I recently was given a gift of love that is unmatched in my life. Not the kind of romantic love that I share with my wife, nor is it the love that Christ gives me throughout the day. It isn’t even the love that my dogs give me when I ease myself down on the floor and nuzzle muzzles.
None of the above. It is the love of life and the joy of creation that only an artist can provide. That artist is Lauren Mattson. Continue reading
As many of you know, I’m a bit of a language geek. I’m not sure if I actually speak any language well these days, or if all the composite parts of the many languages slip through in my grammar and syntax. I know my vocabulary is fouled up as a result of my years as a translator and student.
This was brought home to me very clearly over the last few days. I’m doing a massive paring/edit of the book and I was revising a few pages where the Arab characters were speaking to each other. I have tried very hard not to impose Arabic on my readers. It has always been my contention that you do an injustice to people if you give them accents when writing about them speaking in their own language. It makes me really nuts to find that in a book or movie. Germans with German accents speaking English to each other at Wehrmacht Headquarters in 1943 – that sort of thing.
So in the whole book there is exactly one sentence in Arabic. English wouldn’t do for the dramatic impact I wanted to make. The Arabic had to be there. But I found something else happening in writing those scenes: the Arabs were taking on a unique cadence and voice, each different from the next. They were true characters with lives of their own. Each of them was just a bit off from the next, some way off base compared the the central character. And that was just fine. It was exactly how they would speak to each other and how their thoughts would/should appear to flow in the context. I had broken the language barrier and gone to the process that revealed their inner voice.
At least that’s my hope. Eventually the audience will decide if I made it or failed in that aspect of the book.
The title of this piece is a window into how my brain is working right now. It is a swirl of Arabic, German, Spanish, French (Creole to be precise), Russian, and English. I have had distinct moments in all of those languages in the last 24 hours with working on the book and dealing with other items in my little life. And the worst brain fryer is a television show called “Prisoners of War.” This is the show that “Homeland” is based on.
Why is it the mix-master in my head? Because it’s in Hebrew with English subtitles. And some of the characters speak in Arabic. And Hebrew and Arabic are both Semitic languages with many common triliteral-root words (Don’t click that link unless you’re ready for your own head to explode. It’s got about 10 weeks of Arabic lessons on one page), and modern Israeli Hebrew has components of Russian, German, English, Arabic, Hebrew and other languages mixed in as well. Linguists spot that stuff. And my head is liable to detonate if I watch too many more episodes before I finish the book.
So if you run into me out and about and I appear to be babbling, I probably am. Literally.
Are you a linguist? Do you nerd out with languages and become even harder to understand to your peers? What languages do you speak.
Luego! Ciao, Badain Gebain… etc.
Because I’ve filled the position.
My day night job is in a technical industry. Most of my coworkers have “limited” social skills. I include myself in this group.
We are nerds, geeks, techies, dweebs etc. in the truest sense of the words.
My first day on the job I walked into the men’s room and immediately knew that I would fit in perfectly. Standing in front of me at a towel dispenser was a 6’2″ man of 40+ years of age bouncing up and down on his toes. His hand was held rigidly out in front of him touching the lever on towel dispenser. I identified with this immediately. After all, who says you have to move your arm to get the paper? Can’t you bounce and just hold your hand still?
Where was I going…Ah, yes. Last night I found myself clacking away on my computer and playing the keys like Victor Borge on a his silliest day. I was typing in time to the song on my speakers and punctuating and pointing at the keyboard as though I was some great performer that the audience was watching. Total nerdout.
And it was fun. I’m not apologizing. It’s me. And I’m grateful for the gifts God’s given me.
What secret quirks do you revel in? What makes you tic when others toc?
I can proudly say that I’ve never watched an episode of American Idol (I spelled it the right way in the title) on purpose. It’s been on at the gym when I’ve been there (that should tell you how long it’s been since I watched it at all) but never have I done a blessed thing to put it on my television.
Yet I still feel confident that I can predict the outcome quite accurately based on what I’ve heard people talking about the past few years. With that in mind, I thus prognosticate.
1. The judges will squabble amongst themselves. Insider stories will reveal that at least two of them hate each other and only pretend to be nice on screen. Or that they really are friends and they squabble on camera for publicity purposes.
2. At least one contestant’s sexual orientation will be far more important than any meager talent they have. The appropriate group will root for this “underdog” and the American people will be outed as haters for judging them on their sexual tastes versus their voice. But it will be cool to root for them based on this orientation. (My only hope is that they are so far off the mainstream that they will make even Capraphilia (Google searches don’t show the right result, you may have to add “goats” to figure that one out) enthusiasts blanch.)
3. The final contestants will be worn down by the “arduous journey” they have undertaken. (Let’s send them go to Afghanistan for a 9 month rotation and see how that compares for “arduous.”) Great sympathy will flow from the viewers for their “heroic” efforts to belt out meaningless songs.
4. The voting will be rigged. You can read all about it on Facebook.
5. The wrong one will win. No matter who it is, it will be the wrong one.
6. The ratings will be worse than (name the year) and it spells doom for the show. Nevermind that it takes the time slot and makes a gazillion dollars for the network. It’s proof that the show is in trouble.
7. I will actually care less than I do now when the final results come in. My interest will diminish steadily with every attempt to interest me in the show.
So, there you have it. I’ve stepped out on the limb and predicted the series before it’s even built up a head of steam. Take the time I’m saving you and read a good book.
What else can you predict in your own inimical way? What annoys you in popular culture that you would love to banish? Let me know in the comments. (Hint: this blog is not eligible.)
There are great moments when I write. There are moments that cause me to wonder why I’m fooling myself about my talents. And there are moments when pure, insane genius washes over me and the thing comes to life. The characters jump off the page, the background noises are clear and the food the characters eat tastes so good.
About five weeks later I’m revising that amazing chapter and realize that it’s complete crap. Almost every paragraph is redunant, the pacing is bad, the characters are all doing the same thing, too many nods, smiles, shakes, and other little tedious items crop up to make me want to hit “Select All” + delete.
It is a curse that every writer seems to have. The reality is that most of the work is probably pretty good but the norm (for me) is to over produce and then have to pare it down. My current WIP (Work In Progress) is a great example. Old Lardo hit 132,000 words at one point. This morning it was down to 112,000 and shrinking. I’ve taken to calling it an amphetimine & Nutri-Systems diet. Eat right and stay up for days doing crunches.
I read an article that documents that same creative process right down to the illegal stimulants. (No, I don’t use drugs. But I sure do like coffee.) Reading the text I kept thinking -You fools! It could have been ruined if you’d done that! – but they didn’t “do that” or any of the other things that I was completely unaware of at the time they were doing them.
HUH? I’m talking about The Blues Brothers. The article documents what it was like to make the movie given Belushi’s drug problems and the completely off-the-wall creative process. Dan Aykroyd and I evidently write the same way. Thankfully I have an inner John Landis to pull us all back from the brink.
I must caution you, some of the language in the article is not what you see here normally. Cursing, drugs, wierdness. But that’s life in the real world. I think it’s a good read for anyone who’s ever seen the movie.
I have to confess that when it comes on the television my wife just smiles and picks up a book. I’ve watched it dozens of times and just bought the original version of it so that the revisionists can’t take the magic away from me. I hate the Politically Correct Police who take out words, phrases, and scenes to reflect modern tastes. Leave well enough alone.
Is there a book, movie, or recording that makes you feel a kindred soul was involved? And if you’re a creative type, do you have the same love/hate relationship with your work?
Finally, a shout out to my friend Rajdeep Paulus who just announced the publication of her first book, Swimming Through Clouds, due out in June. 
I’ll be buying a copy. She’s so much fun that I have no doubt the book will be wonderful.
