":"2023-11-15T16:06:50","date_gmt":"2023-11-15T22:06:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/commotioninthepews.com\/?p=14718"},"modified":"2023-11-15T16:06:53","modified_gmt":"2023-11-15T22:06:53","slug":"not-that-lane","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/commotioninthepews.com\/?p=14718","title":{"rendered":"Not That Lane!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

My daily commuting time has gone up dramatically in the last two weeks. Unlike my sedate (other than manual labor) life since retirement, I have been on the road quite a bit to be Santa in Fort Myers at Bass Pro Shop<\/a>.<\/p>\n

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Ignoring the abysmal driving I’ve observed, I’d like to focus, instead, on the wonderful people who come to take photos with me.<\/p>\n

I have been Santa for 20+ years now, and each season gets better. Perhaps because I no longer have a single thing to prove. I’ve now done every kind of event offered with two exceptions: ice skating\/skiing Santa and stripper Santa. Yes, all real, and wisely declined on my part. I desire no injury to my portly body and no videos on Instagram of me in a red thong. I will admit, however, that the money for all of the above was spectacular. Use your imaginations, but have a barf-bag ready.<\/p>\n

I have a lovely cast of elves who do their very best to make my job easier. I have NOTHING AT ALL to do with reservations, money, credit cards, or anything remotely resembling the business end of the event. Instead, I eyeball the line from my bench and determine how much time I can spend with each family, who sits where, who stands, and what questions to ask the family.<\/p>\n

Much to my delight, my paltry Spanish has been more in need this year, as there is a gigantic Cuban community that comes to visit each day I am there (I am not there every day) and it has been fun. I have been able to guide people, assuage doubts, and chuckle. I find it heartwarming when Abuela tells the kids that Santa is a cutie in Spanish in the misunderstanding that I am English only. When I quip back that it beats being ugly or fat I get some good laughs. <\/p>\n

I’ve also had occasion to speak French (not very well, mainly based on my bar-hopping as a young sailor and mission trips to Haiti – top that combo!) with a family that came to visit from France. <\/p>\n

Finally, my German is getting a workout. I have come to understand that dialect is a huge deal and my German is lacking a bit. But it still gets smiles and some chat going.<\/p>\n

If you haven’t already guessed, my heart swells a bit with each visit. The love is palpable. <\/p>\n

Oh, one final oddity and change from Minnesota: pajamas.<\/p>\n

There are huge numbers of people who do family photos in pajamas. Didn’t see that much in Minnesota. And I figured out why: you’d freeze to death crossing the parking lot in silk pajamas in Minnesota. In Fort Myers, you work up a light sweat. <\/p>\n

Now, back to shining my boots and getting ready for my next day on the bench! <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My daily commuting time has gone up dramatically in the last two weeks. Unlike my sedate (other than manual labor) life since retirement, I have been on the road quite a bit to be Santa in Fort Myers at Bass …<\/span> Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14718","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/commotioninthepews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14718","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/commotioninthepews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/commotioninthepews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/commotioninthepews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/commotioninthepews.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=14718"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/commotioninthepews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14718\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14721,"href":"https:\/\/commotioninthepews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14718\/revisions\/14721"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/commotioninthepews.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=14718"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/commotioninthepews.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=14718"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/commotioninthepews.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=14718"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}